again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among
us.
Here is the glorious winner:
1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at
his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California would-be
robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down
the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
And now, the honorable mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a
finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted
a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one
of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a
finger.. The chef's claim was approved.
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a
space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to
find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a
Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be
transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his
incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting
there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital,
telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre
fantasies.. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
5. An American teenager was in the hospital
recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked
how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to
see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a
$20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash
drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which
the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled,
leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the
drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime
committed?]
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty
badly.. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store
window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it
over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be
thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made
of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape...
8. As a female shopper exited a New York
convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911
immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the
snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in
the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car
and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer,
that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
9.. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that
a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a
gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't
open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings,
the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast... The man, frustrated,
walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from
a motor home parked on a Seattle street by sucking on a hose, he got much more
than he bargained for.. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man
curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said
that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon
hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle
declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
In the interest of bettering mankind, please
share these with friends and family....unless of course one of these
individuals by chance is a distant relative or long lost friend. In that case,
be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.
*** Remember.... They walk among us, they can
reproduce, and they vote!!!!!
=
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