Victoria
From: Pastor Tim Burt [mailto:timguyy@xxxxxxxxx]
Sent: Friday, August 28, 2015 7:04 PM
To: vegilkerson@xxxxxxxxx
Subject: A Little Humor is Good for the Soul! Fresh Manna by Pastor Tim Burt
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Fresh Manna
by Pastor Tim Burt
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Kids think and say things that make us laugh! I thought a little humor might do
you some good! Have a blessed weekend!
Proverbs 17:22 “A cheerful heart is good medicine…”
HONESTY
My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped
his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage.
Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out
with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We
better throw this one out too, then 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago.
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NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman
in a convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was
reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom!
That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"
OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his
mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not
necessarily those of his parents."
KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the bottle. During
her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the
phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother. Then she
added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting
the bottle."
MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room.
When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels
and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked,
"What's the matter haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
POLICE
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station.
As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a
little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked. "It
sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of
the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"
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ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I
used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly
intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers
and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking
in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she
merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"
DEATH
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the
intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his
5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper
burial should be performed, then had secured a small box and cotton batting,
then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's
son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned
his version of what he thought his father always said: "Glory be the Faaaather,
and unto the Sonnnn..... and into the hole he goooes."
SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my
time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let
me talk!"
BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered
through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible; he picked up
the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed
in-between the pages. "Mama, look what I found", the boy called out." What have
you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered,
"I think it's Adam's underwear!"
In His Love,
Pastor Tim Burt
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