Paddy and his partially sighted friend, went into a bar for a pub lunch, his friend looked at the menu behind the bar and said to the barmaid, can I have a quickie, the barmaid gave him a good slap. Paddy said, what did you say to her to make her slap you? he said, I only asked for a quickie. Paddy looked at the menu and said it doesn't say quickie it says quiche.