[guide.chat] In Reply To: [guide.chat] Fw: THAT'S WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED
- From: "Keith Wines" <keith.wines@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: "guide chat" <guide.chat@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Tue, 4 Aug 2009 12:03:32 +0100
-----Original Message-----
From: Margaret Davy - Email Address: margaret.davy@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sent On: 04/08/2009 11:00
Sent To: Keith Wines - Email Address: keith.wines@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: In Reply To: [guide.chat] Fw: THAT'S WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED
Hi Keith,
They were brilliant, it set me up for the day.
thanks Maggie
And many thanks to you for telling me that you have enjoyed this funny one
and all of the rest of them ,this gives me the encouragement to carry on
sending them to everyone ,as I am only trying to put a smile on peoples faces
and lift their hearts a bit in these difficult days ,so my thanks go to all of
you out in the area of the chat line and I do not wish to offend any one out
there.
-----Original Message-----
From: Keith Wines - Email Address: keith.wines@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sent On: 02/08/2009 10:56
Sent To: guide chat - Email Address: guide.chat@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [guide.chat] Fw: THAT'S WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED
Subject: Fw: THAT'S WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED
Subject: Fw: THAT'S WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED
Some of these you may have already seen but they are good just the
same...............S
That's When the Fight Started
My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A
Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, "Do you want to make
love?" "No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She
didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started....
----------------------------------------------------
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our
anniversary?"
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet
appreciation.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she
said.
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
And that's when the fight started....
----------------------------------------------------
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed,
made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.
I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded
to back out into a torrential downpour.
The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into
the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad
all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and
slipped back into bed.
I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a
different anticipation, and whispered,
'The weather out there is terrible.'
My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you
believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'
And that's when the fight started ...
----------------------------------------------------
A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent
babies.
Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise
came from outside.
The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and
yelled at the man 'Holy Crap'
That must be my husband!'
So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked
jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn
bush and to his car as fast as he could go.
A few minutes later he returned and went up to the
bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!'
The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you
running?'
And that's when the fight started.....
----------------------------------------------------
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of
Miller Light for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.
I told her the beer would make her look better at
night than the cold cream.
And that's when the fight started....
----------------------------------------------------
A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom
mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to her
husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near
perfect.'
And that's when the fight started.....
----------------------------------------------------
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for
some reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""
Nah, she can order for herself."
And that's when the fight started...
----------------------------------------------------
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high
school reunion,
and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her
drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I
understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago,
and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' said my wife, 'who would think a person
could go on celebrating that long?'
And t hat's when the fight started...
----------------------------------------------------
After retiring, I went to the Social Security
office to apply for Social Security.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my
driver's license to verify my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my
wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would
have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt.' So I opened
my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof
enough for me'
and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my
experience at the Social Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You
might have gotten disability, too.'
And that's when the fight started...
----------------------------------------------------
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was
flipping channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And that's when the fight started...
----------------------------------------------------
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our
upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0
to 150 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a scale.
And that's when the fight started...
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That was different wasn't it ,did you laugh ? Keith .
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