<USS Avalon> "Olive Branch"
- From: CamtheTreknut@xxxxxxx
- To: avalon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Fri, 7 Jul 2006 03:53:57 EDT
Olive Branch
Personal Log, Delaney Scott... Man, it's some time since I've
recorded one of these. Yet, it also seems like just yesterday. I'm a little
surprised with how easily everything's coming back to me, despite my
assurances to
Admiral Ul'tali.
Speaking of which, the moment I realized that Einin was actually my
ship, I knew he had to be in on the game. Mom's telling me that he was a
friend of Dad's... I called down to Leavenworth after taking off, asked him
about
it. Turns out Mom was wrong about Dad's having nothing to do with my going
there. The admiral said Dad pulled some strings back then, too. Said Dad was
worried if anyone knew the truth about me they might try to kill me, and even
though he hated to think of what spending seven years at Leavenworth might do
to me because of how severely restricted life is there, Dad thought it was
the safest place for me to be.
Don't know how I'm supposed to feel about that. Mom and Admiral
Ul'tali both told me that Dad's actions were in my best interests. He got me
sent
to a prison where the only time I didn't have walls around me was if I was
out in the yard. And he somehow, some way, bought me an entire space shuttle
that's about as good as any ship of the Fleet because he knew I wouldn't want
to live in his house if I didn't return to Starfleet, either by choice or
discharge. He did these things, they said, because he loves me.
Here's what I see: When we got back to Earth after leaving DS9, OPC
and Starfleet Command ruled that because of his part in covering up my
origins, he had to face discipline one way or another. But because he had
otherwise
been an exemplary officer of the Fleet, they gave him the option of early
retirement over facing a court-martial---and he took the early retirement. Did
I get that choice? Quit or this goes to trial? No. I mean, he took the easy
way out, and I ended up spending more than six years in prison. If only Dad
had understood, if only he had supported me, Leavenworth would have been New
Zealand to me. I would not have cared one micron about the trial or the prison
sentence if only he had not been so against my need to know. And to top it
all off, he called me insane.
Yeah, I know that's semantics, and he really said the quest itself
was insane, but I don't care about the psychobabble. To me, it's the same
thing.
So how can he say that he loves me, if he only loves half of me? Why
go to all the trouble of sending me to a place he was sure would protect me
and buying me this kick-ass ship if he hates the other half of who I am? It
doesn't make sense.
I can't think of that anymore. Not right now.
I really wish I still had friends to talk to. The ones I had on the
Ireland haven't spoken to me since my trial, and I admit that it makes me
really sad. They know the arrest charges, but they don't know the reason
behind
them. And I couldn't share the information because I'd been ordered to keep
my mouth shut. So they started pulling away even before the cell forcefield
went up for the first time. Now there's no one for me to talk to except Mom
and
counselors.
Friends would be real nice right now. At least one would. I'd love
for someone besides me to be excited about my Little Bird. Yeah, I've given my
ship a nickname that's not really a nickname at all, just the Celtic meaning
of it's given name. And yeah, this ship was one of my dad's ways of trying
to smooth things over between us, and I know I'm gonna have to square with
that some day, but right now I gotta admit I'm jazzed. I mean, I have my very
own Delta-class shuttle! This thing has a hull of tetraburnium alloy,
parametallic hull plating, unimatrix shielding, a compliment of twenty
photonic
missiles and twelve micro quantum torpedoes, and Type-8 phasers that are
usually
only mounted on full-sized starships. I would have thought that when Einin
changed hands Starfleet would have stripped her of all weapons but the
phasers,
taking them down to Type-6's or Type-4's.
Actually makes me glad for whatever influence and/or friends Dad
must still have in Starfleet. Because if I hadn't decided to stay, or they'd
chucked me out, all these weapons and protective elements sure would make me
feel a whole lot safer out in space by myself.
Should I call Dad? Or at least send him a message? I really am
torn---don't know what I should do. I've despised him for almost seven years,
yet
he's done something so wonderful for me, buying Little Bird.
I wish it was as easy to stop hating as it was to start.
*****
Frank Scott sighed heavily, walking away from the window, out of
which he could see shuttlecraft flying too and fro. He often wondered why he
had
stayed in San Francisco, but each time he did he reminded himself that
Marsha still had a career, despite the fallout she'd experienced over Laney.
In
fact, Marsha was still at BioCon---where she'd gone to work after Laney's
trial---toiling away on her latest project. He was eating dinner alone tonight.
After a sandwich and a glass of merlot, Frank headed toward the
bathroom, intending to take a shower. As he walked down the hall he passed the
home office he and Marsha shared, although she used it more than he did. Their
communications terminal was in there, and he stopped short when he saw the
faint flashing of the message waiting light. Curious, he stepped into the room
and turned on the lights, then sat down at the terminal and switched it on.
Curiosity became shock when he saw that the message was from
Laney---and addressed to him. She had not said one word to him since they'd
left the
Changeling homeworld, not even when she found out about his purchase of the
Einin from Starfleet.
Actually nervous now, wary of what Laney might have to say, Frank
opened the message. When her face popped up on the screen, he noted that she
looked virtually the same as she had nearly seven years ago---exactly like her
mother, young and beautiful. But there was an edge to her eyes, a hardness to
the set of her jaw. Whether that was because of spending so much time on the
inside or because she was forcing herself to send this message he couldn't
say. Probably a bit of both.
"Hello, Daddy. I'm sure you're surprised to be getting this
message---quite frankly, I'm surprised I'm sending it. But you and Mother
didn't
raise me to be an ungrateful brat, and I couldn't not acknowledge the fact
that
you are the one who arranged the purchase of Little Bird. Sorry, I guess I
should have said Einin, but already I keep finding myself referring to the
ship
by the meaning of her name, rather than the name itself.
"Anyway, even though for the life of me I cannot fathom how you
convinced Starfleet to part with her and bought this shuttle, I am glad you
did.
Mom was right about one thing---I wouldn't have stayed with you guys had I
not been able to go back to Starfleet, or chosen not to. I honestly don't know
what I would have done, but the Einin would definitely have given me the
freedom to bounce around a bit until I had that figured out. I also don't get
why
Starfleet didn't strip all the weapons out of her, but were I going it solo,
those would surely come in handy. Heck, they still might, because I don't
doubt that my new CO will want to make use of her.
"Mom wants me to start talking to you. Well, don't get your hopes up
that this message will be the first of many. You know damn well it has
nothing to do with my going to prison---even the prison I went to would have
been
more tolerable had you only had the testicular fortitude to admit that you
were afraid of what I'd become if I were able to join the Link, and that's why
you didn't want me to go to the Changeling homeworld. Well, you knew when you
gave me your name that I wasn't entirely Human, and it isn't as if I can
change being what I am. I won't say I'm proud to be half-Changeling, because
they did attempt a tyrannical overthrow of the entire Alpha Quadrant. But I'm
not going to say I'm ashamed of it, either. Nor am I mentally unstable, or
have
you forgotten calling my quest for the truth "insane"? I am what I am, Dad,
and you're just going to have to accept that.
"Either you love all of me, or you don't love me at all."
When the screen went black, he sat staring at it for what seemed
like hours, the desire for a shower forgotten. Hurt tore at his heart that
quickly became physical pain. His chest ached. She was still so angry. Still
so
unforgiving. The rift between father and daughter had widened, despite his fee
ble attempts to breach the distance. Even had he been able to speak to her,
she would probably not have believed anything he said, the thing he wanted
most
to say being that he was not afraid of her, but afraid for her. Truth was,
he loved Laney very deeply, so much so that had he and Marsha had children
after her, he did not think he could have loved them as much as he did her.
She
was not a child of his blood, but she was forever the child of his heart.
Then suddenly, the pain subsided. Perhaps it would not be the first
of many, but it was the first in over six years.
And that was a start.
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