[guide.chat] Fw: Modern science
- From: "elaine nutley" <e.nutley@xxxxxxx>
- To: "Jane Balmforth" <janieb1958@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Debbie Berkinshaw" <darrenanddebi@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Ann Coleman" <m.acoleman@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Nicola Daley" <n_daly@xxxxxxxxxx>, "Mike Douel" <m.douel@xxxxxxx>, "Claire Evans" <claire@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Marion Foster" <marion331@xxxxxxxxxxx>, "Jenny Furnell" <jenifer.furnell@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Wendy Gentle" <wendygentle@xxxxxxxxxx>, "bob griffiths" <bobgriff@xxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Guide Chat" <guide.chat@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Shirley Springett" <tripleckickerswdc@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Wed, 19 Aug 2009 21:01:56 +0100
>
> One day, in line at the works cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him,
>
> 'My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I'd better see a doctor!'
>
> Listen mate ; don't waste your time down at the surgery, Mike replies.
>
> There's a diagnostic computer at Tesco. Just give it a urine sample
> and the computer will tell you what's wrong, and what to do about it.
> It takes ten seconds and only costs five quid....a lot quicker and
> better than a doctor and you get Clubcard points'.
>
> So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Tesco.
> He deposits five pounds and the computer lights up and asks for the
> urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
>
> Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
> 'You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid
> heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks'.
>
> That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack
> began wondering if the computer could be fooled.
>
> He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples
> from his wife and daughter, and 'pleasured himself' into the mixture
> forgood measure.
>
> Jack hurried back to Tesco, eager to check what would happen.
>
> He deposits five pounds, pours in his concoction, and awaits the
> results with a grin. The computer prints the following:
> 1) Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
>
> =0
> A2) Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
>
> 3) Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
>
> 4) Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
>
> 5) And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never g
> et better
>
> Thank you for shopping at Tesco
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ________________________________________________________________________
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>
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