=/\= To Feel And To Be =/\= (part three) (NOTE: This log contains adult themes and material. It is not pornographic, but it is explicit and borders on graphic. In addition to sexually oriented material, it is based on mature psychological themes. If this bothers you, please do not scroll down to read it.) Kaera nodded, and together they made their way to the other part of the room. Pausing beside the bed (which was so large she wondered briefly how he could bear to sleep alone in it -- she knew she would feel lost if she had that much space to herself), she fumbled with the fastening of his trousers. His shoes, and hers, had been left behind somewhere along the way. While she fumbled with his trousers he traced the individual scales on her chest and abdomen. He found them to be interesting. "Do they ever come off?" He asked genuinely interested. "What happens when you get sand between them at the beach?" His touch was maddening, and caused her to fumble even more. "The small scales flake off sometimes," she said distractedly. "Usually in dry weather, you know. Sand doesn't stick, really, but if it does, it'll come off with a soft brush. Like a toothbrush, only bigger." The explanation, while it distracted her from her growing arousal, was welcome as a small break. It made her even more responsive when his hand moved to stroke the soft skin of her breast, just as she figured out how the fastener of his trousers worked. "Mmmm," she murmured softly. She wasn't sure which was more interesting, the heat of his hands or the coolness of the moving air when he blew on her. She tugged his trousers out of the way and let them drop so that he could step out of them. Now they were both clad only in snug undergarments, and his arousal was apparent. She let the palm of her hand brush against the front of his underwear as she sat on the edge of the bed. "Mmmm yourself." He answered to her touch and smiled at her running the back of his hand down her neck ridges, over her shoulder and finally under her breasts. He watched her reaction carefully keenly interested in her reactions as a way of telling just how aroused she was getting by his touches. She was having feelings she had never felt before. The physical sensations blended with the sense of voluntarily giving up control, until she was almost lost in the tingling, throbbing, spinning that was going on in her brain. Her breasts ached, but it was a good ache, and the warmth in the pit of her belly spread until it was halfway down her thighs. "Hold me?" she whispered. He brought her to him. Holding her gently. "If you want to slow down, you need only say so." He smiled down at her. "Sometimes, " he said, " it can be quite pleasurable to build and build and then relax for a bit before building again to an even higher level of desire." Kaera nodded. She was having difficulty focusing enough to speak. After long moments, she shifted around so that they were lying together, arms wrapped around each other. Relaxing against the heat of his body, she let go of the taut anticipation and spent a short time just enjoying the closeness. "Cam...?" He continued to stroke her back and arms, allowing her to stay somewhat stimulated as they lay together. "Yes, Kaera?" "It's not going to hurt," she whispered, sharing her joy at that thought. "It's going to feel good... isn't it?" He turned so he was looking down at her. His face was as serious as she had seen it. It may have been as serious as any one had ever seen it. "I want you to listen to me very carefully, Kaera. And when I am finished, I want you to say you understand, if you do." She nodded again. "I will never do anything to hurt you, Kaera. You have allowed me to feel what those other men made you feel, and I am honored by the sharing." His hand was still caressing her. "And while I cannot promise you that it will feel great, I think you will enjoy it more than you have ever before. And that is a gift that you will have given me. A gift I will be grateful for." He smiled down at her. "And as I said a moment ago, we can slow down any time you want. We can even..." he paused a moment, "stop. If you really wanted to." "Oh, no," she protested softly. "I don't want to stop." Her eyes shone with passion. "I do understand, Cam. This is... it's not anything I could ever have imagined. I want to be with you. I want to -- to do this. To be intimate in this way." "I want that as well, but I also want it to be enjoyable for both of us. I won't be able to enjoy being with you if you are not enjoying being with me." He leaned down and kissed her. She kissed him back, making it perfectly clear that she was enjoying being with him. And let her hands roam along his chest and back once again, daring gradually to touch lower down his torso. His kiss grew more passionate as her hands explored his body and his hands explored hers. He could feel the scales on her body get softer as he went lower. Did that mean they got more sensitive? he wondered. His hands were moving everywhere, searching, touching, caressing, and arousing her even more. When his hands touched the edge of her undergarment, she quickly squirmed out of it, for the first time craving a touch on the most sensitive parts of her body. Her fingers came to rest on his chest, touching his small taut nipples. She wanted to see and feel what his underwear still covered, but a part of her still hesitated, so she was willing to wait for a short while until the rest of her fears could be erased. As she squirmed beside and beneath him his hands went lower. He groaned a bit at her touch, enjoying her teasing of him. His fingers moved lower until finally his feathery touch found what it was looking for and began a slow rhythmic massage that was designed to bring her to even higher levels of passion. Kaera started to flinch as Cam's hand slid along the delicate scales leading to her most private parts. But she forced herself to relax. Cam could feel what she felt, and he wouldn't hurt her. He would know if it hurt. He would stop if it hurt. Her body quivered all over as his questing fingers found their goal and stroked lightly as a feather. "Oh..." she sighed on a long indrawn breath. It didn't hurt. Quite the contrary, it was so pleasant as to be nearly unbearable. He was watching her. He could tell that she liked what he was doing not only by watching how she was reacting but he could feel it coming from her. He smiled a small smile as he looked into her eyes. He could also feel something else. She was worried about something. "Its all right Kaera. Trust me." And before she could respond he leaned down and kissed her deeply. Never, never had she been in such a situation as this. She had been used, never made love to. She hadn't understood, until now, why a woman would enjoy physical intimacy. Now she knew. But even as she shared this deep, sweet, intoxicating kiss... even as her body throbbed and spasmed to his touch, there was something missing. The kiss gradually ended, and she looked up into his eyes. "Wait..." she whispered. He was suddenly concerned. Why did she want to stop? Had he misinterpreted something? He was quickly replaying events in his mind, not finding anything that he could have misread. "What is it?" His voice showed the concern he felt. It wasn't easy to express herself, especially when her body was still shuddering with pleasure. Kaera tried to smile reassuringly, and clung to him. "It's... wonderful," she breathed. "But... but I'm not feeling what you're feeling... I want to share that... to feel your pleasure too..." She blushed a little, embarrassed. It was hard to tell whether he was holding back, or whether her own feelings were overwhelming her ability to feel his. He smiled at her again, enjoying the sight of her blushing. "You need not be embarrassed. I wasn't holding anything back from you." He kissed her again, opening up even more, showing her exactly what he was feeling. All the pleasure and excitement and mystery he felt about her. Again, it was so different... the emotions, rather than just raw physical desire and pleasure. "I could lose myself in this," Kaera murmured, sliding one hand down his chest and side toward his hip. "I could drown in you..." It wasn't anything she had ever considered saying, but as she heard herself say the words, she knew they were true. "I won't let you get lost. Nor will I allow you to go under and drown. Explore it, Kaera. And share it with me," he encouraged her. He wanted her to see if she could climb higher and farther. He wanted her to feel the true depth and breadth of the emotions of this experience. Emboldened by his words, she tugged a little at the waistband of his undergarment, silently encouraging him to remove it. He had touched her in her most sensitive place, and she wanted to do the same for him. More than that, she wanted to give him the same sorts of feelings he was giving her. He helped her ease them down and was quickly beside her again but this time he had rolled so he was on his back looking up at her. Her eyes silently asked permission as she stretched tentative fingers to touch and stroke him. Curiously, she looked to see the differences between his anatomy and that of Cardassian males. Not so very different, but enough to notice. One fingertip made contact as she watched his face, her every sense extended to learn what he was feeling. He nodded at the first tentative touch of her hand, wanting to encourage her. He was looking at her as he showed her what he was feeling. Everything he was feeling. She was like no other woman he had been with. Was this becoming more than just another liason for him? He reached up and stroked her face and down her neck ridges again, allowing more and more of the confusion to leak through. Puzzled, Kaera looked at him, trying to sift through the mixed feelings. Her hand encircled him, but she paused, unsure of what was happening emotionally. She kissed his face softly, a little scared by the sudden confusion. "What is it, Cam?" she whispered. "I have never fallen so hard so fast." He could remember every detail about each woman he had been with. The way she looked, smelled, tasted. Even the way her feelings felt. None of them seemed to matter to hiim as much as this one did. "I am not sure I can explain it to you. You can feel it, though, can't you?" Kaera nodded slowly. She could feel it. She felt much the same, herself, although she would have attributed it to the newness of the whole experience and her lack of a frame of reference. "Like... wanting to drown in you," she murmured. "To be immersed, completely and forever..." Saying it made it even more real, and she wrapped herself around him, clinging tightly. "Yes." He hugged her to him and stroked her hair trying to comfort her. "I feel the same way about you, Kaera. I have never felt that way about anyone before." He ran a hand sensuously down her back and then lower to her hip, and lower still until it rested on her behind. "But you have had many bedmates...?" Talking took the edge off her physical desire, but it seemed to enhance the emotional component. She arched her body in one fluid motion, straddling his hips, and lay atop him, her head resting on his chest. He kept up the gentle caresses as he spoke. "Yes. And I have felt strongly about each of them. But none of them have given me as much emotional pleasure to go along with the physical pleasure as you have." He enjoyed having her like this. Feeling her this way. He could feel that she was still aroused and he moved his hands to touch her where the soft skin of the sides of her breasts was pushing out between the two of them Cam's words would have been flattering if it wasn't that she could feel his utter sincerity. Kaera looked up and smiled at him, lifting up so that he could caress her breasts more completely. In this position, she could rub herself on him, and she did so with a slow movement of her hips. "It's... almost too much to think about, all at once," she said softly, and continued the slow back-and-forth motion, basking in the feeling that passed between them. He groaned as she moved on him, closing his eyes momentarily. He slid his hands around to the front of her breasts, caressing them. He was enjoying what she was doing to him. And his arousal was obvious. Her knees would have buckled at his groan and the accompanying surge of emotion, if she wasn't already on them. And it was the most natural thing in the world to shift slightly as she moved, causing him to push slowly into her. She pushed back, a small sound of pleasure forming in her throat. He slid his hands down her sides to her hips, to help her onto him. The emotions were strong. The pleasure was strong too. He watched her suppress the sound and frowned. "I thought I told you to share it with me." He said through ragged breaths. Kaera arched her back as her muscles tightened around him involuntarily. She might have held back the sound, but her emotions and the sensations of pleasure spilled from her and she couldn't have restrained them if she wanted to. "I'll scream," she gasped, as her hips jerked under her. Bright spasms of ecstasy burned along her nerves, only making her want more. She had never wanted anything like this before, and she knew he knew it. "If that is what you feel, then let it go." He was building as well. He showed her how close he was. How quickly she was pulling him with her. And how good it felt to him. Her body undulated atop him, anchored by the contact of their parts and by his hands grasping her hips. Muscles she hadn't known were there pushed and pulled against his hardness, and Kaera dizzily found herself babbling small endearments in her native language. She didn't stop, though. She couldn't stop, she could only arch and slide and bear down on him, twitching as his thumb found again that sensitive spot he had touched earlier. That was all... she could take no more, and slammed her hips into him as she exploded in taut spasms, screaming incoherently. And as she screamed he let go as well. She had pulled him over the edge and he too was babbling in his first language, words that had similar meanings to those she was saying to him. Thoughts and images flashed in his mind as the pleasure exploded out of him. Sharing them with her only heightened the sensations they were feeling. And when it was over he held her to him closely. It seemed to take a long time for the dizziness to subside, and when it did, Kaera found herself snuggled warmly in Cam's embrace. They were still joined, and the aftershocks of their mutual climax shuddered through them every few moments. Her eyes sparkled with joy and a slightly mischievous laughter as she gazed into his again. "It didn't hurt..." "I told you it wouldn't." He chuckled. "I like that look you have, too. So playful now. Before, you were so serious." He smiled. "I suppose I'm serious by nature," she sighed softly, cuddling a bit. "But it feels good to make a joke sometimes. And to share something so personal, that only you and I will find it funny..." Her smile echoed the deep contentment he had brought out in her. He could feel the contentment within her, and it made him smile, too. But his eyes grew sober again. "I was serious when I spoke earlier, Kaera. I have never been with anyone like you before. With most of my women," He paused a moment before starting again. "That's not true. With the other women I have been with, we both knew at the time that it was not going to be more than a night or two." He looked at her again, carefully. "I never wanted it to be more than that. With you... I want more." He tried to project his sincerity with his remarks, hoping she would understand. She understood, and it frightened her just a little. It wasn't something she was prepared to deal with, certainly not in the chill hours before dawn when she was exhausted from emotions both positive and negative, and when a delicious lethargy was creeping through every muscle and joint in her body. "It's too much to think about right now," she said very softly, reluctantly sliding off him and cuddling close by his side. "I'm very tired, and not thinking clearly. After we've slept... then will be time to talk."