--- Begin Message ---
- From: "Melissa L. Olive" <molive@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: "Aaron Rochlen" <aaron.rochlen@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>,"Alissa Sherry" <alissa.sherry@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>,"Ben Smith" <ben.smith@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>,"Brian Cohen" <bcohen@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>,"Connie Brownson" <connie.brownson@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>,"Dan Funk" <danfunk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>,"Dan Robinson" <dan.robinson@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>,"Dawn Dokken" <swtdokken@xxxxxxxxxxx>,"Denise and Scott Thomas" <Scottred65@xxxxxxx>,"Gaby Snyder" <gabriellesny@xxxxxxxxxxx>,"Jeannie Wanzek" <JWanzek@xxxxxxx>,"Jeff Sigafoos" <j.sigafoos@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>,"Jenifer Shaw" <jshaw92397@xxxxxx>,"Jude Smithey" <judeclark@xxxxxxxxx>,"Linda Krull" <Linda.Krull@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>,"Mandy Jenkins" <mandyjenkins@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>,"Matt Campbell" <mc1@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>,"Melba Bunch" <MBUNCH@xxxxxxxxx>,"Richard Viktorin" <rv@xxxxxxx>,"Ronnie Schleiss" <dschleiss@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>,"Sandy Hansmann" <shansmann@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>,"Tasha Beretvas" <tasha.beretvas@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>,"Vanessa Green" <vgreen@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Fri, 7 Feb 2003 11:38:34 -0600
Rules For Living in Austin:
1. First, it's pronounced AWS-TUN. It doesn't matter how they say it in
other places.
2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Austin has it's own
set of traffic rules. There's no book about them. All you can do is get
in your car and hope you survive to learn them.
3. All directions start with " Go down Mopac...'cause you don't want to
get on 35."
4. Burnet, Braker, and Lamar have no beginning and no end.
5. It's impossible to go around a block and wind up on the same street
that you started on. The Chamber of Commerce calls this a "scenic drive"
6. The 8:00 am rush hour is from 6:30am to 9:30am. The 5:00pm rush hour
is from 3:30pm to 7:15pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
7. If you actually stop at a yellow light, then you cannot be from
Austin. You may only apply your brakes when the end of a yellow light
and the beginning of the red light create a "burnt-orange" hue
8. If you like being an individual, don't even think of working for
Dell. You'll be branded like a cattle and made to walk all over town
with your "Dell tag" around your neck or clipped on to your belt loop.
98% of the people within a 200 mile radius work for Dell. When someone
says "Michael
Dell", Dell employees are trained to face Round Rock, hit their knees,
put their face to the ground, weep, and rock back and forth.
9. Just remember that Mopac IS Loop 1, Capital of Texas Hwy IS 360, and
183 IS Research, Anderson, Ed Bluestein, Old Bastrop Hwy. 2222 IS
Northland or Allendale or Koenig. Don't try to figure it out. Just
accept it. If you question the intelligence behind this naming
convention, people will
simply tilt their heads to the right and stare at you.
10. If moisture is determined to be rain, not sweat, all traffic must
immediately cease. Ditto for daylight savings time, girl applying
eye-shadow across the street, or a flat tire 3 lanes over. Do not
attempt to access any road after an apocalyptic event like snow or South
X Southwest.
11. Construction on I-35 is a way of life, and a permanent form of
Entertainment. Get used to it!
12. Keep in mind that the sloppily dressed "hippie" in sandals and
earrings is probably the latest IPO millionaire around here.
13. Stay away from the Congress bridge at sundown if you do not like the
thought of being in an Alfred Hitchcock movie.
14. And, yes, we all know that's a man in a teddy and a tiara on
Congress. It's Leslie, and he probably makes more money than you do.
Melissa L. Olive, Ph.D., BCBA
Early Childhood Special Education
The University of Texas at Austin
Dept. of Special Education
1 University Station D5300
Austin, TX 78712
PHONE (512) 475-6585
FAX (512) 232-5686
www.edb.utexas.edu/coe/depts/sped/people/personal%20pages/olive.htm
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