[ratpack] Fwd: THE LAWS
- From: humminboid@xxxxxxxxxxx
- To: ratpack <ratpack@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>, John Crosby <unclejohn6969@xxxxxxxxxxx>, heather Baum <wearethebaum2003@xxxxxxxxx>, Joos <brettjennifer1@xxxxxxx>, alex <bloodred_moon@xxxxxxx>, Alex <dahmen3@xxxxxxx>
- Date: Thu, 27 Aug 2009 15:04:21 +0000 (UTC)
THE LAWS
THE LAWS OF ULTIMATE REALITY
& Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and
you'll have to pee..
& Law of Gravity
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
& Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly
proportional to the stupidity of your act.
& Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get
a busy signal and someone always answers.
& Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work
because you had a flat tire, the very next
morning you will have a flat tire.
& Variation Law
If you change traffic lanes, the one you were in will always move faster than
the one you are in now (works every time).
& Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water,
the telephone rings.
& Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are
with someone you don't want to be seen with.
& Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that
a machine won't work, it will.
& Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely
proportional to the reach.
& Law of the Theatre
At any event, the people whose seats are
furthest from the aisle arrive last.
& The Starbucks Law
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot
coffee, your boss will ask you to do
something which will last until the coffee is cold.
& Murphy's Law of Lockers
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
& Law of Physical Surfaces
The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a floor covering
are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
& Brown's Law of Physical Appearance
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
& Wilson 's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
& Doctors' Law
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time
you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay
sick.
& Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don't know
what you are talking about.
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