<USS Meridian> =/\= Love Doesn't Die =/\=
- From: HotSheep4U@xxxxxxx
- To: ussmeridian@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Fri, 20 Jan 2006 00:42:52 EST
=/\= Love Doesn't Die =/\=
by The Armstrongs
Caden hadn't been asleep long when the dreams came again. His subconscious
showed him a white light. "Caden," came the soft voice of his sister from the
light. "Caden, I'll watch over him for you," she said.
Meanwhile, in the conscious world, Caden began to talk in his sleep. "No...
Lili, No... I..." he was tossing and turning as he dreamed.
Marnie stirred, putting her arms tightly around him, and was drawn into his
dream. But instead of fighting it, as he was, she approached it with
curiosity.
He continued his restless dreaming, but he could sense his wife there with
him. "Cade," his sister's voice said again. "Caden, listen to me," she said
with more force than she had used before. "You know better than to fight
this."
But Caden bolted awake, ending his portion of the dream. However,
inexplicably, it continued for Marnie. Delilah frowned at the sight of her
brother
fleeing to the waking world. She seemed to sigh at them both. "Marnie, you'll
need to look after my big brother for a while. I know you're hurting. Believe
me, I know how much. But Cade is in bad shape now. Be strong for him and he
will be able to repay it a thousandfold when he is able." She stood there in
the
light and watched and waited to see what Marnie would do now.
"Never will I leave him," Marnie said emphatically, then hesitated. "Zak...
it didn't hurt him, did it?" She didn't think so; he hadn't sounded hurt when
he'd contacted her, there at the end. But she had to ask.
Delilah shook her head. "He was fine, Marnie. You would have been proud of
him. Caden would have, too. And you both should be," she said.
"I am proud of him," she whispered. "It's hard, Lala. I miss him. But I'm
proud of him."
"I know," she said. "But I didn't come to talk to either of you about Zak,"
she said. "I came to talk about Cade." She looked over her shoulder at an
unheard voice. "I can't stay long. "Remind him about Love, Marnie. He can't let
go of that. He's hurting and doesn't remember. Remind him that it doesn't
die," she said. "He'll come back to you once he remembers. And he will help
you.
I promise. She came over to her sister-in-law. She gave her a hug and a kiss.
"For Cade," she said and repeated the gesture. "And for you," she said. "I
have to go now. Take care of each other, Marn. Zak sends his love from This
Side," she said with a sad smile. "I'll watch after him here. But you have to
watch after Caden there."
"Always," Marnie promised. The brightness grew and enveloped her in a sweet
sensation... and then she woke, her arms still wrapped around her husband.
"Oh, Cade..." she murmured.
He opened his eyes and they immediately filled with pain and tears.
"Marnie," he croaked. "I...."
"No, no, no..." she said softly, and laid a finger across his lips. "I love
you, always have and always will." And she wrapped her love around him, warm
and bright.
He broke down further, his body wracked with both physical and psychological
pain. Tears came in great floods down his face. "I'm so scared, Marn." he
sobbed. "I can't let go of him. I don't want to let go of him."
"I don't understand," she said plaintively. "He's Otherside, he's beyond
pain. There's only Love there. Why hurt yourself over that, my love?"
"How else are we to honor what he did? The choice he so bravely made?" he
asked. Part of him wondered if he would be able to make the same choice if he
had to. But after only a moment of thought, he knew he could. "Do you think he
hates us?" he asked.
To Marnie, that was the silliest question of all. "You're not thinking
clearly," she said gently. "We honor him by remembering our brave boy in all
his
best moments, not by giving ourselves pain and wishing we'd gone in his place.
And how could hate even exist in the Presence?"
"We were supposed to protect him. Keep him safe," he said. "We failed him,"
he said as he fought to regain control of himself.
"My love..." Her fingers traced down his shoulder and his back, soothingly.
"We did not fail him. If we'd failed, wouldn't Davey have been Called as well?
They were together. Zak had a job to do, and the Power told him when the
moment arrived. That's nearly as special as having a full-blown Gift..."
Caden shook his head. "I'm sure he thinks otherwise," he said. He sat up in
their bed. "I had a dream," he said.
"Wasn't a dream," Marnie said, turning over and propping herself up on one
elbow.
He turned and looked at his wife. "What do you mean?" he asked.
In reply, she reached out a hand to him, sharing the full memory through
contact. Easier, that way.
He started to shake uncontrollably as he experienced the memory again. "Oh
God," he exclaimed.
"Easy, love," Marnie murmured, reinforcing her words with the touch of her
mind.
"I'm just so angry," he moaned. "It's the only way I can tell that I am
alive," he said. "I feel the anger and know that I am feeling something." He
sat
back and tried to focus. "He was such a good boy. He didn't deserve this," he
said.
She sat up, cross-legged on the bed. "Since when do our People count death a
punishment?" she demanded. "It's as much a privilege as life, isn't it?
What's got into you, Cade?"
He stood up. "I don't know," he said his voice quiet. "I don't want to do
this any more. I don't want to do anything any more. I know I am feeling sorry
for myself, but I don't care," he said. "I feel like someone has reached into
my chest and torn my soul from me. The only thing that matters is keeping you
and Davey safe."
Unconsciously her hand strayed to her slightly rounded belly. "We're with a
fleet for now," she said slowly. "There's bound to be a Sorter on one of these
ships... if nothing else, a Sorter'll be a counselor, and qualified to have
you removed from duty..." She sighed. "But you can't go home to Earth, nor
yet to the New Home, without revealing its location. Where would you go, love?
This is as safe a place as any for us now."
"Not so safe as we once thought," he muttered to himself. "It was never
safe, though, was it?" he asked. "The safety we felt was an illusion. Otherwise
we wouldn't have brought the boys in the first place."
"It's as safe as any place," Marnie repeated. "This is life, Cade. It comes
to us no matter where we are." Inwardly she shook, as she got out of bed and
paced across the room. She hated being so strong and positive when all she
wanted to do was cry herself to sleep and take time to heal.
He could feel the pain within her. "I'm sorry, Love."
"What for?" She had to bite her lip to keep from crying.
"For everything," he said. "Come," he said as he took her hand and led her
back to their bed. "I know you are tired," he told her as they got back to the
bed.
"No tireder than you are," she protested softly.
He nodded. "True, but I don't require the rest you do right now," he said.
"Come," he repeated and turned down the bed for her.
"You do so," said Marnie, in tones that weren't quite threatening. "Besides,
I can't sleep well without you," she cajoled.
"I know," he said. "And I have no intention of staying up," he told her. "I
just thought it would be nice for me to take care of you. Since you've spent
the past two days doing so for me," he said.
She wasn't quite sure what to make of this sudden change in him. But she
knew it wasn't the end of the difficulties. "I'll need to try and contact a
Sorter to be sure Davey's all right, anyway," she murmured as she adjusted the
angle of her pillow.
"We need to contact our folks too," he said. "They should hear it from us.
In the morning," he added softly as he wrapped his arms around his wife. "I
miss him so much already," he whispered.
"Of course you do," his wife soothed. "But we have him in our hearts and in
our memories... love doesn't die..."
Caden nodded remembering that ancient truth. "I still miss him," he
repeated.
"I know," Marnie sighed. Her own heart ached. With her mind, she reached out
for any of their People who might be listening on a nearby ship, Questing to
inquire for a Sorter -- someone who could untangle confused thoughts and
emotions, and help them through this pain.
=/\=
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