Welcome to The Big Jewel, where if we strain our tiny minds to the utmost, we can almost remember who Donald Rumsfeld is. Of course Jay Dyckman remembers, and with no strain whatsoever: Donald Rumsfeld, Bored and Unable to Get Other Work, Takes a Job as a Teen Advice Columnist By Jay Dyckman Q: I'm a late bloomer and it's really hurting my social life. None of the boys will talk to me! How can I make them bigger? -- Ashley, 13. A: Ashley ?- As you know, you go to junior high with the boobs you have, not the boobs you might want or wish to have at a later time. Now stop complaining and get out there and show everyone that a light, mobile, rapid-response pair of breasts is the best strategy... For the full article please visit http://www.thebigjewel.com To unsubscribe from The Big Jewel's Hilarious Weekly Email please send an email with the word UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject line to neilpasricha@xxxxxxxxx