[bookshare-discuss] feelings of grief or loss
- From: Grandma Cindy <popularplace@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: bookshare-discuss@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Sat, 5 Jan 2008 22:10:08 -0800 (PST)
Sometimes, however, depending on the conditions under
which the parent or loved one dies, and his/her age,
and the beliefs of the bereaved towards death, there
is no grief felt, just a sense of loss and emptiness,
which is not the same thing. When each of my parents
died separately, one at the age of 76 from brain
cancer, and the other at the age of 96, from a variety
of problems, I felt, on the one hand, a sense of
relief for them, that they were no longer suffering.
Because of the length of their respective illnesses, I
had time to adjust to the fact that they were going to
die, so it wasn't sudden. I still felt a loss, and
like I was an orphan, but I did not feel grief, and I
did not want sympathy, because it was not necessary.
So I was really uncomfortable in telling anyone except
close friends who knew the circumstances, because I
didn't want sentiments of extreme sympathy and
understanding for my grief. As a result, I never know
quite what to say to people who experience a loss of a
parent or close friend--I don't want to
oversympathize, but I don't want to appear callous or
say the platitude of "they're out of the suffering,"
or whatever. The loss of a child, I think, is another
situation entirely, no matter the child's age, unless,
perhaps he or she has suffered greatly for a while.
I dream about one or both of my parents fairly
frequently, even after all these years, and of course
I think of them during life events, such as my
daughter's wedding or the birth of what would have
been their greatgrandaughter, or other life events
that I know they would have liked, so I felt fairly
confident in telling Allison or Amber or whoever it
was--I'm afraid I don't remember now--who recently
lost her parent that she would be seeing them again in
this life as well as the next, though in a different
form.
I maybe shouldn't post all this. I don't mean to
criticize anyone at all for anything they've said--I
just want to explain why I was somewhat circumspect in
what I posted to maithe and to expand upon what Ann
said about grief.
G.Cindy
Grief
> is a very private
> and personal thing, and it affects each person
> differently depending on
> the person grieving and for whom they grieve.
>
>
WISH LIST (called Requested Additions To The Bookshare Collection)is available
at
http://people.delphiforums.com/jamiecalton/Book_Requests.htm
http://www.friendsofbookshare.org/
http://studentpages.alma.edu/~07jmyate/book_requests.htm
www.jbrownell.com for miscellaneous and useful threads
____________________________________________________________________________________
Looking for last minute shopping deals?
Find them fast with Yahoo! Search.
http://tools.search.yahoo.com/newsearch/category.php?category=shopping
To unsubscribe from this list, send a blank Email to
bookshare-discuss-request@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Put the word 'unsubscribe' by itself in the Subject line. To get a list of
available commands, put the word 'help' by itself in the subject line.
Other related posts:
