[first_defenders]
- From: "Jason Brett-Williams" <StormHawk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: <first_defenders@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Mon, 12 May 2003 13:35:46 -0230
Ok, as your dog I want to state what can piss me off bigtime:
1.. When you run away in the middle of a perfectly good leg humping.
2.. Blaming your farts on me... not funny.
3.. Yelling at me for barking... I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG YOU IDIOT!!
4.. How you naively believe that the stupid cat isn't all over everything
while you're gone. (Have you noticed that your toothbrush tastes a little like
cat?)
5.. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. (Exactly whose
walk is this anyway?)
6.. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose.....stop it. I
mean..........c'mon already!.
7.. Yelling at me for rubbing my ass on your carpet. Why'd you buy carpet?
8.. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry but I
haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.
9.. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth,
you're just jealous.
10.. Dog sweaters. Have you noticed my fur?
11.. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your
stuff up when you're not home.
12.. When you insist on picking up the piles in the yard. Do you realize how
far behind schedule that puts me?
13.. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised when I
freak out every time we go back there.
14.. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. Wow, you fooled a dog! What a
proud moment for the top of the food chain.
15.. Invisible fences. Why do you insist on screwing with us?
Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of
man.
Friedrich Nietzsche
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