[projectaon] Re: 21votm errata
- From: Jonathan Blake <blake.jon@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: Project Aon List <projectaon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Fri, 20 Mar 2009 12:47:50 -0700
On Wed, Mar 18, 2009 at 8:26 PM, Jonathan Blake <blake.jon@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
> More another day.
(er) 56, 83, 117, 190, 213, 221, 233, 236, 243, 272: backpack -> Backpack
(er) 56: well-founded -> well founded [??]
agreed
(er) 57, 85, 312: segments which -> segments, which [SD: long sentence]
OK as-is. A reader may need to breath in the middle of a sentence, but
that's not how commas are used in more formal writing.
(er) 57, 85, 312: doorway and fill the -> doorway and fills the
(subject of 'fill' must be 'it'; the 'large segments' themselves
didn't fill the room with dust) [LM]
I see where this is coming from. The segments of the statue could fill
the room with dust as well as the statue as a whole could. The
sentence reads like like it's wrong when the suggested change is made.
I vote for leaving as-is.
(er) 62: [Remove all - symbols from list]
I actually prefer it this way. Compare 151.
(er) 63, 340: isles of Cape Kabar -> isles off Cape Kabar (cf. ref.
93) [LM]
agreed
(er) 73, 275: reads: KHOR-100 MILES / BISUTAN-225 MILES. To the south
it reads: KONESHI PASS TO BISUTAN-125 MILES. -> ? reads: 'KHOR-100
MILES / BISUTAN-225 MILES'. To the south it reads: 'KONESHI PASS TO
BISUTAN-125 MILES'. [LM]
I would go further:
~~~~
reads, 'Khor-100 miles / Bisutan-225 miles'. To the south it reads,
'Koneshi Pass to Bisutan-125 miles'.
~~~~
And note that those should be dashes, not hyphens. :)
(er) 74: ‘That's him,’ shouts -> ‘That's him!’ shouts [LM]
agreed
(er) 77: south gates -> South Gate [SO: cf. Books 9, 14, 18, 19, 23, and
27]
OK as-is
(er) 82: the crowd erupt -> the crowd erupts [LM]
agreed (also for 268)
(er) 98, 104, 137, 213, 262, 349: Huntmastery you -> Huntmastery, you
agreed
--
Jon
~~~~~~
Manage your subscription at //www.freelists.org/list/projectaon
Other related posts:
