Thank you, Anne, for writing this. Collaboration means so much to me and your
story reminds me of why I started this work and inspires me to keep moving
forward. Peace to you and yours.
Attorney Diane L. Mader
dmader@xxxxxxxxxx
6702 Stonefield Road, Suite 100
Middleton, WI 53562
tel: (608) 836-7667
www.maderlaw.com
Member, Collaborative Family Law Council of Wisconsin
Resolving Disputes Respectfully
----- Original Message -----
From: Anne Towey
To: cli@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx ; CollabLaw@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sent: Monday, May 07, 2012 11:14 PM
Subject: [CollabLaw] Spirituality Honesty Collaborative Practice Cancer
Facing Death
To newer CLI and IACP members, I am probably a stranger as I have been far
less active over the past 2 years than I was prior. I apologize for the
intrusion in your regularly scheduled life.
As some of you know, I left civil litigation about 6-7 years ago. I learned
about Collaborative Practice -which answered all the reasons I had never been
willing to touch family law and all of the reasons I was no longer able to
function as a civil litigator. It also answered a spiritual longing- it allowed
me to, for the first time, feel proud about the work of a lawyer.
I later realized that I was also was called to the practice because I needed
to believe that a divorce could be handled in such a way that children(like my
then 3 year old) were not destroyed. After our Collaborative Practice divorce,
I took my then 3 ½ year old to Tibet for about a month. Our lives were changed
forever.
Flash forward about 5-6 years, my son's "papa Jeff" (my husband Jeff) has
colorectal cancer. He was diagnosed about 2 years ago. After treating at the
Mayo, and an unfortunate immediate recurrence, we had been doing chemo
treatments to keep the stage 4 cancer at bay. A month or so ago my husband
decided to move to home hospice. This has been one of the best decisions we
have ever made. Without chemo his body is no longer being attacked by the
drugs. It instead is going with the flow of the cancer. As a Taoist, this has
great meaning for him. And he is feeling so much better. The side effects of
his treatment had become too much. He is feeling vibrant again. And at the same
time, his body is failing him a bit more each day.
We are feeling so blessed. Our Alex is resilient as can be and having the
best academic & social year of his life. We are living in the Now as often as
possible, while we walk hand in hand toward Jeffy's death. And all of our
deaths for that matter.
I have incredible gratitude for this life and all available to all of us. A
year ago I was moved by the shock when Lee Edison's husband Jeff passed away
having been in a clinical study and seeming to have been doing well. I owe so
much to Lee Edison and her family for simply sharing the news. I began working
from home -- pretty much moments after hearing the news that his health was
deteriorating rapidly. Lee, thank you for this gift you never intended to give.
I went numb. When I came to I was reevaluating priorities--just in time to have
had a glorious year or so working from home, being with my Jeff as much as
possible.
About one year later, we are now on home hospice, having enjoyed the past two
years to the best of our abilities. Our Alex is as resilient as I could have
imagined, and enjoys playing in baseball games knowing mom and dad are there,
as well as step-dad "papa Jeff" and possibly future step-mom "Jen". Deb
Clemmensen, thank you for your work with our family as your skills have helped
our evolutions n ways you may not even know! And your work on so many cases has
been the source of my ability to work with families in crisis as they work
toward healthy resolution, all while being proud of being involved because it
is "right work".
I am not sure what karma I had burned off to be able to work most of my
Collaborative career on cases with Stu, but.wow. I hope to one day be able to
share some of what I learned from: working with Stu, going through a
collaborative divorce, dealing with a third party having Axis 2 issues that
impacted our child, learning to forgive and re-learning to forgive, etc.,
constantly being reminded how human we all are, walking with my best friend
toward his death, etc.
I love all of us for being the community in which I have found centering,
lost centering, and am finding it again.
Our Caring Bridge Site can be found at
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/jeffhenninger/mystory ;
We plan on walking the "Get Your Rear in Gear 5k" event here in the Twin
Cities. If interested in walking with us or contributing to a good cause,
please visit our walking team's site:
http://events.getyourrearingear.com/site/TR/TwinCities/General?team_id=2521&pg=team&fr_id=1250
If you are still reading, I thank you. I too often read beyond to find the
real point. I wish you the best outcome in all of your adventures in this life
and beyond.
Namaste
Warmly,
Anne
Anne C. Towey Henninger, of Anne C. Towey, PLLC
Anne C. Towey, PLLC
Main: 952.476.5295 web: www.atowey.com
18305 Minnetonka Blvd, Suite 201
Wayzata, MN 55391
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