The Pope dies and goes up to Heaven and knocks on the pearly gates. Saint Peter answers and the Pope says, "Hello. I'm the Pope and I'd like to come in please." Saint Peter says, "Ok but hang on a minute. we have to do a security check." Peter gets on the phone to Jesus and says, "I've got the pope here and he wants to come in. Is it all right?" Jesus says, "I'm not sure about this. We may have something on him. Try the Ark angel." So Peter phones the Ark angel who says, "I think further checks are needed. Try the Holy Ghost." So peter phones the Holy Ghost and says, "The Pope's down here and wants to come in. Is that ok?" "No!" says the Holy Ghost. "Don't let that blighter in here. He's the fellow who's been perpetuating that bit of scandal between me and the Virgin Mary."