[guide.chat] FW: Why's of men!
- From: "elaine nutley" <e.nutley@xxxxxxx>
- To: "Jane Balmforth" <janieb1958@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Debbie Berkinshaw" <darrenanddebi@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Ann Coleman" <m.acoleman@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Nicola Daley" <n_daly@xxxxxxxxxx>, "Dawn" <dawn537@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Mike Douel" <m.douel@xxxxxxx>, "Claire Evans" <claire@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Marion Foster" <marion331@xxxxxxxxxxx>, "Jenifer Furnell" <jenifer.furnell@xxxxxxxxx>, "Wendy Gentle" <wendygentle@xxxxxxxxxx>, "bob griffiths" <bobgriff@xxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Guide Chat" <guide.chat@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Gina Mousley" <ginamousley@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Shirley Springett" <tripleckickerswdc@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Joyce Welsh" <jwelsh123@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Thu, 10 Feb 2011 18:55:44 -0000
1.
WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER
DURING SEX?
(because they are
plugged into a genius)
2.
WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(they
don't have enough
time)
3.
WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE
EGG?
(they don't stop to ask
directions)
4.
WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR
BACKS?
(because their balls fall
over their butt-hole and they vapor
lock)
(You're laughing, aren't
you?!?!)
5.. WHY WERE MEN
GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so
they won't hump women's legs at cocktails
parties)
6.
WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(you
need a rough draft before you make a final
copy)
7.
HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT
DOWN?
(don't know....it never
happened)
(
C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde
jokes!)
And
the personal favourite:
8.
WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(because a vibrator can't
mow the lawn)
Remember,
if you haven't got a smile on your
face
and
laughter in your heart...Then you are just an old
sour fart!
One
for the ladies
One
day my housework-challenged husband decided to
wash his Sweat-shirt Seconds after he stepped
into
the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting
do I use on the washing machine?'
'It
depends,' I replied.. 'What does it say on your
shirt?'
He
yelled
back,
' University of
Otago
'
And they say blondes are
dumb...
-------------
A
couple is lying in bed. The man says,
'I am
going to make you the happiest woman in the
world.'
The woman replies, 'I'll miss
you...'
------------------------------------
'It's
just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack
says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey,
what
do you think the neighbours would think if I
mowed
the lawn like this?'
'Probably that I
married you for your money,' she
replied.
-------------
Q:
What do you call an intelligent, good looking,
sensitive man?
A: A
rumour
-----------------------------------------------------------
Dear
Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my
man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his
moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll
beat him to death.
AMEN
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q:
Why do little boys whine?
A: They are
practicing to be
men.
-------------
Q:
What does it mean when a man is in your bed
gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long
enough.
-----------------------------------------------------------
You're
laughing again
Q:
How do you keep your husband from reading your
e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder
'Instruction Manual.'
------------------------------------
Send
this to
at
least
five bright,
funny
women you know and make their day!
And send
this to five bright men who have enough sense of
humour to take it!
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