<USS Avalon> D.A.B.D.A. Alone In The Dark: Denial- Part 1 by Lieutenant Alder Shimbrodus
- From: Anthony Manson <circus_ofde_damned@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: Avalon Sim <avalon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Thu, 13 May 2004 15:56:52 -0700 (PDT)
D.A.B.D.A: Alone In The Dark
Denial- Part 1
by Lieutenant Alder Shimbrodus
Three days ago was the last time I saw Anthony. Three days ago, life was great.
Life was full of smiles. It was just wonderful, you know? How could it not have
been. Being promoted, celebrating with Anthony. We were even planned to go down
earth after he suggested we see his sister, Kristy. In those short time with
him, I had fun. Everything seemed to go on, and memories of our shared time
together flowed through like water. The best times were with my partner.
Something like my half- I felt like I belonged there with him. Three days ago,
I was genuinely happy.
No, he?s not dead. By the heavens, if he was dead too, I wouldn?t be here right
now. Half of a world has already been destroyed, my other half is all I have
left. Three days ago, I shut everything out- including him. A lot of me is on
the fact of denial, of no belief, and the shock that still reverberates
throughout my spine, and bounced around my head that refused to soak in the
cold harshness of it all.
I haven?t seen him in three days, I canceled our trip to earth and hid in my
quarters even since. I?ve withdrawn without so much as a word to him; and he?s
given the space- though I know he doesn?t like it or even understands it. How
do I tell him? I don?t know, I can only hope that I am able to cope with this
without him for the time. Three days, closing to four, and it still felt like
that night had never passed; feeling trapped within my own memory.
I was on duty, taking the night shift to cover the usual Conn officer.
Michaelson was sick, so I?d been told; and I volunteered. Two nights prior was
great, and I was full of energy. Two night prior had seen me without sleep. I
was happy, I was full of energy. I was in love. And watching Anthony sleep had
never made me feel so peaceful. In any event, I volunteered, it was only going
to be one shift.
I?ve forgotten how slow the night shift can be. Everything was quiet and the
only signs of life was Phillipa, three other officers, a few other crewmen, and
myself. All was quiet and I was hoping to at least strike some sort of
conversation to pass the time. The only companions keeping me from going bored
out of my mind was the incessant bleeping of the consoles- and a cup of hot
coffee. During that time Phillipa called me over as she told me I had a
subspace message from Starfleet. I turned from my station as she was located at
the Ops console. Nodding to another crew men, I went over to the station.
Phillipa moved over to another console to ensure I had some privacy. It wasn?t
much- but it wold do. I accessed the message, giving them my code and all that
stuff. Why would Starfleet call? And why me?
I hope it wasn?t some reassignment- I really hope not. If I was, I wanted
Anthony to come with me. Nothing meant more to me than him at my side.
The message loaded, and it appeared to be Henry. He was my cousin that lived on
earth, but visited Deneva often. Spending most of his summer time with us when
we were little kids, Henry had formed a strong relationship with my family.
Although we all came from the same bloodline, some of us don?t really see eye
to eye. Henry was not one of those, neither was his family. He?s a decent man,
working- last I heard- for a diplomatic core with the Bolian Embassy and his
wife, Selena owned several shops in California. He had two kids- John and
Kathryn.
The voice level was low, but audible enough that the moment I heard him, I knew
he was under a great deal of strain. Not only that, but his face showed the
strain of emotions that made the mood all the more clear of his message. It was
bad news
"Alder...I," he sniffed a little as he took a breath right after. Recollecting
some control from his ordeal, he managed, "Alder...David, Alicia...Jake...all
of them...Alder I?m so sorry they?ve... passed." He sighed as he looked
elsewhere to find some sort of strength and quickly trying to regain his
composure. I in turn just stood there as the recording played on. It didn?t
register, and it seemed as if half of myself was convinced that this was some
big fat joke. Pranksters with the main suspects being Matt and Henry.
"The Shimbrodus family- those who can make it- are on their way to Deneva right
now. All transports purchased by the Shimbrodus family will be here within a
three weeks or so...maybe less. I know you can?t be there, as a few others...
duty beckons.
"Alder I?m so sorry. By the time you get this, I?m already on Deneva. As well
as everybody that could make it here. Starfleet has agreed to handle any
transactions you might have. Starfleet informed me that this message might take
even up to a week and a half since you?re so far..." He quickly sighed and
thought of something that ended the recording pretty abruptly, "You know the
family Alder, our arms are always open. I await to hear from you."
That was the end of the message. I checked the message?s date. Nearly a week
old. It...it made sense, Deneva was one of the farthest colonies in the
Federation. I looked around, eyes wide, and a shivering cold that encompassed
my entire body. Instinctively, my hand went to the console surface, trying not
to falter. Phillipa turned to see if the message was done or something, because
she then asked, "Alder, you alright?"
I swallowed what I was going to say; what I wanted to say. I closed my eyes
since it began to unexpectedly burn, like the light displays were the source of
this sensation. "Would you mind taking over Conn if he," referring to the
crewmen that was at the station, "...if he happens to get off. I...I have some
things to attend to." I turned to look at Phillipa who simply nodded. She
looked worried, but didn?t ask. I turned and left. Reality suddenly looked
stark and sharp all in one, and it felt like I was falling, falling into an
endless black pit.
"Are you sure you?re alright?" She asked putting more emphasis on her concern.
I simply nodded, trying not to succumb to my already emotional state. That was
too quick, it felt too quick, too sudden to ever imagine. And I felt confusion
settle in.
Three days ago, I found out that my family was gone. Slipped away in an
instant. Half my world was gone right there. I made no messages, I was just
frozen, shocked and very much paralyzed. Correction, I am still frozen. My
parents- who loved me unconditionally to whatever path I took. My brothers and
sisters who for a long time were my only friends when there wasn?t one. All
gone.
I looked out the window from my quarters, and I felt all alone now. The family
may be big. But when it comes to my immediate, I am all alone. I have no family
to come home to and tell my stories and share my space experiences. No siblings
to go camping with out in the mountains. Not one person to confide my trust.
I am alone...I can?t be alone...
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