Thank you, all. By the way, Kellie, your answer is my favorite, by far, for
questioning the premise.
Best regards,
Adam
Sent from my iPhone
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Find Out How Collaborative Family Law Can Help You.
Adam B. Cordover
Attorney-at-Law
FAMILY DIPLOMACY:
A COLLABORATIVE LAW FIRM
412 East Madison Street, Suite 824
Tampa, Florida 33602
813.443.0615 (telephone)
813.489.4567 (facsimile)
adam@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
www.FamilyDiplomacy.com
On Aug 11, 2018, at 8:26 PM, Adam Cordover <adam@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
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Find Out How Collaborative Family Law Can Help You.
Adam B. Cordover
Attorney-at-Law
FAMILY DIPLOMACY:
A COLLABORATIVE LAW FIRM
412 East Madison Street, Suite 824
Tampa, Florida 33602
813.443.0615 (telephone)
813.489.4567 (facsimile)
adam@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
www.FamilyDiplomacy.com
On Aug 11, 2018, at 12:18 PM, Kellie McConahay kellie@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
[CollabLaw] <CollabLaw@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
I find this description from the other lawyer loaded with judgmental
language, and much of it based on speculation. “Not the motherly type.”
“Child born out of wedlock.” “Maybe into pornography.” “Suspicious his wife
never divorced Husband #1.”
I find the most difficult collaborative cases are ones where one (or both)
of the clients lack an ability to feel empathy towards their spouse. Many
couples have deep wounds, poor communication and conflict. But if a client
can’t see some good in the other parent, it will be a tough road. And here,
I think there could be judgment by the lawyer as well, based on the way this
information was presented. I could be wrong about it, but it raises red
flags to me.
I also find it interesting how much our clients will tell us all the
skeletons about their spouse, but not about themselves. I had a case where
we had signed the Participation Agreement, and the other lawyer and I were
debriefing. The other lawyer mentioned that my client had been through
treatment three times for addiction. I was not aware of this. Then I
mentioned that my client was feeling really burned by the affair. The other
lawyer did not know his client had an affair. Both our clients readily
acknowledged these facts to each of us later, but those details were omitted
in their early contact with each of us. It’s human nature to want to paint
oneself in a better light. Sometimes that means criticizing the spouse. So
the lawyer who posed the question should keep in mind that there is always
more to the story. I find a helpful question to be: “What do you think your
spouse would say is the reason for the divorce/ about your parenting?"
It’s also not hard to research whether there was a divorce (unless it was in
another country, I suppose). So I’m not sure why it’s just a suspicion. And
if one is going to ultimately try to invalidate a marriage, then there’s no
value in it as a “club” to save for later. Even putting aside collaborative
as a process, I fail to see why there is any strategic advantage to keeping
this secret. And I can foresee problems with any pleadings if this
information was known and not disclosed to the Court.
Kellie McConahay
Attorney & Certified Divorce Financial Analyst
McConahay Law Firm PC
3300 Edinborough Way, Suite 550
Edina, MN 55435
Office: 952-405-2065
www.mcconahaylaw.com
kellie@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Collaborative Law & Mediation
Featured blogger at www.collaborativedivorceoptions.com
On Aug 10, 2018, at 4:49 PM, Adam Cordover adam@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx [CollabLaw]
<CollabLaw@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
A local colleague sent me the following facts and asked me to place it on
the listserve. We would love to get your thoughts:
I have a dilemma. My client is a father who desires to have either sole
parental responsibility or primary residential custody of his two young
children of his marriage. The parties have been married for about 4 years.
The mother has one other child out-of-wedlock.. The mother was previously
married to another man. My client has just recently become suspicious that
his wife never divorced Husband #1. Should Wife not be able to prove that
she properly divorced Husband #1, my client would try and obtain a summary
judgment that would nullify the parties’ marriage.
The wife is represented by a collaboratively-trained attorney. Wife is not
the motherly type of person. She has been working as a waitress and maybe
into pornography. I believe that the parties would be better going
collaboratively rather than going adversarial.
My dilemma is that my client does not want to divulge that he knows about
the “alleged” bigamous marriage. Can I represent my client in the
collaborative process without sharing the “club” that my client thinks he
as in the bigamous relationship?
My sense is that I cannot do this, however, I am not sure.
---
Find Out How Collaborative Family Law Can Help You.
Adam B.. Cordover
Attorney-at-Law
FAMILY DIPLOMACY:
A COLLABORATIVE LAW FIRM
412 East Madison Street, Suite 824
Tampa, Florida 33602
813.443.0615 (telephone)
813.489.4567 (facsimile)
adam@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
www.FamilyDiplomacy.com
<image001.jpg><image002.jpg><image003.png>
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Author: Mosten, Forrest S.. & Cordover, Adam B., Building a Successful
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