[ussbansheec] A Type of Heaven
- From: Korem Jaska <Haku_Mele@xxxxxxxxxx>
- To: ussbansheec@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Fri, 02 Jan 2009 07:51:14 -0500
_A Type of Heaven
_by Adonis Kaartaren & Maria Wagner
/"Every parting is a form of death, as every reunion is a type of
heaven."--Tryon Edwards /
Whenever she was in New York City, Maria enjoyed taking a walk through
Central Park. The natural beauty of the old park always helped her feel
peaceful and connected to God. The fact that it also recalled happy
childhood memories of games with her three siblings and all the other
Xavier kids reaffirmed her decision every time.
Even in the chill autumn air, there were a lot of people in the park,
from chess players to kite flyers, but she certainly didn't expect to
see him. To any other passerby, he would have been the tall, heavy-set
guy on the bench who was watching the ducks and swans on the lake. Her
eyes, though, saw the large dark eyes, the dark hair that looked as
though it had been recently cut quite short, and the mouth, which she
knew was soft and warm. It was a mouth with a wonderful smile but now,
watching him from a short distance, the mouth looked...sad. She hadn't
seen or spoken to since throwing the beer on him, too angry to take any
of the calls he made, instead letting him speak to her father or even
Jubilee.
She looked at him and sighed. He looked sad and lost for whatever
reason. It wasn't in her nature to keep angry feelings and, watching
him, she felt sorry for him. I can be civil, she told herself, and it
would be the good Christian thing to do if I said hello. Steeling
herself inside, she strode forward. He looked up as she approached and
her heart melted. Lieber Gott but he's handsome. "Hello."
Sometimes, a good long walk did more to settle Adonis' emotions than any
amount of meditation ever did. First it was the news from Kestra and
then, when he called his father, his strange reaction to it. Pas had
been oddly angry and relieved or so it seemed. Yes, it was easy to
sense a parent's empathy for a child's pain but Adonis hadn't expected
the anger or anything like the huge mental sigh of relief his father
seemed to give. He'd promised his father he'd be to the house in Rome
soon but he needed to clear his head before he did that. Central Park
was close enough to the last home visit he made and suited his purposes
perfectly. He wandered aimlessly for a while, stopping to watch a chess
match between an old Hasid and a teenaged young man with hair so blond
it was almost white. The odd contrasts in their appearances pleased him
somehow as did the mental feel he got from the both of them. If he'd
been in a better mood, he would have stayed longer in order to enjoy the
vibes. Any time people of such varied backgrounds got along so well, it
always resulted in a good mood for him. He'd walked away, though. He
just wasn't in the mood to be cheered up.
He'd been sitting on his bench for a while, watching the lake but not
seeing it, when he heard the sweet voice he missed so badly. It was
another reminder of how screwed up things in his life were. He had no
control over everything else that had happened but this? This was
completely his fault.
"Hi, Maria," he said with a tentative smile. "It's really good to see you."
She had no idea what to say. She'd never been in such a situation.
This was something other women had experience with, not her. She chose
what seemed to be a safe topic, nodding toward his hair. "You got your
hair cut."
Adonis chuckled weakly then ran a large hand over what used to be neatly
tamed curls. "Yeah, it was time for a change. It got too disheveled
every time I even touched it or the wind blew."
"It's different," she mused, "but I like it. It suits you." She
flushed slightly then as she realized that her opinion on it really
didn't matter.
He saw the blush but didn't acknowledge it. He couldn't, not without
making a fool of himself. He did, however, nod to the open space on the
bench. "Have a seat. Those shoes can't be very comfortable."
"They're fine but I'll sit anyway." Smoothing down her long blue skirt,
she sat, crossing her legs at the ankles. "Jubilee would be very
offended you know. I bought these shopping with her and Jenny."
He nodded, simply enjoying the sound of her voice. He found her even
more beautiful than the last time he'd seen her, her clothing bringing
out the blue in her hair and making the aquamarine in her eyes sparkle.
"Well, then tell her I said they look beautiful on you."
He'd always said sweet, complimentary things to her in the past. This
was no different but his voice was. He sounded just as sad as he
looked. "Thank you," she said softly. If he had been anyone else, she
would have touched him, laid a hand on his. Be sensible, silly girl,
she told herself. You're simply being kind. She rested a small hand on
his larger one, where it rested on his thigh.
Adonis let out a soft breath. That small touch almost undid all of the
iron control he'd kept over his emotions all day. "I miss you, Maria,"
he said quietly, his dark eyes staying on the lake. "I never meant to
hurt you."
"That," she said just as quietly as she stroked his hand, " is the
past. I'm not angry, Adonis, not any more but..." She reached to touch
his cheek. "What's the matter, Adonis? I was watching you before I
came over. I've never seen you look so sad."
He shook his head, reigning in the impulse to run a hand through curls
that were no longer there. "It's been a long day in a bad week. Don't
worry about it. I'm just feeling sorry for myself is all."
"Why?"
"Because I messed up royally with you and, because, at the age of
forty-two, the idea that my parents forty-three year apparent fairy tale
marriage has just been shredded," he said plainly.
"What happened?" she asked simply as she took hold of his hand again and
squeezed gently. "Please. You're hurt."
He knew that if he looked at her then that he'd cry and that was
something he just didn't do. He was the doctor, the one who was
supposed to be in control. Nevertheless, he spoke slowly and carefully,
telling Maria the news that Kestra brought and about his father's
reactions. He had no ides that there were tears on his face until Maria
reached to brush them away. He leaned his cheek into her touch as he
regained the control he valued so highly. Then she hugged him.
"I'm so sorry, Adonis. Whatever else went on, she was your mother," she
said softly as she rested her chin on his shoulder. It felt strange to
stroke his hair when it was so short but she did it any way, the gesture
soothing for both of them. "Have you spoken to your sisters?"
He shook his head. The very peacefulness of her mind, which was one of
the things he'd liked about her from the beginning, washed over him,
blunting the edges of the anxieties he had. "Artemis has completely cut
herself off from me for some reason and I left word on Betazed for
Mika," he told her. "I have been so completely off-kilter since I
talked to my dad. He's acting...odd. That's the only word I can use
that fits. He's alright, I'd've know otherwise, but..."
"But he's not acting like you expected," she offered. "Are you going to
see him?"
"Of course, of course, but he wasn't even home when I reached him. He
was on a portable." Adonis gave a snort of disbelief. "I have to
actually make sure he's home before I head over." He shifted then so he
could look at Maria, her face barely a hair's breadth from his. "This
is why I miss you, Maria. You're so peaceful that I feel better for
having just spoken to you."
At that close a range, she had to look into his eyes. She's always
thought he was handsome. Even Jubilee agreed, after making a face at
his extra twenty or so pounds, he hadn't changed in that respect. She
kissed his cheek softly. "I was so mad at you for a very long time,
Adonis, but I talked to some people. I was holding you to a standard
that's foreign to you and I suppose that it wasn't very fair to you."
"Oh gods, please tell me that it wasn't that Frost woman," he groaned as
he recalled something Kestra said once.
Maria giggled slightly. "Ach, no, not her, you silly man. I won't
embarrass you and tell you who but they also pointed out that you are,
after all, a man and men are pigs, even the good ones."
He couldn't help it. Coming from sweet, gentle Maria, the phrase was so
foreign that it made him laugh. "It was either Jenny or Jubilee," he
said with genuine good cheer.
"Jubilee," she admitted.
He hmmphed softly. "Thought so. Maria, if I apologize to you, do
whatever it is that would make you forgive me, is there any way that
you'd give me a second chance?" he asked, his eyes earnest, as he raised
a hand to brush back a few strands of blue hair from her face.
"You just did. I told you I'm not angry any more," She said softly.
"You're a good, sweet man, Adonis. I've missed you, too."
Strong arms wrapped around Maria as Adonis first lifted her onto his lap
then buried his nose in her hair. "Thank you, Maria," he murmured.
"Thank you. I promise you won't regret it."
She allowed herself to enjoy his embrace, o strong and loving, and the
scent of his skin mixed with something he once said was soap from
Betazed. "I trust you," she said simply, "but you know what?"
"Hmmm?"
"Your hands are cold! Have long have you been sitting here?" she asked,
pulling away slightly so that she could see his face. "Ach, freezing
and you are a doctor! You should know better. Tsk!"
"It wasn't that long," he said with a shrug. "I just wasn't paying
attention."
"Ach, you're a silly man," she exclaimed as she jumped to her feet then
pulled him to his. She looked up at him, noting that he was wearing a
long overcoat and, from what she could see, civilian clothes. What she
saw just under the coat's opening at the base of his throat made her
smile. "You're wearing the sweater I made you."
"My favorite," he admitted even as he flexed his hands to get some
circulation flowing.
"A shame to have cold hands when the heart is so warm," she mused. She
was pleased though. He was wearing something so simple as a handmade
sweater when he could have just as easily put on any number of exotic
alien-made apparel. "Come with me. There's a cart that sells tea back
the way I came. Put your hands in your pockets, too."
Adonis allowed himself to be fussed at, all the while enjoying the
sweetness of her voice and her nature in general. He did as he was
directed then smiled as Maria wrapped her own gloved hands around his
arm. Certainly the hurt and confusion was still there but Maria's
presence made them less sharp and frightening. "You know," he said, as
he was lead along, "I saw the oddest sight before. I would have stopped
to enjoy it but I was in too bad a mood."
"What did you see, dummer Doktor?"
"An old Hasidic gentleman playing chess with a boy who was obviously not
Human. They were so congenial, so ordered. It was nice to see
something that, in a lot of circumstances, could have been oppositional
and ugly but was, instead, very friendly," he explained.
To his surprise, Maria laughed. "Was the boy tall like you?"
"Yeah but obviously in a lot better shape," he said with a
self-deprecating snort.
"Oh stop that! You're lovely to me," Maria told him. "But the boy: he
had long hair? Very blond?"
"I thought it was white but, yes, that would fit. Why?"
"Because you are about to get your day brightened even more, Adonis,"
she told him, "but after you warm up."
~~~~~~~~~~
It fit so good to allow Maria to fuss over him and take care of him,
even if he was quite capable of taking care of himself. Even just her
presence warmed him enough so that, by the time the got to the teacart,
his hands were already warm but he did as she said and sipped at the
tea. They walked together then, him holding the tea with one hand and
the other arm around her shoulders. He had to smile. She of the blue
hair and demure, ladylike manners fit at his side so perfectly. The
only thing that seemed off, that made him curious, was that she kept
looking up at him and shaking her head.
"That's the third time you've done that," he finally said. "What's the
matter?"
"Nothing but..." She stopped their walk toward the chess tables then
disengaged herself from his side. She then reached again to touch his
head. Fingers gently stroked the dark auburn hair, smoothing the
shortened strands. "It makes you look so different," she explained as
she smiled gain. There were no more messy curls. Her fingers trailed
down his cheek. "It suits you, makes your smile stand out."
Adonis let out a soft, shuddering sigh. It felt so good, so right. "It
was done out of sheer laziness, Maria, but if it gets you to keep doing
that then I'm glad." His free hand held hers to his face as he gazed
into her eyes. "Would you do me a favor though?"
"Of course," she said automatically.
He leaned down so that passers by wouldn't overhear. "I am not trying
to embarrass you but please stop doing that for now. I find you more
than attractive and that touch is really turning me on."
He cringed internally as he realized what he'd done. Idiot, he berated
himself, it was something like that that got you in trouble to begin
with. Three things happened then that he didn't expect. Maria blushed
bright red, gave a startled gasp, and then she smacked him playfully on
the chest.
"Ach, Adonis, you are a terrible man," she declared, eyes twinkling
brightly. She stood on the tips of her toes so that she could kiss his
cheek then whisper in his ear. "Would you mind if I did it later then?"
He felt how much effort it took for her to get past her reserve and
embarrassment and how proud she was for having done so. His fear of
rejection was blown away and he grinned broadly. "Yes, yes, and yes,
Maria. Absolutely. Gods but you're wonderful," he said with a bright
laugh. "Whatever you want and whenever you're ready. I'm an idiot who
doesn't deserve such a wonderful woman but I will damn sure try to."
Maria simply hugged him, biting back the thought that, for a doctor, for
the psychiatrist in charge of such an important project, he was very
unsure of himself. "I know you will," she said simply
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