[thebigjewel] The Ice Age Cometh - August 2, 2006
- From: "The Big Jewel" <list@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: <thebigjewel@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Wed, 2 Aug 2006 16:04:30 -0600 (MDT)
Welcome to The Big Jewel where, like Robert Frost, we can't help wondering
whether the world will end in fire or in ice. The truly inconvenient truth
is that we didn't need a would-be horror movie by a former Vice President
to tell us it's hot out there this week. But in the interest of scientific
balance we present a slightly different view on the likely nature of the
Apocalypse. Just between us girls, from what we've tasted of desire, we do
NOT hold with those who favor fire. Bring on the ice!
"The Ice Age Cometh"
By Walter Lynx
For a long time, scientists across the country have noticed that of all
species, white rats are the most likely to end up behind bars; that white
blood cells perform better on standardized tests than red ones; and that
snow, also, has a certain blank, whitewashed quality not unlike Mel
Gibson's initial DUI arrest report. Coincidentally, they've also found
there to be a strong statistical correlation between falling temperatures
and the falling of snow, but up until now there has been no cause for
alarm...
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