FORMER MISS UNIVERSE STARTS SERIAL GUNFIGHT
Rifle City, Kansas
April 23 2007
A former Miss Universe, and member of the Rifle City PTA, was taken to
Charlton Heston Memorial Clinic in nearby Pottstown, this afternoon,
after she was shot and wounded by Clement Gastroc, a cousin of Flloyd
Knott, who had his truck tires shot out by the now famous
'pistol-toting granny' Trudy Love Frisbee, when he stopped in front of
her house to ask directions to a nearby rabbit farm, on Friday.
'No old bitch with a cheap pistol's gonna shoot up ma tires,' said
Gastroc, whose truck had been borrowed by his cousin. 'Shoot one of
our kinfolk and we Gastrocs take it personal,' he told reporters.
'Shoot ma truck and you better start sayin' your prayers mighty fast.'
Gastroc spoke from his bed at the Heston clinic after he was wounded
in the shoulder by Skete Parmenter, a nephew of Frisbee's, who was
visiting his aunt at the time. Parmenter himself suffered 'flesh
wounds' when Benny Fishpacker, a passerby, fired his .22 caliber
'varmint rifle' at him, in the belief that Parmenter was the man who
had been stealing nightcrawlers from his front yard. 'He looked
suspicious to me, that's all I can say,' said Fishpacker, who was in
serious but stable condition at the clinic, after having been shot by
Clara Tass, a native of Ridleyburg. 'I thought it was terrorists,'
said Tass. 'There was lots of 'em and they were shootin' everybody in
sight.' Tass said that she didn't blame Hank Dewlap, a friend of
Fishpacker's who shot her in the thigh with his Russian replica MS22-4
machine pistol. 'Looks like a mighty sweet gun,' she told authorities,
'and that Mr. Dewlap, he seems like a real nice fella.' Dewlap said,
'I just got excited, I guess.'
A spokesperson from the Bullfrog County sheriff's department dismissed
the shootings as 'just some folks havin' a little fun.' Andy Kvalheim,
president of the Ridleyburg chapter of Folks for Fish and Freedom,
told a reporter from the Louisville Courier-Journal that people were
entitled 'to do what they pleased without some Big Brother snoopin'
around. It's a free country,' he said. 'Guns don't kill people;
reporters kill people.'
[compiled from Reuters, Fox News, The Daily Worker, and the Nome
Register-Periscope]
Seth Huntley
Mutton College
Sheepskin, Nebraska
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