[jimkitchenchat] blind people are faking it!
- From: "Jim Kitchen" <jim@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: jimkitchenchat@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Thu, 23 Jun 2011 05:47:11 -0400
Blind People Are Faking It!
Citizens, hear us well. Our great nation is being undermined by a secret
society of individuals who carry deadly white truncheons and lead vicious attack
animals in public on a daily basis. These mysterious folk also have a secret
means of communication, while shocking new evidence seems to indicate that
they may even possess senses superior to those of other humans. We're speaking,
of course, of the legions of the so-called blind.
Let's assume for a minute that we swallow this "blindness" hoax in the first
place. If these people are somehow bereft of the gift of sight, how does that
explain the works of Stevie Wonder, Ray Charles and Ronnie Milsap? How could
such men possibly play music if they were blind? What do they take us
for-ignorant
saps?
The first issue I must point out is their very public display of armed might.
Every individual laying claim to sightlessness carries a cudgel on their person
at all times. These "canes," as they call them, are supposed to help them feel
their way along. They are painted white, almost as if the bearer wished
to remind passersby of its presence, and the weapon's tip is painted a
chillingly suggestive red. Those who have studied the mysterious fighting arts
of
the Orient know that such sticks may be wielded with deadly force by those with skill. In
a surprise attack, strategically placed squads of the "blind"
could quickly overwhelm our police forces.
Their fearsome nature encompasses more than just personal weaponry. Many of the
alleged blind also own large, vicious attack dogs for the supposed purpose
of guidance along city streets. With one word from their scheming masters, these
slavering "guide" dogs could become guided missiles!
Indeed, most of these fearsome beasts are German shepherds, a species of killer
wolf invented by twisted, Fascist dog breeders, which has somehow fallen
into this most suspect faction of the disabled.
The most frightening aspect of this diabolical conspiracy by far is their
ability to communicate with one another unbeknownst to upstanding citizens.
Their
secret code consists of a series of raised dots cunningly arranged into arcane shapes.
Known as "Braille," this demonic alphabet has begun popping up in
places that were doubtlessly chosen for their mundane, everyday outward
appearance: elevators, building directories, automated teller machines and the
like.
This system seems rational enough, and does not attract undue attention. But
think! If the messages on the signs changed suddenly, how would we know? Next
year, next month, next week, maybe even tomorrow, the signs will change from "second
floor" to "STRIKE NOW! STRIKE HARD!" and our nation will be thrown
into the chaos of revolution.
At this juncture, there is no hard evidence that the blind are planning such a
revolution. We hope to have such evidence very soon. But can one group possess
such an overwhelming element of surprise and fail to use it to seize power? And
can their goals be anything but evil?
No, I say! I maintain that true blindness lies in failing to see the threat
where it must obviously lie, and we must be vigilantly wary of the blind menace.
Jim
The bumps on the areolas are braille for suck here.
jim@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
http://www.kitchensinc.net
(440) 286-6920
Chardon Ohio USA
Other related posts:
