<USS Avalon> The Toast--050108
- From: TKilyle@xxxxxxx
- To: avalon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Sat, 8 Jan 2005 06:07:34 EST
***starring Kaera Ashayu and Li Vilya
Vilya had walked the corridors of the ship for what seemed like hours and
hardly ran into anyone. Of course, there was still only a skeleton crew
aboard.
All that walking, though, had made her a bit hungry. She wondered if the
ship's computer made a good hasperat. Well, if I'm going to eat, I'm going in
civvies, she told herself. She headed back to her cabin to change.
She put on a pair of soft lavender leggings and a darker purple silk tunic.
Her earring glittered brightly against the darker material. Looking herself
over in the mirror, she decided she liked the effect. Both items were gifts
from Ming's parents. His mother said that red would have been a more
auspicious
color but that it would have clashed with Vilya's hair and coloring. Smiling
at that very practical thought, she slipped on a pair of flats and headed for
the main crew mess.
Kaera had replicated candles and set them around her quarters in anticipation
of Cam's promised dinner, but it was still only lunchtime on board and she
was hungry. The thought of eating alone, after having spent the last several
days in his company, was odd. But if she had to eat alone, at least she ought
to do so in the main dining room where there would be others also eating alone.
Glancing at the plain black trousers and tunic she was wearing, she decided
they were suitable for a lunch by herself.
She'd seen the schedule -- it was her business to keep track, of course, for
informational purposes -- and the crew was gradually returning from leave, but
as yet many of them had not reported back. So it wasn't surprising that the
mess hall was nearly deserted. Kaera was so hungry she couldn't decide what
she wanted to eat, so she got herself a mug of tea to placate her growling
stomach while she studied a PADD of new menu selections.
When Vilya entered the dining room, she froze. A Cardassian? On the ship?
The woman was holding a Fleet PADD so Vilya assumed she was, indeed, a member
of the crew. In all her years since leaving Bajor for the Academy and since
teaching at the Academy, she had never seen one so up close. She wasn't sure
how to even think at that moment.
It was easy for the Emissary to tell her she should try to forgive, even if
they had taken her father away from her for ten years. Sure, it was very easy
to forgive in theory. Even Ming said the same thing--forgive--when she
broached the matter with him. Of course, forgiveness was an integral part of
his
faith.
"Haven't you ever heard of the phrase 'easier said than done'?" she'd asked
him.
"Of course I have. You know what I think, though? It is the eventual doing
that makes a person stronger and a better person," he'd replied gently.
Even now, standing in the entry way, she wondered if that was the tone of
voice he used when he spoke to parishioners. It worked, she thought. I'll
try.
She approached the Cardassian woman and, with as genuine a smile as she could
muster, she asked, "Does anything look good today?"
Kaera became peripherally aware of an uncomfortable emotion nearby, but
didn't look up from her PADD. She was accustomed to ignoring other people's
emotions. If she let them all get to her, she'd be a quivering mass of
uselessness
most of the time.
But when footsteps approached her, she had to look up. The Bajoran woman
radiated a mixture of fear -- no, terror -- with barely suppressed loathing and
a
healthy dose of courage and confusion. Kaera could only think that this
woman must have been a victim of the war in ways that, while different from the
way she herself had been victimized, had left her just as much at odds with a
coveted sense of self and inner peace.
"The programmers claim they've finally gotten the replicator to turn out a
good wood-fired white pizza," she replied, her voice softer than usual as she
worked to block all that confusing emotion so that she could think. "It's my
favorite. I first had it when my first-year advisor at the Academy treated six
of us to dinner for excelling in our orientation courses."
Pizza. She'd listened to Ming and his brothers discuss the matter back and
forth for hours then still settle on the same place the family had been going
for years. She felt like a fool, standing there not saying anything but she
didn't know what to say. Her mother and her brother would probably be
horrified
that a live Cardassian was allowed on a Federation starship. She tried to
think of what her father would have said. The Li Nalas she knew as a little
girl and the one she got to rediscover as a teenager, at least for a very short
time, were two different people but she remembered at least one thing he said.
He'd cupped her face in his hand and smiled. "I'm taking the position
because it's time for Bajor to go on, little bit. That might mean making peace
with
our enemies but that is what will be done if it's what's best for Bajor."
And he was gone soon after that. Well, Daddy, I hope you were right. She
sat down across from the Cardassian and brushed her auburn hair back behind her
ears, the earring glittering brightly.
"I'm Li Vilya," she said simply.
No rank, no title. Kaera had to think for a moment, to recall Bajoran
customs and titles from her courses on Federation Protocol, and then decided to
stick with the Terran custom, since it would be neutral for both of them. She
set
the PADD aside and offered her right hand. "My name is Kaera... Kaera
Ashayu. I'm..." she hesitated a moment, but then said it because she really
meant
it, "pleased to meet you, Ms. Li."
She did mean it. It had to be rough for Li Vilya to face all that fear and
hatred, to walk over and talk to her. The other woman had no way of knowing
what Kaera had gone through, or that she'd been only a child through the war,
with no control of her own destiny, let alone what her people had done to or
with others. It was partly why she'd chosen to leave her home world -- to take
control of her own future, and to separate herself from the past over which
she'd had no control. So as she offered her hand to this stranger who must see
her as an enemy, her smile was tentative but genuine.
Vilya was quite familiar with the Earth custom and she accepted Kaera's hand.
Then, for some reason, she found herself smiling. Here they were, two women
from opposite sides of a very long and ugly history and they were settling
for neutral ground. Of course, It also had to do with the title Kaera had just
used.
"Actually nobody but any of my former students ever called me that. My given
name is Vilya. I haven't followed that old Earth custom of taking my
husband's name." Her smile was not quite as enthusiastic as one Ming would
give to a
stranger but it was heartfelt. "I'm pleased to meet you, too. I... I'm
sorry for being so...hesitant..."
"Please...sit down." Impulsively, Kaera picked up the PADD and tapped in
several selections to be delivered to their table before putting it down again.
Her thoughts tumbled over one another and she tried to follow Cam's advice,
just letting the words spill out. "You couldn't know anything about me... I've
scarcely met any Bajorans, just a very few around the Academy... I was only
fourteen at the end of the war..." She probably wasn't making any sense; she
stopped, took a breath, and had to laugh at herself. "I'm sorry. Do you like
redflower tea?"
"I don't think I've ever tried it but I'll try anything once," Vilya said as
she sat across from her. She looked at Kaera curiously. "Were you really
just fourteen? That's how old I was when my father was returned to us. He was
imprisoned for ten years..." She stopped a moment. That was a particularly
touchy subject amongst a lot of Bajorans and only the Prophets knew how
Cardassians viewed the whole incident with Li Nalas. Now might not be a good
time to
bring that up. Abruptly, she switched her train of thought. "I don't mean
this to sound wrong but you are definitely the first Cardassian I have ever
seen
in a Fleet uniform and I've been teaching at the Academy for six years."
She realized she had to sound like a babbling fool but she was nervous. She
wanted to start off on the right foot but it was hard, hard to forget the
hardships and pain. She wished she could treat this woman like any other Fleet
officer and not see what she looked like.
A signal warned them that the food Kaera had ordered was about to materialize
in the marked area at the center of the table. It did, and she poured from
the fresh pot of tea. "It's good plain, but some people like it sweetened. I
hope you don't mind that I picked out some food to share. That's more of a
Terran hospitality thing, but I like it." She was babbling again, and stopped
herself.
"To answer your question -- yes, I was fourteen. I was on a trip with my
school, or I would have been killed along with the rest of my family and
practically everyone else I knew. Our city..." Kaera took a deep breath
before going
on. "Well, it's not there any more." She uncovered one of the dishes and
took some of the assorted hot finger foods onto a plate. "When you're a kid,
even when the war comes to you, it doesn't seem real. Until it takes away
everyone you love."
Vilya sipped the cup of tea and nodded. "No, I don't mind at all. I'm used
to the Terran ways by now," she said then, with a chuckle, she added, "I
married one after all."
She noted which foods Kaera was taking and decided to try them as well. She
was surprised to find herself rather hungrier than she thought. As she
listened to Kaera, she found herself feeling something she'd never thought
she'd
feel--empathy. She knew the feelings the other woman was expressing all too
well.
"I understand that all too well," Vilya said softly. "After the...the
Cardassians captured my father, my mother took us to Jerrado and we lived there
until it was tapped for energy. We lost that home, too. Daddy was returned to
us
when I was fourteen but we only had him a little while longer."
"What happened?" Kaera asked curiously. It was interesting how Vilya's
apparent emotions were changing as they talked. A nice kind of interesting.
"My father was Li Nalas," Vilya began. It was hard to know what outsiders
knew about Bajoran politics. Would anyone, never mind a Cardassian, know who
he
was? "They always called him the hero of Bajor and he ended up dying the
heroic death they all thought he died ten years before. I don't think he was
home more than a month."
She took a deep breath then offered Kaera an apologetic shrug. "I was one of
the lucky ones, though. I had him back for that month and I still have my
mother and brother. I'm sorry that you've lost so much more."
Kaera bowed her head for a moment, shading her eyes closed, before looking up
to face Vilya once more. "Thank you," she said, very softly. "I am sorry
for your loss, as well. Losing family is...very difficult." She picked up her
tea and took a sip. It was getting cold, but she didn't mind. "It's almost
as difficult as losing yourself," she murmured.
She didn't know how long it would last, but at that moment, Vilya didn't see
a Cardassian in front of her. She saw another woman, one who sounded lost and
rather alone. It was an impulse she would have followed through with on any
of the Bajorans or other species she knew and she didn't think twice about it.
One hand gently touched Kaera's. Her brown eyes were warm with sympathy.
"I've come close to it but never actually had that happen. It was rather
frightening," she said softly.
Kaera's hand turned to clasp Vilya's. "Very frightening," she agreed,
deliberately turning her mind away from the pain and focusing on the positive
outcomes in her life. "I was so glad to go into the relocation camp, and
finish my
education...and when I was offered the opportunity to go to Starfleet
Academy..." Her smile conveyed the relief, and the joy she felt at having a
second
chance in life. "Sometimes I still feel lost, and alone," she admitted. "But
I
have so much to be thankful for."
Vilya remembered those feelings herself. She didn't want to add that half
the time she felt them it was because of Cardassians. Instead, she thought
about how she found solace. Unconsciously, she touched her earring, the one
that
used to be her father's.
"I don't think there's anyone who doesn't feel that way sometimes," she
finally said. "We were so isolated on Jerrado but my mother raised us to have
faith in the Prophets and it's helped. Of course, I've also been blessed
enough
to not only meet the Emissary but to actually get to know him." Her nose
crinkled even more as she tried not to smile. Why hadn't she recalled that
she'd
spoken to a Cardassian before without fear? There was always Garak...
Something had changed. Vilya's feelings were suddenly different. Was it her
faith? Did speaking of her faith make her feel that much different, so
suddenly? Kaera blinked a little, and hid the rest of her surprise by taking a
sip
of her now-cold tea. "I don't know anything about your faith, or any faith
really, except what's taught in the Religions Of The Federation course at the
Academy," she admitted. "I admit to some curiosity..."
"I remember that course, too. It was a bit...dry, to put it mildly," Vilya
said with a wry smile. She felt her pagh warm then as she figured out how to
explain something that came as naturally as breathing. "The Prophets renew our
paghs, our spiritual force, from the Celestial Temple. I know there are some
who say that the Prophets who live there are really just higher life
forms--aliens--but that doesn't mean they aren't our Prophets. They've taught
us so
much over the millennia and their teachings are what kept many of us strong
through out the Occupation and the Dominion War."
Vilya paused. She didn't want to point out who the Occupiers were. There
was no point. They both knew and to make it obvious would be cruel. No, she
wanted to keep this positive, to show how warm her faith made her pagh feel.
She smiled and added, "I was fortunate to have known the Emissary before he
left us to be with the Prophets. My father practically died in his arms. I
know they're together now. The earring that I wear was his and our earrings
usually indicate our religious and social status. Military people don't
usually
wear such ornate ones but..." She offered Kaera a shrug. "it connects me to
him and to the Prophets."
Kaera caught herself staring, and stopped. Maybe her time with Cam had
increased her sensitivity to other people. Or maybe Vilya's feelings were
different from those of most people? Somehow, Kaera didn't think either of
those
possibilities would stand alone.
"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to stare," she apologized; and then the next words
slipped out before she could stop herself, "When you speak of the Prophets,
you feel a glow... a warmth...some kind of energy from inside yourself...from
outside yourself..." Kaera stammered to a stop. She stared down at the table
in blushing confusion.
Vilya looked at Kaera curiously. She was Cardassian...it wasn't possible.
Or was it? Ming swore he could sense such things from people with strong
beliefs and his brother said the same thing. Who am I to say that a Cardassian
can't sense such things when Humans can? The Prophets chose who the Prophets
chose and even the Emissary is Human.
"There's no need to apologize," Vilya said quietly. "It sounds to me like
you can sense a person's pagh. The Prophets have blessed you, perhaps in return
for all that you've gone through."
Kaera trembled, and clenched her hands into tight fists to keep from jumping
up and running away. Maybe it was true, maybe some power outside herself had
blessed her -- or cursed her, she thought despondently as she remembered that
there were higher-ups in Starfleet Command who wanted to take her away from
the Avalon and away from the work she loved. "Is that what you call it?" she
asked in a miserable whisper. "It's -- it's not anything I'd ever heard of,
before I left Cardassia. Here, they say I'm an empath."
Vilya felt bad. She meant it as a compliment and it didn't seem to be taken
that way. She didn't want this very fragile peace, this start of friendship,
to go sour. "You know," she said softly, "you may very well be an empath.
I've met them before but not one of them has ever described what you just did.
It isn't for me to say what the Prophets have done--or haven't--but I think
you are blessed. In fact..." She took a small breath, knowing what she was
going to say was true. "I think that I've been blessed for having met you and
not
just because of that gift."
It took a real effort for Kaera to calm herself and look into Vilya's gentle
brown eyes. "Thank you," she said softly, willing herself to be carried along
on the other woman's sense of warmth. It worked. It soothed and relaxed
her, relaxed her enough that she could finally smile and pour both of them
another cup of tea from the thermal pot. She raised her cup between them, in a
silent toast for a long moment, and then broke the silence. "Let us drink to
friendship, and gifts," she offered.
Vilya was glad to see the smile. She lightly touched her cup to Kaera's and
added, "And to the gift of friendship."
Other related posts:
- » <USS Avalon> The Toast--050108
