[guide.chat] Fw A quick trip around NZ

From: "Keith Wines" <keith.wines@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
To: "guide chat" <guide.chat@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Date: Wed, 26 Aug 2009 08:05:59 +0100

 Fw A quick trip around NZ


Subject: FW: A quick trip around NZ



       

             

            Wellington

            The manager of an upmarket restaurant was confused about paying an 
invoice, 

            so he decided to ask his stunning blonde waitress for some 
mathematical help.

             He called her into his office and said, 'You graduated from 
University. I need some help.

             If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take 
off?' 
            The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, 'Everything but 
my earrings.'  

            Rotorua 

            A group of Rotorua friends went pig hunting and paired off in twos 
for the day. 

            That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the 
weight of a

             huge boar. 'Where's Henry?' the others asked. 
            'Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up 
the trail,' the

             successful hunter replied. 
            'You left Henry laying out there and carried the pig?' they 
inquired. 
            'A tough call,' nodded the hunter 'But I figured the locals are not 
going to steal Henry!' 

            Henderson 

            The Community Constable pulled up next a guy who was unloading 
garbage out of his ute into the ditch. 

            The Constable asked, 'Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch?

             Don't you see that sign right over your head'.

             'Yep', he replied. 'That's why I dumpin it here, cause it says:
            'Fine For Dumping Garbage'. 

            Dunedin 

            A senior at Otago was overheard saying... 'When the end of the 
world comes,

             I hope to be in Invercargill..' When asked why, he replied he'd 
rather be in

             Invercargill because everything happens in Invercargill 20 years 
later than

             in the rest of the civilized world. 

            Whangarei 

            The young man from Whangarei came running into the store and said 
to his

             buddy, 'Bro, somebody just stole your ute  from the parking lot!' 
            Bro replied, 'Did you see who it was?' 
            The young man answered, 'I couldn't tell, but I got his licence 
number.' 

            Otara 
            A police patrol pulled over a Subaru station wagon on the Southern 
Motorway.

             The officer asked, 'Got any I. D.?' 
            The driver replied, 'Bout whut?'

            Mt Roskill 
            A man in Mt Roskill had a flat tyre, pulled off on the side of the 
road, and proceeded

             to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. 
            Then he got back in the car to wait. A patrol officer studied the 
scene as he drove by 

            and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the 
fellow what the 

            problem was. 
            The man replied, 'I 'ave a flet tyre.' 
            The officer asked, 'But what's with the flowers?' 
            The man responded, 'When you brek down dey tell you to put flares 
en the front 

            and flares en the back. Hey, it dun't make no sense to me iver.' 
                 
           
                  
           
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

      Click Here View photos of singles in your area

No virus found in this incoming message.
Checked by AVG - www.avg.com 
Version: 8.5.375 / Virus Database: 270.13.18/2243 - Release Date: 07/17/09 
06:08:00

Attachment: imstp_animation_monkey_en_020908.gif
Description: GIF image

[guide.chat] Fw A quick trip around NZ

Other related posts: