Some thoughts on this request. First, of course, Laurie, I honor you for
seeking the support this couple desires.
I also want to make a couple of comments based on the specific request. And
I want to make it clear that I am making these based, of course on no
knowledge of the couple other than what is in your email.
I make these comments from my bias/belief that part of what we are called
upon to do to serve our clients is sometimes to suggest to them that the
answer they have decided upon might not serve them as well as some other
one; that we are not obligated to simply do as the client requests.
So, what I make up is that the couple has decided that they want to try to
stay together. And that they have further decided that if they come to some
agreement on the "financial issues", they will be able to do that.
My first comment is based on an assumption that they are correct in their
self-assessment. They just need some supportive, maybe even creative, help
on the details of their financial questions and answers. If that is so, I
would suggest that in addition to the fine attorneys who have been named,
you might want to consider a referal to a financial professional who has had
training and experience as a financial neutral and as a mediator.
My second comment is additionally from my own bias [I'm also an MHP]. And
it is based on the assumption that they are not so accurate in their
self-assessment. In describing the "presenting problem", you either
intentionally or inadvertently used a term of jargon/art in the mental
health area. But it is one that most of us as non-MHPs can readily "get".
Sometimes what people say is the problem is NOT the problem.
Financial "issues" are often not questions of numbers. They are reflections
of varying attitudes toward money. To the extent that the couple is seeking
to stay together for longer than it takes to come to some agreement on the
current financial issues, they may well need to do some work on
understanding, valuing and accomodating each other's attitudes toward money
[and/or other integrated issues]. In which case, they may be best served by
one the fine neutral Mental Health professionals that have been trained in
Texas, some of whom I'm sure also have mediation experience.
So, in general what I am suggesting is simply that we look beyond the
burden/box of lawyer as the "go-to" person for every issue between a couple.
That is the blessing of the Interdisciplinary approach that Collaborative
Practice offers. Here, for example, you are expressing no issue that seems
to require legal experience. Indeed, as a mediator a lawyer would be at
least limited in making statements as to what the law would
require/direct/suggest as to any of the "issues".
I'm not saying don't refer them to a lawyer. I'm suggesting that offering
them the full range of options may well help them focus on what they
actually need to work on in order to achieve their goal of staying together.
And it underscores why they came to you for the referral in the first place.
That you care enough about them to reach out and find the referrals that can
provide them the help they need.
Thanks for caring enough to reach out !
InJoy!
cMr
Collaborative PracticeChicago
Resolving Disputes Respectfully.
Divorce Without Warfare
carl Michael rossi, M.A. J.D., L.P.C.
Attorney, Mediator, Coach, Counselor
773-292-3456
<mailto:cMr@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> cMr@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
<http://www.cpchicago.net/> www.CPChicago.net
-----Original Message-----
From: CollabLaw@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx [mailto:CollabLaw@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf
Of Laurie Israel
Sent: Monday, April 28, 2008 8:07 AM
To: collablaw@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [CollabLaw] Looking for a Marital Mediator in Houston
Dear All -
Am looking for someone to work with a married couple in Houston as a
"marital mediator",
a/k/a mediation to stay married practitioner. The potential clients want to
work out marital issues with a mediator.
The presenting problem mainly revolves around financial issues.
I am looking for someone who is an attorney who is both a collaborative
lawyer and a divorce mediator.
If the person has worked with people who are aiming to stay married, so much
the better.
Otherwise, I'd like to refer them to someone willing to take this on, who
feels they could work with this type of situation.
Laurie Israel
Laurie Israel, Esq.
1318 Beacon Street Suite 19
Brookline, MA 02446
Tel. (617) 277-3774
Fax. (617) 277-6520
www.laurieisrael.com
www.mediationtostaymarried.com <http://www.mediatio
<http://www.mediationtostaymarried.com/> ntostaymarried.com/>
www.massclc.org
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Read Laurie Israel's latest article, "
<http://www.laurieis
<http://www.laurieisrael.com/25_secrets_of_great_marriage.asp>
rael.com/25_secrets_of_great_marriage.asp> 25 Secrets to
a Great Marriage".
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