<USS Avalon> "A Friend Divided"
- From: Lyryn Cate <wistful_fancy@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: avalon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Sat, 19 Feb 2005 21:06:32 -0800 (PST)
A Friend Divided
By Commander Skyler
and Senior Lieutenant Elissabeth Marksbury
Skyler had heard about the mission and the death of one of Lissi's team members
and thought that perhaps she could use a visit from a friend. She got up and
left her quarters and made her way to sickbay to see an old friend. As she
walked the halls she remembered how Lissi or Lyryn had helped her, but she also
recalled the last time they had talked and Lyryn had made it very clear that
she was off bounds. This bothered Skyler as she knew there was a division
occurring between her two personalities and she needed to learn how to deal
with them or somehow work with them.
She reached sickbay and found Lissi laying on a bio bed with deep dark circles
around her red rimmed eyes. She was definitely upset. All Skyler could do was
try and comfort her if she would allow her to.
"You don't have to stand in the doorway," Lissi said softly, having heard
Skyler come in. She had expected Skyler to be one of the first people to see
her.
Walking over to the bed, she replied, "I wasn't sure you want to see me after
our last talk. So how are you doing?"
"I've been better. But I've also been worse. How are you?"
"I am okay but I didn't come here to talk about me. I came to see you and see
how you were holding up. I understand it was a difficult mission. I am sorry
for your loss as well." Skyler sat on the stool next to her bed and gently
placed her hand on Lissi's. "Remember, you helped me so I am here to help you
if you want or to just talk."
"I'm okay, Skyler, really." Moving the bed to sit up, she reclined there
beside her friend. "I mean, granted, I keep lying here running things over and
over in my mind, trying to figure out what went wrong and how we could've
changed things, but honestly, it's not coming to me. We did everything by the
book. Things like this happen." She sighed, beginning to wish she hadn't
voiced all that.
Skyler sat and patiently listened, she remembered a time when she had been in
Lissi's position and several crew members had been lost. It was hard, but with
support she had overcome it and she wanted to be that support for Lissi. "I am
sure you did everything you could. You are a good officer and a strong person.
Things like this come with command. It is something we all have to deal with. I
am here to help you if you want or to just sit with you and listen. I won't do
anything you don't want me to. OK?"
"I understand that, Skyler," a tiny bit of irritation showed in her voice.
"You don't have to baby me, okay?" Pausing a moment, she added, "I'm sorry,
that sounds mean. I appreciate the gesture."
"I am not here to baby you, far from it. You are one of the strongest people I
know and even something as traumatic as the death of someone on your team is
going to be hard."
Skyler and Elissabeth sat in silence for several seconds, seemingly lost in
thought. Out of nowhere, Lissi said quietly, "James and I are no longer seeing
each other."
Skyler didn't say anything for awhile, mainly because she was at a loss for
words. She knew what or rather who she wanted to talk to but that wasn't going
to happen. "I'm sorry to hear about you and James. What happened if you don't
mind me asking?"
"He... betrayed me in a way I least expected. I can't trust him, so that was
that."
Skyler was torn. She wanted to help Lissi but wasn't sure how. She knew she
wanted to talk to Lyryn. "Lissi, I am not going to go into your head but can I
ask you a question?"
"Sure," she sighed.
"I get the feeling that you are torn or confused about something or someone.
Can I talk to Lyryn?" She looked at Lissi not sure what was going to happen.
But she had to try.
"I'm always here," she responded. "May play second to the emotional mess that
is my counterpart, but I'm always here, Skyler."
"Lyryn, it's nice to talk to you. You are not playing second to anyone, nor is
Lissi an emotional mess. You are each a part of each other. So how do you feel
about all that has happened?" Skyler had noted a slight, very subtle change in
Lissi's face when Lyryn spoke.
"It's part of the uniform, Skyler, what am I supposed to think? There's
nothing to delve into, no sub-conscious to counsel... it just is, so let it
be."
"Is that what you really think? I know you have feelings besides the
cold-hearted person you want everyone to see."
"Skyler, no offense, but I'm not in the right frame of mind to play 'ring
around the roses' with you. Can we table the counseling session for some other
time?"
Skyler raised her hands in the air. "Fine, we can do it your way, but the
longer you wait, the harder it is going to be. Besides, if as you say it is
part of the uniform what is the harm in talking about it?"
"You need to calm down," she said in that classic, dead-pan style of hers.
"I am doing just fine. I am concerned about you and Lissi that's all. If you
don't want to talk then go back in your corner and hide and let me talk to
Lissi."
She smirked slightly. "That's funny, Skyler. You make it sound like some sort
of switch you turn on and off. I'm always the same person... just different
memories and feelings on one side as opposed to the other. Same coin, if that
makes sense."
Skyler noticed the change in Lissi's face and knew that Lyryn was hiding again.
"So how do you feel about James now, Lissi, and what can I do to help?"
She looked her in the eyes and admitted, "I think I loved him... but it's over.
It hurts, but I'll live. It just proved myself right... I shouldn't have
gotten that close to begin with."
"Why do you say you shouldn't have gotten that close? You were just following
your feelings and there is nothing wrong with that. Quit knocking yourself down
or I know a certain teddy bear that is good for beating people." She smiled at
her friend, hoping to get at least a slight grin in return.
Giving the lop-sided grin half-heartedly, she answered, "Because I didn't need
the distraction then, and I don't need the pain of a breakup distracting me
now. But it does."
"You may not need the distraction of a break up now, but you do need a
distraction. Sitting or lying around wondering what you did or shouldn't have
done isn't going to do anyone any good. I have a holo program that I am sure
will take your mind off your problems if you are interested."
"Skyler, I'm a little stuck. Captain's orders. Doctor's orders. And every
single person I've seen yet, including my sub-ordinates', orders."
"Well, I do have some pull around here even though it might now look like it. I
will be right back." Skyler left the room and went in search of Dr. Cazook.
Once she found her she had a talk with the good Doc and those damnable
bifocals. When she returned she had a grin on her face and just sat down next
to Lissi.
"Smirking like the cat who got the cream."
"Who me?"
"No, the crazy XO behind you."
Skyler looked around, "I don't see anyone so you must be talking about me.
Can't deny it. It's true. So get off your duff and let's go."
Lissi looked at her with furrowed brow, "Skyler, I don't think you
understand... I'm not lying her just because I was ordered to." She looked
down for a moment, loathe to admit it, "I'm lying here because I do good to
walk anywhere. I'm so tired. I despise it, but it's true."
"I realize you are tired, exhausted, and feeling sorry for yourself, but
wouldn't you rather do it somewhere besides a sterile sickbay?"
"Okay, first of all, I am tired - physically and emotionally drained. Secondly
- I am not feeling sorry for myself. By all rights, I should not even be
feeling as well as I do, but - " she caught her stupid thought about Tel before
it could slip out of her mouth. She really was tired. "But I'm doing this
well and I don't wanna mess it up by running around the holodeck. I appreciate
your intent Skyler, but can I take a rain-check?"
Skyler looked a little disappointed, but it was up to Lissi and she had made
her choice. "I suppose a rain check is acceptable. However, I didn't plan on
doing any running around on the holodeck. It was more of a place to relax and
deal with things in a more inviting and comfortable place. I just don't want to
see you running away from things like I was. I want to help as you helped me. I
know that is going to require some work due to your stubbornness."
"With all due respect to you, Skyler, I'm not you, and I look at things a
little differently. I really don't need help with anything."
Skyler was a little taken back by her words. They did sting whether she meant
them to or not. Standing up, Skyler walked toward the door. "Well, when you
feel that you need a friend or want someone to talk to, you know where I will
be. That goes for both of you."
Skyler headed out of the door of sickbay with more questions than she had when
she entered. But Lissi had made her decision. There was nothing Skyler could do
to change it and she had promised to stay out of her head.
Elissabeth sighed and knew she'd somehow hurt Skyler's feelings. She didn't
want to, she cared a great deal for Skyler, but Skyler also didn't understand
her position on things, either. Not that it was Skyler's fault... too many
years and too many memories had stunted her abilities to express herself
completely. Elissabeth felt like she was being open and sharing by telling her
about James, but if it wasn't enough, then it would just have to be that way.
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