[guide.chat] Forwarded Email: B-F Humor: I predict . . .
- From: "Si Watson" <mrsvilla@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: "guide chat" <guide.chat@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Sun, 5 Jun 2011 21:21:08 +0100
: B-F Humor: I predict . . .
http://theskunk.org/2011/05/new-predictions-follow-rapture-fizzle/
Although you may be disappointed that Reverend Camping's May 21
doomsday deadline came and went, and those annoying prosylethesizers
down the street are still walking the Earth -- body parts intact --
rest assured your day is yet to come.
Here's a handy list of future world events that are certain to leave
you with at least as much fulfillment as that Rapture thing:
June 4th: THE RUPTURE
Humanity will be engulfed in one giant hiatal hernia.
July 22nd: THE FLAPTURE
People wearing long john underwear will have the sudden urge to use
an outhouse.
August 14th: THE VELOCIRAPTURE
Dinosaurs will emerge from the ground and become extinct again due
to global warming.
September 18th: THE CLAPTURE
This one's not pretty. Stock up on penicillin.
October 19th: THE APERTURE
Everyone will suddenly look like their driver's license photo.
October 31st: THE PUNKTURE
Everyone will suddenly be wearing a Ramones T-Shirt and safety pins
in their earlobes.
November 20th: THE LAPTURE
Married men will mysteriously find themselves straddled by undulating
exotic dancers.
December 25th: THE SPHINCTURE
It will be revealed that all our neighborhoods have been purchased
by Donald Trump.
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