Gary fantastic!
If we honor the commitment to work collaboratively and not go to Court, could
we say that there are unlimited horizons and possibilities for us to work
together?
You didn’t mention a participation agreement. You shared that you were
working with lawyers you that were not collaboratively trained. They are not
a part of a practice group and we know they didn’t attend a collaborative
training.
Yet, you found a way to work within your values, honoring collaborative
principles and lead by example.
Awesome. Congrats.
Best,
David Murch
David R. Murch, Esq., P.C.
674 Ridge Road
Webster, New York 14580
Davidmurchesq@xxxxxxxxx
www.davidmurchesq.com
585.671.4473
585.671.1342 fax
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From: CollabLaw@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx [mailto:CollabLaw@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx] ;
Sent: Thursday, April 23, 2015 10:36 AM
To: CollabLaw@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: Re: [CollabLaw] Can I gush for a moment....
Way to go, Gary! I completely agree that changes like this create lasting
change that benefit everyone involved--especially children.
All the best,
JoAnne Pedro-Carroll
On Wed, Apr 22, 2015 at 6:04 PM, Gary Direnfeld gary@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
[CollabLaw] <CollabLaw@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
A few months ago I decided to suspend all court related services. I am now only
providing those services that are geared to reducing conflict and facilitating
settlement.
Today I provided the first of a newly offered service. I call it a closed
single session joint consultation. For reference, here is what it is:
http://www.yoursocialworker.com/Closed-single-session-joint-consultation.htm
Today's matter involved high conflict separated parents whose truly complex
matter has been before the courts for 2.5 years with concurrent child
protection agency involvement. I was originally sought after to provide a
custody/access evaluation - the day after my decision of no more court. In
fact, the parents were already Court Ordered to wok with me as the evaluator
and yet I had never even been approached by either lawyer in advance of being
put forward at Court.
I declined the referral from the lawyers and explained I no longer provide
court involved services. I was later called by the child protection agency and
asked to provide a parenting capacity assessment with regard to one of the
parents. I declined.
It seems the parents and lawyers still wanted my input and so I offered the
closed single session joint consultation and offered it on the condition that
the lawyers attend too. I think that sometimes people need to get a taste of
what real help looks like as opposed to the positional services they are most
used too. BTW - NOT collaborative lawyers.
As a result of today's meeting, the parents and lawyers had a far better
understanding of historic issues fuelling current conflict. On that basis, one
parent apologized spontaneously to the other. Both undertook to not induct the
child into adult matters - now that they finally understood what that meant and
how it was destructive.
The parents/lawyers are now discussing carrying on with me in a therapeutic
capacity.
I must say, this was a 4-hour intense meeting. However, there is for the first
time a hope that this matter may be diverted from court and dealt with as the
relationship issue it is. Both parents expressed their gratitude despite rather
forthright feedback provided.
I am feeling pleased about my decision to refrain from providing court involved
services. Yes, my income has taken a substantial hit, but I can already see an
increase in this and my other services aimed particularly at helping the more
challenging parents resolve matters more peacefully.
Best,
Gary
Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW
Interaction Consultants
20 Suter Crescent, Dundas, Ontario, Canada L9H 6R5
(905) 628-4847 <tel:%28905%29%20628-4847>
gary@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
www.yoursocialworker.com
www.ipromiseprogram.com
http://www.facebook.com/GaryDirenfeldSocialWorker
http://www.linkedin.com/profile/view?id=60758978 ;
<http://www.linkedin.com/profile/view?id=60758978&trk=tab_pro> &trk=tab_pro
https://twitter.com/socialtworker
--
Jo Anne Pedro-Carroll, Ph.D.,
Author, Putting Children First: Proven parenting strategies for helping
children thrive through divorce
Clinical Psychologist and Child Specialist
Brighton Campus Park
2024 W. Henrietta Rd. Suite 5i
Rochester, New York 14623
USA
(585)292-0218
www.pedro-carroll.com
http://helpingchildrenthrive.wordpress.com/
