FW: The Gospel According to St. Titleist - (Golf) comedy
- From: "DSP.EA.Large.Messages@xxxxxxxxx" <dsp.ea.large.messages@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: <DSP-EA-General@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Sun, 24 Oct 2021 16:52:49 -0600
From: DAVID ROSS <dwross@xxxxxxxxx>
Sent: October 24, 2021 4:51 PM
To: dsp.ea.large.messages@xxxxxxxxx
Subject: Fwd: The Gospel According to St. Titleist - (Golf) comedy
Subject: The Gospel According to St. Titleist - (Golf)
The Gospel According to St. Titleist
1. It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when
one is playing golf. -- Robert Lynd
2. If profanity had any influence on the flight of the ball, the game of
golf would be played far better than it is. -- Horace G. Hutchinson
3. They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. Golf is more
complicated than that. -- Gardner Dickinson
4. If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork as poorly as they do a golf
club, they'd starve to death. -- Sam Snead
5. If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. -- Dean Martin
6. If you are going to throw a club, it is important to throw it ahead of
you, down the fairway, so you don't have to waste energy going back to pick
it up. -- Tommy Bolt
7. Man blames fate for all other accidents, but feels personally
responsible when he makes a hole-in-one. -- Bishop Sheen
8 . I don't say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes they'd come up
sliced.-- Arnold Palmer
9 . My handicap? Woods and irons. -- Chris Codiroli
10. The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody would put a flag
stick on top. -- Pete Dye
11. I'm hitting the woods just great; but having a terrible time getting
out of them!-- Buddy Hackett
12. The only time my prayers are never answered is playing golf. -- Billy
Graham
13. If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong
golf ball. -- Jack Lemmon
14. It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are
still rolling. -- Mark Twain
15. Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty. -- Harry Vardon
16. May thy ball lie in green pastures, and not in still waters. -- Ben
Hogan
17. If I hit it right, it's a slice. If I hit it left, it's a hook. If I
hit it straight, it's a miracle. -- Anon
18 . Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of
a bagpipe. -- Lee Trevino
Finally:
19 . The No : 1 Golf rule you MUST follow: Always take the car keys out of
your golf bag before you throw it into the creek.
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