[guide.chat] Forwarded Email: Fwd: FW: Making a baby. worth reading

From: "elaine nutley" <e.nutley@xxxxxxx>
To: "Jane Balmforth" <janieb1958@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Debbie Berkinshaw" <darrenanddebi@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Ann Coleman" <m.acoleman@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Nicola Daley" <n_daly@xxxxxxxxxx>, "Mike Douel" <m.douel@xxxxxxx>, "Claire Evans" <claire@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Marion Foster" <marion331@xxxxxxxxxxx>, "Jenny Furnell" <jenifer.furnell@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Wendy Gentle" <wendygentle@xxxxxxxxxx>, "Mark Griffiths" <mark.griffiths34@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "bob griffiths" <bobgriff@xxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Guide Chat" <guide.chat@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Alf Lewendon" <alflewendon@xxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Gina Mousley" <ginamousley@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Sheila And Brian" <bj.knight007@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Date: Mon, 22 Mar 2010 12:57:51 -0000

>
>
> The Smiths were
> unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start
their
> family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his
wife
> goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'
>
>
> Half an hour later, just by chance, a
> door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to
make a
> sale.
>
>
> 'Good morning,
> Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to...'
>
> 'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs.
> Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.'
>
> 'Have you really?'
> said the photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my
> specialty?'
>
> 'Well that's what my husband and
> I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat'.
>
> After a moment she asked, blushing,
> 'Well, where do we start?'
>
> 'Leave everything to me.. I usually
> try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed.
And
> sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out
> there.'
>
> 'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder
> it didn't work out for Harry and me!'
>
> 'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee
> a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I
shoot
> from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results..'
>
>
> 'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs.
> Smith
>
> 'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has
> to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure
you'd
> be disappointed with that.'
>
> 'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith
> quietly.
>
> The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled
> out a portfolio of his baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,'
he
> said.
>
> 'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed,
> grasping at her throat.
>
> 'And these twins turned out
> exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to
work
> with.'
>
> 'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith
>
>
> 'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to
> the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and
five
> deep to get a good look'
>
> 'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith
> , her eyes wide with amazement.
>
> 'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And
> for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and
yelling
> - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush
my
> shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just
had to
> pack it all in.'
>
> Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you
> mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment? '
>
> 'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if
> you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right
> away.'
>
> 'Tripod?'
>
> 'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my
> Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very
> long.'
> Mrs. Smith fainted
>
>
> ________________________________
>
> Sign up for SEEK Jobmail. Get the
> latest jobs delivered.

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[guide.chat] Forwarded Email: Fwd: FW: Making a baby. worth reading

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