[guide.chat] : Fw: The best divorce letter - EVER !!

From: "Keith Wines" <keith.wines@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
To: "guide chat" <guide.chat@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Date: Sun, 26 Jun 2011 23:41:21 +0100
-----Original Message-----
From: Judith Appleton
Sent On: 26/02/2011 19:10
Sent To: Keith
: Fw: The best divorce letter - EVER !!

The Best Divorce Letter, everrrr! 

FIRST LETTER:
My Dear husband:

I'm writing this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you. I've been a good wife 
to you for the last 20 years & I have nothing to show for it, and the last 
2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you left your job 
today which was the last straw. 
Last week, you came home & you didn't even notice I had a new hairstyle, had 
cooked your favourite meal & even wore a brand new nightie. 
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching your TV soaps. 
You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that 
connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love 
me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone. 
Your EX-Wife. Don't try to find me. Your BROTHER & I are moving to Invercargill 
together! Have a great life!

REPLY: 
Dear Ex-wife

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It's true you & I have been married for 20 years, although a good woman is a 
far cry from what you've been.
I watch TV soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & 
bitching. Too bad that doesn't work.
I DID notice when you got a hair do last week, but the 1st thing that came to 
mind was 'You look just like a boy!' Since my father raised me not to say 
anything, if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment.
And when you cooked my favourite meal, you must have got me confused with MY 
BROTHER because I haven't eaten pork for 7 years.
About the new nightie: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was 
still on it, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed 
$50 from me that morning. 

After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I won 
the 20 million dollar Lotto, on Saturday, I left my job & bought 2 tickets 
for us to Jamaica , but when I got home you were gone. 
Everything happens for a reason, I guess.

I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the 
letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dollar from me.

So take care.

Signed,
Your Ex-Husband, Rich As Hell & Free!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my brother Carl was born Carla.
I hope that's not a problem. 

I am using the Free version of SPAMfighter.
[guide.chat] : Fw: The best divorce letter - EVER !!

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