Hi all,
As a result of this post which entirely disrespectful on so many ways and in
which Sadhana is contemptuous of the feedback which she requested on her own
initiative, Sadhana has now been placed on moderation. I have sent her more
specific feedback privately.
hasta la vista
Chris Walsh
806 Lygon St Carlton 3054
(Melbourne, Australia)
ph: +61 (0)3 9347 4300
fax: +61 (0)3 9347 4355
web: <http://www.cwalsh.com.au/> www.cwalsh.com.au
From: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of Kay Needham
Sent: Friday, 25 September 2009 4:56 AM
To: constellationtalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [ConstellationTalk] Fw: Sadhana apoligizes
----- Forwarded Message ----
Sent: Friday, September 25, 2009 4:53:38 AM
Subject: Sadhana apoligizes
Dear Constellation friends,
It is time for honesty. My search for an apology, and the moderators
adgenda of respect was Chris's idea. They have functioned as secondary
influences to facilitate a primary and essential energy exploration of
movement. My search has not been for an apology nor respect; my search has
been to expose and understand my "will to annihilate," prey, and that which
lies beneath; in myself and others.
You are all too kind or blind in your good conscience and refusal to judge
me. I am guilty of intermittently being engaged in a covert will to
annihilate; and I have decided to blow the whistle on this group and my will
to survive. A will to survive that resists life in the form of hatred,
competition, superiority and other assorted destructiveness, that feeds the
soul of this group.
"Yes this is also in the service of survival, to kill and take what belongs
to others."
"Each large scale conflict wants to get something out of the way."
"Ultimately it seeks to annihilate it."
Like I said to Chris, I needed help, many participated.
The "will to annihilate" was included, and a movement freed.
I have had a good laugh at all the "peeking before deleting" antics and am
grateful for the peek!
I sobbed my heart out when I read Anni's story about Head Smashed in Buffalo
Jump. I did'nt know why at the time but I do now.
I also cried when I read Dans post about the "father" and sobbed as I was
caught in an interupted reaching out movement towards my own father whom in
those moments I managed to reach.
I remembered Theresa Guerilla when Hania brought her back, and was very
touched by Hanias openess and Theresas rebelliousness.
I also pondered whether I should signature my postings "much love and hate"
after reading Dougs post.
I loved Snehs wisdom about eating and will add to it shortly.
And to Stephen and all the other women who have contacted me you have given
me much to digest that has fed the strength to follow this movement through
to the end.
Chris and Dan, my good conscience is in conflict with your good conscience.
" Anything new threatens the cohesion of the group and, therefore, its
current form of survival. And it is true that if a group gives room to the
new, it will have to dissolve or reorganize into a different form."
The differences between you and me are primarily the difference between the
masculine and the feminine principles.
My fathers name was Bernie.
Bad Bernie
Bad Bernie was in prison for seven years. The day he got out, his wife and
son were there to pick him up. He came through the gates and got into the
car.
The only thing he said was, "F.F."
His wife turned to him and answered, "E.F."
Out on the highway, he said, "F.F."
She responded simply, "E.F."
He repeated, "F.F."
She again replied, "E.F."
"Mom! Dad!" their son yelled. "What's going on?"
Bad Bernie answered, "Your mother wants to eat first!"
This morning I was taking washing off the line, and amongst it was an old
bedspread that had been on my parents bed for decades that my dog has been
sleeping on. As I took it off the line and took it into the house I found
myself not wanting to let it go. I began crying and hugging it as if I was
hugging both my parents. I felt like a small child. My parents have both
passed on. As I stood there in those few moments, in an instant I realised I
was resisting taking what they offered. An inner voice said "I can't feed
off you, its ugly; they replied "you must", and held me as I let go of my
good conscience and protection of them, and agreed. I sat hanging onto the
bedspread and sat with them for a while. After a little time my mother
stepped forward and said "Eat first" and then my father stepped beside her
and said "Fuck Second!." We then all had a good laugh!
Now I have eaten Chris and Dan, you know what I am going to do next! This
is why I needed the extra time, to eat first.
Yes, it was an eventful day today as things began to come to completion.
I took my dog for a walk this morning. There were 3 little girls standing
on a balcony in a holiday unit waving at me and my dog Shae the samoyed,
they were yelling hello. They did the same thing yesterday morning. Just as
I responded with hello Shae decides she wants to shit, so I stop, feeling
somewhat embarrassed as she does her business while they look on. I bend
down to pick up the poo with my doggy bag and right where she has shit is
another doggy poo. Instantly Hellingers words came to me.
"Can individuals protect themselves from this? They are exposed to conflict,
even without participating in it at all. But even then such individuals are
themselves in danger of responding to such agressions with their own
destructiveness, which they may have great difficulty keeping it at bay."
I thought, now if I don't pick up that poo a stranger can interpret that it
was Shae that did it. What the hell, I like a clean street and my bag was
big enough to put in two poos, so I did!
Dan has sent me a private email referring to "netequitte", that he has asked
me not to share. Dan this constellation net has alot of poos all over the
screen, they are not all mine and my bag is not big enough to carry them
all. This I ingested from Thomas's last post about "being too big." I am
learning. I have also decided that I will clean up after myself and
everyone else needs to take responsability for their own poo they have left
on constellation talk.
Dan has also said that he found some of my recent posts damaging to the
fabric of CT group. Dan I am glad it is damaged. Its too good conscience
is presently prohibiting soul movement.
He also says my post was "disrespectful because it was interpreted to speak
to the 90% of CT members who read only and do not contribute posts."
Dan you have misunderstood, my post was posted by my "will to annihilate"
for myself, you and Chris (and a few others who will know who they are by
now;) and you are right I am accusing all of us of "feeling special, or
better than others. It is hurtful and insulting."
Dan what fuelled your venemous attack on Osho? Was it not a displacement of
the "will to annihilate?"
"Within a legal system that protects the individuls from their own
destructiveness and that of others, we still see groups living our their
destructive tendencies through displacement onto other levels."
"Instead of searching together for for the best sdolution, and observing and
examining issues in an objective manner, the members of the other party or
school of thought are attacked with words of abuse, slander, defamation."
Dan you are known as somewehat of an expert in this field as contibuting
much knowledge about victim perpetrators and you have missed the very core
of it.
What continues to fuel your relationship with me? What feeds it? I also
ask the same of Chris?
Chris what was behind your false enthusiasms, "Bravo Sneh!", referrals to
cultish thinking, and so called "agreement" with Kay, " last posts? When I
read it I said to my partner, this man is hitting me with his enthusiasm and
he does not agree with me at all; is he mad or what?
"Of course madness comes in degrees, but the basic movement is there. The
individual self is dissolved in a collective. The collective consists of
nothing but anonymous people, who-through the spell of the same good
conscience- have all succumbed to the enticement of superiority over others.
This is the same movement that leads to enthusiasm. In a field of
collective enthusiasm, individual perception and discernment recede and even
disappear completely, to be replaced by delusion as a surrogate."
What can I do with this covert "will to annihilate?" Do I remain prey? Do I
turn predator? How do I turn it into a creative future? This was my search.
Dan, Chris and others, my "will to annihilate" has been unaware and
destructive in my past associations with this group and life in general. I
have been perplexed by the inner knowing that I have to accept it. Until
today I judged it as inappropriate or ugly. I was locked into my good
conscience. For this I am truly sorry and sincerely apoligize. It is only
now with the help of this group that I am able to recognise what it is I
needed to get out of the way, in order to connect in a more friendly way
with life in general.
"There are movements between people which are based on a need for connection
with each other, and a friendly curiousity, wanting to get to know each
other."
These past few days I have understood that hatred is an existential
interupted reaching out movement that pollutes and prevents life from
happening in the present. Fight and flight is what disconnects and prevents
completion. I have chosen to remain connected to you all and to my "will to
annihilate"; which I no longer percieve as fight, for the first time in my
life. I'm off my fence now and holding an image of a creative future of
"completion." Remember? This was the other post I made at the same time as
"sitting on the fence.", that nobody has mentioned.
Yesterday in Australia there was a huge dust storm that engulfed much of the
country and 75,000 tons of dust blew everywhere originating from the central
desert. Our previous floods had left this soil on the surface of our
deserts. Last night in my dream an Aboriginal elder gave me a lesson in how
to throw a boomerang to kill. The message was that when one totally engages
in this act of kill which serves life, and it hits its mark, it does not
come back to you. This morning I am remembering the Australian Aborigines
and the stolen generation and "the apology" by our politicians. Perhaps this
is also the essence that lies below the politics of this apology, and
perhaps this is why our people of origin are still pursuing reform. Life now
begins the process of eating us. It is all about balance afterall.
This group is like any other group in the grip of existential crisis. It is
polarized by good conscience and continues to feed off exclusion and
rejection. Somebody is paying. I allow you to have a good feed off me, and
I am feeding off you! I am in awe of nature at work here.
ANNI - HEAD SMASHED IN BUFFALO JUMP
This story was of great value to me in this search. The young warrior chose
to learn about what happened to Prey. His focus was not the "will to
annihilate" with the masculine. He went to the bottom silently supported in
his aloneness by the feminine to recieve knowledge of how prey or victims
become food and serve life. His love was for the victims and prey. To do
this he had to look from the bottom up, not the top down. He wanted to
understand what was there in the gap between life and death, predators and
prey, fight and flight, fear and love, night and day............what
happened to prey before it became food. The smashing of the head is
symbolic. What happens here is hidden in the dark night of the soul, it is
recreation.
Heart felt thankyou to everyone. I may or may not be able to speak to you
again, it is in the lap of the Gods whoops, I mean moderator(there it is
again-the will to annihilate in the form of sarcasm!) Caught it! I reckon
I'll get good at this. Let me rephrase, it is in the lap of the God in
Chris. Just in case Chris decides not to post this I have already sent it
to all who have been involved and a few more. So if you recieve it twice it
means I'm still in! Sorry Chris! The devil made me do it! I learnt a long
time ago that it is alot easier to get forgiveness than it is to get
permission.
SPECIAL MESSAGES TO SPECIAL PEOPLE.
MELODY MANDERO
Melody tell the women elders I have remembered what they had taught me long
ago. "Eat well, fuck well in a right order and life will take care of the
rest." Tell them "go get em! Eat em alive!" Love
MARIA DOLNEC
Maria, remember our constellation when my representative was standing
looking up? The whole field trembled, when the eyes came down. You said
"he (my son) wants something from you." When the eyes went down we
connected. Perhaps this is what he wanted.....my eyes now look down also.
Love.
BIRGIT MOKLINE
Birgit remember when my son was in the Ethiopian family line of his father
and there was nothing but generational hatred? The representative of my son
said "I feel lost". Perhaps this will help him to find himself. Love
THOMAS BRYSON
You were happy to hear that I had consented by saying to my son "even if you
turn our exactly like your father (full of hatred) I agree." I never knew I
was also agreeing to all of this. Love
SAM BORRETT
Sam remember when I held hands with my brother and then my son and his
father? This is the image of completion. Love
MYBAN AND LEWIS OF THE BUNGALONG
I am honoured by the invitation. I will wait until the dust clears. Love
FRANCESCA BORING AND RELATIONS
Fran and family thankyou for your silent, strong, unwavering systemic stance
and support, it helped. One thing I ask. Are you able to say more about
Australian Aboriginal "Dry" ? Love
I have copied the chapter of Berts Book Rising in Love - Major conflicts;
and placed it on the bottom of my index webpage...........that is actually
what provoked my enquirey. I must have read it more than 15 times in the
past week. Interesting reading about us. I got caught up in a movement
which said effect first. If I'm not mistaken, I think you are all caught up
in it too. Thankyou all from the bottom of my belly, I only ever wanted to
move closer to you. I now understand what was in the way. I will work
positively to reform.
www.familyconstellationeducation.com
Go to bottom of page
MAJOR CONFLICTS-The Will To Annihilate, taken from Rising In Love By Bert
Hellinger
Hasta la vista Sadhana
'Hasta la vista, baby' came to the wider attention of the English-speaking
world via the 1991 film Terminator 2: Judgment Day, which was written by
James Cameron and William Wisher Jr.
The phrase features in an exchange between the film's characters John Connor
(Edward Furlong) and 'The Terminator' (Arnold Schwarzenegger):
John Connor: (Sadhana) No, no, no, no. You gotta listen to the way people
talk. You don't say "affirmative," or some shit like that. You say "no
problemo." And if someone comes on to you with an attitude you say "eat me."
And if you want to shine them on it's "hasta la vista, baby."
The Terminator: (Chris)Hasta la vista, baby.you say, "chill out"! Or you can do combinations.
John Connor: (Sadhana) Yeah but later, dickwad. And if someone gets upset
The Terminator: (Chris) Chill out, dickwad.This phrase has of course been in everyday use in Spanish-speaking
John Connor: (Sadhana) Great! See, you're getting it!
The Terminator: (Chris) No problemo.
