[SKRIVA] Världens tio äldsta skämt
- From: "ahrvid@xxxxxxxxxxxx" <ahrvid@xxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: skriva@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Tue, 5 Aug 2008 15:51:53 +0200 (CEST)
Från en utländsk lista erfar vi att nedanstående tio bedömts vara världens tio
äldsta skämt.
Och då avses inte "Har ni hört om när två tomater skulle korsa en gata...
Nej, den var GAMMAL!" och liknande. Utan det är tydligen gamla skämt på
riktigt, som man hittat i gamla inskriptioner och källskrifter osv.
De flesta av dem är inte ens roliga, men det kan ju vara kul att veta vad
man tyckte var roligt under antiken...
> The Dave Historical Humour study spent two months trawling the annals
> of history to produce the first report of its kind into the world's
> oldest recorded jokes. We reveal the results:
>
> 1. Something which has never occurred since time immemorial: a young
> woman did not fart in her husband's lap (1900 BC ? 1600 BC Sumerian
> Proverb Collection 1.12-1.13)
>
> 2. How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? You sail a boatload of young
> women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the
> pharaoh to go catch a fish (An abridged version first found in 1600
> BC on the Westcar Papryus)
>
> 3. Three ox drivers from Adab were thirsty: one owned the ox, the
> other owned the cow and the other owned the wagon's load. The owner
> of the ox refused to get water because he feared his ox would be
> eaten by a lion; the owner of the cow refused because he thought his
> cow might wander off into the desert; the owner of the wagon refused
> because he feared his load would be stolen. So they all went. In
> their absence the ox made love to the cow which gave birth to a calf
> which ate the wagon's load. Problem: Who owns the calf?! (1200 BC)
>
> 4. A woman who was blind in one eye has been married to a man for 20
> years. When he found another woman he said to her, "I shall divorce
> you because you are said to be blind in one eye." And she answered
> him: "Have you just discovered that after 20 years of marriage!?"
> (Egyptian circa 1100 BC)
>
> 5. Odysseus tells the Cyclops that his real name is nobody. When
> Odysseus instructs his men to attack the Cyclops, the Cyclops shouts:
> "Help, nobody is attacking me!" No one comes to help. (Homer. The
> Odyssey 800 BC)
>
> 6. Question: What animal walks on four feet in the morning, two at
> noon and three at evening? Answer: Man. He goes on all fours as a
> baby, on two feet as a man and uses a cane in old age (Appears in
> Oedipus Tyrannus and first performed in 429 BC)
>
> 7. Man is even more eager to copulate than a donkey - his purse is
> what restrains him (Egyptian, Ptolemaic Period 304 BC ? 30 BC)
>
> 8. Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who
> bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued he asked: "Was
> your mother at one time in service at the Palace?" "No your
> Highness," he replied, "but my father was." (Credited to the Emporer
> Augustus 63 BC ? 29 AD)
>
> 9. Wishing to teach his donkey not to eat, a pedant did not offer him
> any food. When the donkey died of hunger, he said "I've had a great
> loss. Just when he had learned not to eat, he died." (Dated to the
> Philogelos 4th /5th Century AD)
>
> 10. Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king
> replied: "In silence." (Collected in the Philogelos or
> "Laughter-Lover" the oldest extant jest book and compiled in the
> 4th/5th Century AD)
--Ahrvid
Ps. Men man glömde den enda ordvitsen (!) som finns i Bibeln. Vid ett ställe
säger Jesus (bör det väl ha varit) till en av sina lärljungar ungefär "Ditt
namn är Petrus och på den klippan skall jag bygga min kyrka". Det hör till
saken att namnet "Petrus" betyder ungefär sten eller klippa. Jesus kunde vitsa
han med.
-----
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