What did the wise men say after they offered up their gifts of gold and
frankincense? Wait, there's myrrh.
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? Claus-trophobia!
What do you call Santa when he stops moving? Santa Pause.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Ice crispies.
How do you help someone who has lost their Christmas spirit? Nurse them
back to elf.
What do you call an elf that runs away from Santa's workshop? A rebel
without a Claus!
What do you call a reindeer ghost? Cari-boo!
What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum? A meltdown.
Why are elves such great motivational speakers? They have plenty of
elf-confidence.
Why do reindeer like Beyoncé so much? She sleighs.
What reindeer game do reindeer play at sleepovers? Truth or deer.
What did Santa say when he stepped into a big puddle? It must have reindeer.
What does Rudolph want for Christmas? A Pony sleigh station.
What is Santa's dog's name? Santa Paws!
Where do Santa's reindeer stop for coffee? Star-bucks!
What’s every elf’s favorite type of music? Wrap!
What’s the absolute best Christmas present? A broken drum — you can’t
beat it!
What happens if you eat Christmas decorations? You get tinsel-it is.
What do Santa's elves learn in school? The elf-abet.
What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? Rude-olph.
What do grapes sing at Christmas? 'Tis the season to be jelly.
What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary
alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has Noel.
What did the gingerbread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet!
What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Ice Crispies.
Who is never hungry at Christmas? The turkey—he’s always stuffed.
What did the English teacher call Santa's helpers? Subordinate Clauses.
Which of Santa’s friends is the most chill? Jack Frost.
How do elves respond when Santa takes attendance? “Present!”
What's red and white and falls down chimneys? Santa Klutz!
How can Santa deliver presents during a thunderstorm? His sleigh is
flown by raindeer.
What's Santa Claus's favorite type of potato chip? Crisp Pringles!
What is Santa’s primary language? North Polish.
Why does Santa go down the chimney? Because it soots him!
What is Santa's favorite kind of candy? Jolly ranchers.
How do the elves clean Santa's sleigh on the day after Christmas? They
use Santa-tizer.
How do you know when Santa’s around? You can always sense his presents.
What was Santa's favorite subject in school? Chemis-tree!
Why does Santa always enter through the chimney? Because it soots him.
How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing, it was on the house!
What do you call a broke Santa Claus? Saint-nickel-less.
What goes “Oh, Oh, Oh”? Santa walking backward!
What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? A Christmas quacker.
Why did Santa Claus get a parking ticket on Christmas Eve? He left his
sleigh in a snow parking zone.
What’s Santa’s favorite fruit? (Sugar)plums.
Who’s Santa’s favorite singer? Elfish Presley.
What’s every elf’s favorite type of music? Wrap!
--
Jacob Kruger
Skype: BlindZA
"...resistance is futile...but, acceptance is versatile..."
