Welcome to The Big Jewel, where no matter how many lame sequels are added to the franchise, we will never ever forget our four beloved green heroes, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Neither has our good friend Megan Amram, who insists that the actual number of turtles is five: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles By Megan Amram (Little is known about the fifth Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, Picasso.) MICHELANGELO: Totally rad -- this toxic waste has made us into, like, super-turtles!! PICASSO: Bros, I don't feel so great after all that toxic waste. LEONARDO: I'm stronger than ever and I can easily wield this Japanese sword I just found. How about you, Picasso? What's your special new power? PICASSO: I'm nauseous, and all my hair is falling out... For the full article please visit http://www.thebigjewel.com To unsubscribe from The Big Jewel's Hilarious Weekly Email please send an email with the word UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject line to neilpasricha@xxxxxxxxx