<USS Avalon> D.A.B.D.A.- Faces Of Angels: Acceptance- Part 5 by Lieutenant Alder Shimbrodus
- From: Anthony Manson <circus_ofde_damned@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: Avalon Sim <avalon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Tue, 18 May 2004 20:35:34 -0700 (PDT)
D.A.B.D.A: Faces Of Angels
Acceptance- Part 5
by Lieutenant Alder Shimbrodus
The wind swept through in a cool breeze as the few of the Shimbrodus family
gathered near a cliff giving a very good view of the Thaspan Sea. The sun
glimmered against the ocean and reflected more than just light; but a peace
that once could almost glance at for all eternity. After I regained my bridle
composure, I contacted Starfleet, letting them know of my decision. Starfleet,
in response, was very quick in getting the funeral preparations in order and
within a few hours of Denevan standard time, they were ready to establish a
direct link with Avalon?s communications system. Being under the care of a
space station certainly had it?s perks, and I was reassured that the link would
have less than half a second delay when in use.
I looked around the open bright view of what is now a resting ground for a
family I could never replace. It is a nice spot, I admit. As a teen, I wasn?t
all too much fond of this place. I preferred the beach, getting into some waves
and what not, and I never knew the fascination that held Matt whenever he urged
me to come along. I finally see it. Amazing how death shows you the most
beautiful things that the living can?t seem to influence you in. I shook my
head as unnoticeably as I could manage. Not now, I can?t blame myself now. Part
of me can. The Shimbrodus owned this particular spot, and I had every
opportunity to see Matt?s point of view. Or even Elana, who was completely
transfixed with the trees that took their homes here. She liked the woods. Some
opportunities you regret, and some you can?t forgive yourself for missing.
Guess which one I?m thinking of.
The ceremony went on at exactly eight this morning. Very early, and when I
looked into the mirror dressed in white I was convinced I couldn?t do this. I
couldn?t step onto the life like grass and look upon the urns that was the
remains of my family. I nearly broke down again, but I didn?t. Must not ruin a
white silk shirt. After all, I cried once and once was enough for me. White, it
seemed appropriate. The last funeral I went to was for my grandmother Gretude.
Before her death, she requested that everyone dress white. To show life and the
joys of it. She half joked she?d come back and tan our hides if she caught one
of us not in white. So I dressed in white, to give a lasting memory to a family
that lived on Deneva, and to remind others that my family wanted to best for us
in life. White, it was definitely appropriate.
The urns on my family were each placed firmly on individual stands that had
peaceful decorations and a picture of each member. I hadn?t asked for them to
be cremated, but I later found out that the will of my parents requested it. I
said nothing. And what of the rest? Henry informed me that he made the
decision. He thought it was only right that they be rested the same way with
our parents. I nodded, I would?ve personally wanted to make the decision, but I
couldn?t with time delays and by the time I knew, the handlers wanted an
answer. It would seem that everyone had no objections- frankly I don?t think
anyone wanted to argue about funeral arrangements.
I was the last to pass them by as the rest of the Shimbrodus family made their
way, placing roses or some sort of personal treasure upon each stand. The first
caught me was my father. The ever easy going but at the same time firm man. His
picture was one of that came from my eighth birthday, but magnified.
The second was my mother, her brilliant and warm smile that for some reason
made anyone smile because she did. Her hair fell loosely around her and
highlighted her fair skin. She had always been a strong woman with a loving
warmth that could keep up your spirits. She was the first to know about my
secret- I suppose you could call it that. How she knew was beyond me, but she
stuck with me, accepting me for who I am, not what I appear to be.
Jake, the oldest of us and maybe the only one that had it the hardest before
Elana- since he was the first and the oldest. He was always a competitive
person. And he was the only one that constantly dolt on about how tough he had
it and how to do work ?this? out, or do? that? in a particular way. We always
thought he never had a sense of humor, but funny how he ambushed us with enough
water balloons to fill a small pool. It was probably the best memory I had for
him. As for being a competitive person...
Elana was always right behind him. There was a rivalry between them but it
wasn?t in a bad way. It was just strange. I smiled as I looked down at Elana?s
picture and felt a sharp pain. She was the next strong female in the family. I
never did like it whenever she was put in charge of us and I always managed to
pull a joke on her at the worst of times. She had dirty blond hair, a hint of
light makeup, and she looked splendid. I realized it was a picture in one of
those formal dinners after she got married. I wasn?t there, but Matt filled me
in.
The sudden though of my identical other moved me and my eyes shifted quickly
from the urn to his picture, Matt. Oh, if anyone knew me more it was Matt,
short of my mother. My other persona. I hated the fact that he was gone, and it
seemed as if I was more keenly aware of his lost in this world than the others.
I can?t explain it, but once I realized it, I hated it. I still do. Like
phantom pains, as if when you lose your left arm and you have this urge to
scratch that arm that no longer is there.
Finally Alexia, who gave a smile that you thought was almost identical to my
mother?s. She usually was the happy go lucky without a worry in the world. As
if she knew that she had all the time and every second passed she would put
good use to it. No regret, no doubt. She had taken life for its worth, the life
to everything. God, I already wish she was here.
I swallowed my emotions and fought back against crying as tears blurred my
vision and trailed down slowly. I realize also- again- I wish I was with them.
Going wherever they were at. Being with them. Nothing would make me feel more
at peace than knowing I was with my family right now. Instead, here I am.
Standing before those that passed, that looked directly back at me with the
glimmer of the sun penetrating my eyes. I looked to my right where the rest of
the Shimbrodus family grouped. All dressed in black and looking with eyes of
sympathy that I had no wish to have. It would seem I was the only one in white
other than Anthony who among them looked like a candle brightly lit against the
dark.
I didn?t want him to come to the funeral. He insisted, but he didn?t push. It?s
as if he understood how death was. He stood there-as the ocean winds blew past
sending a chill up my back- like a quiet pillar of strength that I never saw
before. It was as if at this bad time, he came out with more integrity that I
could have imagined. Here I was the one fraught with emotion, and there he
stood like an anchor of calmness, harboring my sanity before it was all lost.
I placed a rose on the plaque that was dedicated to them. It was white marble
so impressively bright it hurt to look directly at it. But I did, noticing the
dark grey print that was engraved into it. It was a simple note that gave peace
to a happy family that met a tragic end.
"Rest in peace. I love you all," I whispered and stepped out of the way.
?//\\?
There was a gathering after close to the resting place. Everyone using soft
voices and conversing quietly as the wind swept through more frequently and
they held slender glasses of clear wine. Children that were brought along had
long since forgotten the purpose of this and placed by themselves relatively
safe from intruding the gathering, began playing. They don?t know, I said to
myself, they will face it on their own later in life. I after all, saw my
grandmother die when I was twelve, and even younger when I saw my grandfather
pass away. Anthony was talking with someone else as I walked away from the main
gathering and went back to my family. I read the plaque a little more carefully
this time. It was a good message that showed family pride as well.
It read:
"Your journeys through life has fulfilled your destinies and your heart?s
desire. Your determination and devotion to brave this frontier to achieve your
goals and strive for the best gave a family a stronger bond that is forged by
you all. A new journey awaits you all, and no one could be more prouder than
the Shimbrodus family. Always remembered."
I looked at it and instinctively ran my fingers upon the cool surface of the
marble. My vision began to blur as a the back of my eyes began to heat up; and
the back of my head starting to lose all sense of being stoic, poise, and calm.
"I wish I could have met them."
I turned around without registering the voice. I thought I was the only one
here. Apparently wrong as Anthony quietly stood there. His quietness conveyed
everything through his grey eyes that said he didn?t want to say more; he
didn?t want to see me cry. I smiled lightly, wiping off the tears that were
already beginning to dry by the sun?s heat. Some strong person I turned out to
be, and here I said I wouldn?t cry. "You would have loved them." I turned
around looking a the marble engraving. I sighed, "I?m all alone now. No one to
come home to."
He closed in the distance between us as he wrapped me around his arms and
whispered, "you?re not alone. You?re never alone."
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