From: DAVID ROSS <dwross@xxxxxxxxx>
Sent: November 30, 2022 4:01 PM
To: dsp.ea.large.messages@xxxxxxxxx
Subject: Fwd: God made it so...
And on the 8th day, God created seniors. Most seniors never get enough
exercise. In His wisdom, God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they
would have to search for their eye glasses, keys, and other things, thus
doing more walking. And God looked down and saw that it was good.
Then God saw there was another need. In His wisdom He made seniors lose
coordination so they would drop things, requiring them to bend, reach, and
stretch more. And God looked down and saw that it was good.
Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have
additional calls of nature, requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus
providing more exercise. God looked down and saw that it was good.
So if you find, as you age, you are getting up and down a lot more times,
remember it's God's will. It is all in your best interest even though you
mutter under your breath.
Nine Important Facts to Remember as We Grow Older:
#9 Death is the number 1 killer in the world.
#8 Life is sexually transmitted.
#7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
#6 Men have two motivations: hunger and sex, and they can't tell them apart.
If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
#5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use
the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe they won't
bother you for years.
#4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital,
dying of nothing.
#3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to
criticism.
#2 In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is
weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.
#1 Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a
burning issue tomorrow.
Please share this wisdom with others; I would do it now but I need to go .
