<USS Avalon> D.A.B.D.A. Alone In The Dark: Denial- Part 1 by Lieutenant Alder Shimbrodus

D.A.B.D.A: Alone In The Dark 

Denial- Part 1

by Lieutenant Alder Shimbrodus

Three days ago was the last time I saw Anthony. Three days ago, life was great. 
Life was full of smiles. It was just wonderful, you know? How could it not have 
been. Being promoted, celebrating with Anthony. We were even planned to go down 
earth after he suggested we see his sister, Kristy. In those short time with 
him, I had fun. Everything seemed to go on, and memories of our shared time 
together flowed through like water. The best times were with my partner. 
Something like my half- I felt like I belonged there with him. Three days ago, 
I was genuinely happy. 

No, he?s not dead. By the heavens, if he was dead too, I wouldn?t be here right 
now. Half of a world has already been destroyed, my other half is all I have 
left. Three days ago, I shut everything out- including him. A lot of me is on 
the fact of denial, of no belief, and the shock that still reverberates 
throughout my spine, and bounced around my head that refused to soak in the 
cold harshness of it all. 

I haven?t seen him in three days, I canceled our trip to earth and hid in my 
quarters even since. I?ve withdrawn without so much as a word to him; and he?s 
given the space- though I know he doesn?t like it or even understands it. How 
do I tell him? I don?t know, I can only hope that I am able to cope with this 
without him for the time. Three days, closing to four, and it still felt like 
that night had never passed; feeling trapped within my own memory.

I was on duty, taking the night shift to cover the usual Conn officer. 
Michaelson was sick, so I?d been told; and I volunteered. Two nights prior was 
great, and I was full of energy. Two night prior had seen me without sleep. I 
was happy, I was full of energy. I was in love. And watching Anthony sleep had 
never made me feel so peaceful. In any event, I volunteered, it was only going 
to be one shift.

I?ve forgotten how slow the night shift can be. Everything was quiet and the 
only signs of life was Phillipa, three other officers, a few other crewmen, and 
myself. All was quiet and I was hoping to at least strike some sort of 
conversation to pass the time. The only companions keeping me from going bored 
out of my mind was the incessant bleeping of the consoles- and a cup of hot 
coffee. During that time Phillipa called me over as she told me I had a 
subspace message from Starfleet. I turned from my station as she was located at 
the Ops console. Nodding to another crew men, I went over to the station. 
Phillipa moved over to another console to ensure I had some privacy. It wasn?t 
much- but it wold do. I accessed the message, giving them my code and all that 
stuff. Why would Starfleet call? And why me?

I hope it wasn?t some reassignment- I really hope not. If I was, I wanted 
Anthony to come with me. Nothing meant more to me than him at my side.

The message loaded, and it appeared to be Henry. He was my cousin that lived on 
earth, but visited Deneva often. Spending most of his summer time with us when 
we were little kids, Henry had formed a strong relationship with my family. 
Although we all came from the same bloodline, some of us don?t really see eye 
to eye. Henry was not one of those, neither was his family. He?s a decent man, 
working- last I heard- for a diplomatic core with the Bolian Embassy and his 
wife, Selena owned several shops in California. He had two kids- John and 
Kathryn. 

The voice level was low, but audible enough that the moment I heard him, I knew 
he was under a great deal of strain. Not only that, but his face showed the 
strain of emotions that made the mood all the more clear of his message. It was 
bad news

"Alder...I," he sniffed a little as he took a breath right after. Recollecting 
some control from his ordeal, he managed, "Alder...David, Alicia...Jake...all 
of them...Alder I?m so sorry they?ve... passed." He sighed as he looked 
elsewhere to find some sort of strength and quickly trying to regain his 
composure. I in turn just stood there as the recording played on. It didn?t 
register, and it seemed as if half of myself was convinced that this was some 
big fat joke. Pranksters with the main suspects being Matt and Henry. 

"The Shimbrodus family- those who can make it- are on their way to Deneva right 
now. All transports purchased by the Shimbrodus family will be here within a 
three weeks or so...maybe less. I know you can?t be there, as a few others... 
duty beckons.

"Alder I?m so sorry. By the time you get this, I?m already on Deneva. As well 
as everybody that could make it here. Starfleet has agreed to handle any 
transactions you might have. Starfleet informed me that this message might take 
even up to a week and a half since you?re so far..." He quickly sighed and 
thought of something that ended the recording pretty abruptly, "You know the 
family Alder, our arms are always open. I await to hear from you."

That was the end of the message. I checked the message?s date. Nearly a week 
old. It...it made sense, Deneva was one of the farthest colonies in the 
Federation. I looked around, eyes wide, and a shivering cold that encompassed 
my entire body. Instinctively, my hand went to the console surface, trying not 
to falter. Phillipa turned to see if the message was done or something, because 
she then asked, "Alder, you alright?"

I swallowed what I was going to say; what I wanted to say. I closed my eyes 
since it began to unexpectedly burn, like the light displays were the source of 
this sensation. "Would you mind taking over Conn if he," referring to the 
crewmen that was at the station, "...if he happens to get off. I...I have some 
things to attend to." I turned to look at Phillipa who simply nodded. She 
looked worried, but didn?t ask. I turned and left. Reality suddenly looked 
stark and sharp all in one, and it felt like I was falling, falling into an 
endless black pit.

"Are you sure you?re alright?" She asked putting more emphasis on her concern. 
I simply nodded, trying not to succumb to my already emotional state. That was 
too quick, it felt too quick, too sudden to ever imagine. And I felt confusion 
settle in.

Three days ago, I found out that my family was gone. Slipped away in an 
instant. Half my world was gone right there. I made no messages, I was just 
frozen, shocked and very much paralyzed. Correction, I am still frozen. My 
parents- who loved me unconditionally to whatever path I took. My brothers and 
sisters who for a long time were my only friends when there wasn?t one. All 
gone. 

I looked out the window from my quarters, and I felt all alone now. The family 
may be big. But when it comes to my immediate, I am all alone. I have no family 
to come home to and tell my stories and share my space experiences. No siblings 
to go camping with out in the mountains. Not one person to confide my trust.

I am alone...I can?t be alone...


                
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