[guide.chat] FW: Darwin Awards

From: "Keith Wines" <keith.wines@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
To: "guide chat" <guide.chat@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Date: Fri, 7 Aug 2009 09:13:21 +0100
: FW: Darwin Awards

FWD The Darwin Awards 
Yes, it's that wonderful time of year again when the Darwin Awards are
bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.

    A great reason to believe in natural selection.....

      Here is the glorious winner:

     1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
     during a hold-up in Long Beach , California , would-be robber James
     Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the 
barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
     And now, the honorable mentions:

     2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting
     machine and, after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his
     insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of
     its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also
     lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.
     3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
     during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a
     woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
     4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a
     Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was
     supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not
     wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus
     stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then
     delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff
     that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.
     The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
     5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious
     head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he
     received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying
     to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he
     was hit.

     6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill
     on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash
     drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the
     register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash
     from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The
     total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15. [If someone
     points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]
     7.. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
     that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window,
     grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it
     over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit
     the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor
     store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on
     videotape.
     8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
     grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately,and the
     woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.
     Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put            
him in
     the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of
     the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he
     replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the
     lady I stole the purse from."
     9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
     Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan , at 5 A.M. , flashed a gun, and
     demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't
     open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered
     onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The
     man, frustrated, walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD
     WINNER]
     10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked
     on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police
     arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a
     motor home near sp illed sewage. A police spokesman said that the man
     admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into
     the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of
     the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the
     best laugh he'd ever had.

     In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with friends
     and family... Unless of course one of these individuals by chance is
     a distant relative or long-lost friend. In that case, be glad they
     are distant and hope they remain lost.
   Remember... They walk among us!!!    
Imagine a life without walls.
I hope you all enjoyed this one it came from my carer Tracy ,wasn't it good 
...Keith
[guide.chat] FW: Darwin Awards

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