<USS Avalon> D.A.B.D.A.- Faces Of Angels: Acceptance- Part 5 by Lieutenant Alder Shimbrodus

D.A.B.D.A: Faces Of Angels

Acceptance- Part 5

by Lieutenant Alder Shimbrodus

The wind swept through in a cool breeze as the few of the Shimbrodus family 
gathered near a cliff giving a very good view of the Thaspan Sea. The sun 
glimmered against the ocean and reflected more than just light; but a peace 
that once could almost glance at for all eternity. After I regained my bridle 
composure, I contacted Starfleet, letting them know of my decision. Starfleet, 
in response, was very quick in getting the funeral preparations in order and 
within a few hours of Denevan standard time, they were ready to establish a 
direct link with Avalon?s communications system. Being under the care of a 
space station certainly had it?s perks, and I was reassured that the link would 
have less than half a second delay when in use.

I looked around the open bright view of what is now a resting ground for a 
family I could never replace. It is a nice spot, I admit. As a teen, I wasn?t 
all too much fond of this place. I preferred the beach, getting into some waves 
and what not, and I never knew the fascination that held Matt whenever he urged 
me to come along. I finally see it. Amazing how death shows you the most 
beautiful things that the living can?t seem to influence you in. I shook my 
head as unnoticeably as I could manage. Not now, I can?t blame myself now. Part 
of me can. The Shimbrodus owned this particular spot, and I had every 
opportunity to see Matt?s point of view. Or even Elana, who was completely 
transfixed with the trees that took their homes here. She liked the woods. Some 
opportunities you regret, and some you can?t forgive yourself for missing. 
Guess which one I?m thinking of. 

The ceremony went on at exactly eight this morning. Very early, and when I 
looked into the mirror dressed in white I was convinced I couldn?t do this. I 
couldn?t step onto the life like grass and look upon the urns that was the 
remains of my family. I nearly broke down again, but I didn?t. Must not ruin a 
white silk shirt. After all, I cried once and once was enough for me. White, it 
seemed appropriate. The last funeral I went to was for my grandmother Gretude. 
Before her death, she requested that everyone dress white. To show life and the 
joys of it. She half joked she?d come back and tan our hides if she caught one 
of us not in white. So I dressed in white, to give a lasting memory to a family 
that lived on Deneva, and to remind others that my family wanted to best for us 
in life. White, it was definitely appropriate.

The urns on my family were each placed firmly on individual stands that had 
peaceful decorations and a picture of each member. I hadn?t asked for them to 
be cremated, but I later found out that the will of my parents requested it. I 
said nothing. And what of the rest? Henry informed me that he made the 
decision. He thought it was only right that they be rested the same way with 
our parents. I nodded, I would?ve personally wanted to make the decision, but I 
couldn?t with time delays and by the time I knew, the handlers wanted an 
answer. It would seem that everyone had no objections- frankly I don?t think 
anyone wanted to argue about funeral arrangements.

I was the last to pass them by as the rest of the Shimbrodus family made their 
way, placing roses or some sort of personal treasure upon each stand. The first 
caught me was my father. The ever easy going but at the same time firm man. His 
picture was one of that came from my eighth birthday, but magnified. 

The second was my mother, her brilliant and warm smile that for some reason 
made anyone smile because she did. Her hair fell loosely around her and 
highlighted her fair skin. She had always been a strong woman with a loving 
warmth that could keep up your spirits. She was the first to know about my 
secret- I suppose you could call it that. How she knew was beyond me, but she 
stuck with me, accepting me for who I am, not what I appear to be.

Jake, the oldest of us and maybe the only one that had it the hardest before 
Elana- since he was the first and the oldest. He was always a competitive 
person. And he was the only one that constantly dolt on about how tough he had 
it and how to do work ?this? out, or do? that? in a particular way. We always 
thought he never had a sense of humor, but funny how he ambushed us with enough 
water balloons to fill a small pool. It was probably the best memory I had for 
him. As for being a competitive person...

Elana was always right behind him. There was a rivalry between them but it 
wasn?t in a bad way. It was just strange. I smiled as I looked down at Elana?s 
picture and felt a sharp pain. She was the next strong female in the family. I 
never did like it whenever she was put in charge of us and I always managed to 
pull a joke on her at the worst of times. She had dirty blond hair, a hint of 
light makeup, and she looked splendid. I realized it was a picture in one of 
those formal dinners after she got married. I wasn?t there, but Matt filled me 
in.

The sudden though of my identical other moved me and my eyes shifted quickly 
from the urn to his picture, Matt. Oh, if anyone knew me more it was Matt, 
short of my mother. My other persona. I hated the fact that he was gone, and it 
seemed as if I was more keenly aware of his lost in this world than the others. 
I can?t explain it, but once I realized it, I hated it. I still do. Like 
phantom pains, as if when you lose your left arm and you have this urge to 
scratch that arm that no longer is there. 

Finally Alexia, who gave a smile that you thought was almost identical to my 
mother?s. She usually was the happy go lucky without a worry in the world. As 
if she knew that she had all the time and every second passed she would put 
good use to it. No regret, no doubt. She had taken life for its worth, the life 
to everything. God, I already wish she was here.

I swallowed my emotions and fought back against crying as tears blurred my 
vision and trailed down slowly. I realize also- again- I wish I was with them. 
Going wherever they were at. Being with them. Nothing would make me feel more 
at peace than knowing I was with my family right now. Instead, here I am. 
Standing before those that passed, that looked directly back at me with the 
glimmer of the sun penetrating my eyes. I looked to my right where the rest of 
the Shimbrodus family grouped. All dressed in black and looking with eyes of 
sympathy that I had no wish to have. It would seem I was the only one in white 
other than Anthony who among them looked like a candle brightly lit against the 
dark. 

I didn?t want him to come to the funeral. He insisted, but he didn?t push. It?s 
as if he understood how death was. He stood there-as the ocean winds blew past 
sending a chill up my back- like a quiet pillar of strength that I never saw 
before. It was as if at this bad time, he came out with more integrity that I 
could have imagined. Here I was the one fraught with emotion, and there he 
stood like an anchor of calmness, harboring my sanity before it was all lost. 

I placed a rose on the plaque that was dedicated to them. It was white marble 
so impressively bright it hurt to look directly at it. But I did, noticing the 
dark grey print that was engraved into it. It was a simple note that gave peace 
to a happy family that met a tragic end. 

"Rest in peace. I love you all," I whispered and stepped out of the way.

?//\\? 

There was a gathering after close to the resting place. Everyone using soft 
voices and conversing quietly as the wind swept through more frequently and 
they held slender glasses of clear wine. Children that were brought along had 
long since forgotten the purpose of this and placed by themselves relatively 
safe from intruding the gathering, began playing. They don?t know, I said to 
myself, they will face it on their own later in life. I after all, saw my 
grandmother die when I was twelve, and even younger when I saw my grandfather 
pass away. Anthony was talking with someone else as I walked away from the main 
gathering and went back to my family. I read the plaque a little more carefully 
this time. It was a good message that showed family pride as well.

It read:

"Your journeys through life has fulfilled your destinies and your heart?s 
desire. Your determination and devotion to brave this frontier to achieve your 
goals and strive for the best gave a family a stronger bond that is forged by 
you all. A new journey awaits you all, and no one could be more prouder than 
the Shimbrodus family. Always remembered."

I looked at it and instinctively ran my fingers upon the cool surface of the 
marble. My vision began to blur as a the back of my eyes began to heat up; and 
the back of my head starting to lose all sense of being stoic, poise, and calm. 

"I wish I could have met them."

I turned around without registering the voice. I thought I was the only one 
here. Apparently wrong as Anthony quietly stood there. His quietness conveyed 
everything through his grey eyes that said he didn?t want to say more; he 
didn?t want to see me cry. I smiled lightly, wiping off the tears that were 
already beginning to dry by the sun?s heat. Some strong person I turned out to 
be, and here I said I wouldn?t cry. "You would have loved them." I turned 
around looking a the marble engraving. I sighed, "I?m all alone now. No one to 
come home to."

He closed in the distance between us as he wrapped me around his arms and 
whispered, "you?re not alone. You?re never alone."


                
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