[adeel420] Company party
- From: LTC <mshaqeel@xxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: adeel420@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Mon, 16 Dec 2002 19:28:43 +0000 (GMT)
DECEMBER 1ST
TO ALL EMPLOYEES:
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas
Party will take place on December 23rd at Luigi's Open
Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of spiced eggnog
and a small band playing traditional carols ... feel
free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO
shows up dressed up as Santa Claus to light
the Christmas tree! Exchange of gifts among employees
can be done at that time; however, no gift should be
over $10.
Merry Christmas to you and your family,
Patty Lewis
Human Resources Director
December 2nd
To: All employees:
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our
Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an
important holiday that often coincides with Christmas
(though unfortunately not this year). However, from
now on we're calling it our "holiday party." The same
policy applies to employees who are celebrating
Kwanzaa at this time. There will be no Christmas tree
and no Christmas carols sung.
Happy holidays to you all,
Patty Lewis
Human Resources Director
December 3rd
TO; ALL EMPLOYEES:
Regarding the anonymous note I received from a member
of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking
table. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but,
don't forget, if I put a sign on the table that reads,
"AA only" you won't be anonymous anymore. In addition,
forget about the gifts exchange -- no gifts
will be allowed since the union members feel that $10
is too much money.
Patty Lewis
Human Researchers Director
December 7th
TO: all EMPLOYEES
I've arranged for members if Overeaters Anonymous to
sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant
women closest to the restroom. Gays are allowed to
sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with
the gay men; each will have their own table. Yes,
there will be a flower arrangement for the gay
men's table. happy now?
Patty Lewis
Human Racehorses Director
December 9th:
TO; ALL EMPLOYEES
People, people -- nothing sinister was intended by
wanting our CEO to play Santa Claus! Even if the
anagram of "Santa" does happen to be "Satan," there
is no evil connotation to our own "little man in a red
suit."
December 10th
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
Vegetarions~ I've had it with you people!! We're going
to hold this party at Luigi's Open Pit whether you
like it or not. You can just sit farthest from
the "grill of death" as you put it, and you'll get
salad bar only, including hydrophobic tomatoes. But
you know, tomatoes have feelings too. They scream
when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm
hearing them right now... Ha!
I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drive drunk and
die, you hear me?
The Bitch from Hell
December 14th:
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES:
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis
a speedy recovery from her stress-related illness.
I'll continue to forward your cards to her at the
sanitarium. In the meantime, management has decided to
cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the
afternoon off with full pay.
Terri Bishop
Acting Human Resources Director
=====
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Everything you'll ever need on one web page
from News and Sport to Email and Music Charts
http://uk.my.yahoo.com
Other related posts:
- » [adeel420] Company party
