“Rough Winds”
by Lieutenant Sara Crusher
and Lieutenant JG Cyanah Kaelyre
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer’s lease hath all to short a date.
Sonnet 18, William Shakespeare
There was a soft natural lull in the room, the beginning of a calming
vibe that was desperately needed. The mission was quickly wearing thin
on everyone’s nerves. There was only so much a crew could take of
sneaky Starfleet Intel officers, secret radioactive underground
bunkers, and just flat out fatigue. The stress didn’t seem to stop at
being just professional either, or at least not for Sara, and she had a
feeling that it was the same for Cyanah. It seemed like months since
they’d first gotten engaged and they were no closer to getting Sorcha
off their backs then they were to setting a date.
Sara sighed softly as she poured two glasses of wine. She couldn’t
seem to shake the uneasy feeling she’d gotten from the meeting with
DeHann, and then to top it off she’d come home to a rather nasty
message from her grandmother. She smiled just a little as she thought
about sending her grandmother brochures for decrepit retirement homes
in the hopes that she’d get the idea. Sara sighed again as she picked
up the glasses and tried her best to hide how tired she was with a warm
smile. She walked over to the couch and handed one of the glasses to
Cyanah before sitting next to her.
"So tell me more about your brush with command," she said as she
snuggled into Cyanah’s side.
“Oh, it wasn’t much… I didn’t even realize that I was the ranking
officer there for a while.” Cyanah sipped at the wine and continued, “I
just wanted to make sure you and the Commander made it home safely, so
I took charge of the situation to make sure that happened.” She leaned
over and gave Sara a short kiss on the lips. “But mainly you.”
Reaching up, Sara smiled as she began to comb her fingers though
Cyanah‘s hair. The wine and the warmth from being so close to Cyanah
had started to take some of her edge off. "Well, it’s nice to know I
have such a cute guardian angel watching over me."
“You give me a lot of incentive to watch over you, and I know that
you’ll do the same for me. After all, you already have several times.”
They shared a memory of the Cardassian situation long ago, where Cyanah
had been shot in the arm, arrested, and imprisoned because a
doppleganger Morrigan had assassinated the Cardassian legate. “And
that’s just one incident.”
Sara frowned a little as she remembered that trip to Cardassia; it had
been the catalyst for a whole slue of events. The captain’s injuries,
her own returning memories, the time on Earth she and Cyanah had spent
apart… Sara took a long drink form her glass as she remembered those
particular memories.
Despite everything, and even though they had dealt with what had
happened, and even despite the fact that Cyanah was wearing her ring,
those memories always made Sara feel a little unsure and jealous. Sara
twisted her position on the couch a little and then leaned in and out
of the blue kissed Cyanah fully on the month.
The sudden kiss surprised Cyanah, but she quickly lost herself in it as
she closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around her lover’s back. Once
the kiss ended, they stared into each other’s eyes for a few long
moments. “That was a pleasant surprise,” Cyanah said with a mischievous
grin. She reached out and found her wine, then took a long sip, the
warmth of the alcohol spreading through her small frame after just the
one glass.
“Oh, you’ll never guess what happened on the bridge,” she began, the
anecdote suddenly coming to the forefront of her memory, “that new
Engineering Ensign, Everett, was flirting with me. It took me a bit to
realize it as he has an odd manner about him, but he definitely was
flirting!”
For some odd reason Sara didn’t seem to think that was as funny as
Cyanah had. "He openly flirted with you on the bridge?" Sara sat back
as she took a sip from her glass, then shook her head. "It’s not very
good form to flirt with a superior officer while on duty, especially if
your under her command at time," Sara’s voice then lowered to almost a
whisper as she finished with, "and when she’s very engaged."
“Well, I flashed my ring when I actually realized he was flirting, but
he didn’t seem to notice or didn’t know what it was or something. I’m
used to turning down men who don’t know I’m Delosian, or don’t know
anything about my culture. I had to learn as soon as I arrived on Earth
for the Academy.” She smiled, hoping Sara would reciprocate.
Sara only sighed in response. "Maybe I should have gotten you something
more traditional? A diamond. A really big one." Sara looked down at the
sapphire on Cyanah’s left hand and then shook her head. "No, that has
meaning. I would have never found anything more perfect." Finally Sara
smiled, "I’ll just go borrow a staple gun and staple one of our
engagement announcements to his forehead."
Happy to see Sara smile, Cyanah ran her thumb over the engagement ring.
“This is the best engagement ring you could have possibly gotten me.
But don’t be so hard on the poor boy. I mean, can you really blame him
for trying?” She struck her best model pose, which ended up looking
goofy since she’d never tried to model anything, but grinned anyway.
"You have a point. I guess having to deal with drooling ensigns comes
along with having the prettiest girl on the ship as my girl." Sara
smiled as she propped her elbow up on the couch and rested her head on
her hand. "I mean, it’s not like it was Rhi or anyone like that."
Cyanah did her best to block images of her past sexual encounters with
the Captain from her mind and smiled to outwardly hide the thoughts.
“Yes, that’s true. But you’re wrong about one thing… I have the
prettiest girl on the ship as my girl.” She grinned and hoped the
disgustingly syrupy comment would move the conversation away from
Rhiannon Morrigan.
Sara looked at Cyanah oddly for a moment. Out of the two of them,
Cyanah was not the one known for being sappy; that was Sara’s
department. Cyanah was the deep one. It only took Sara a moment more to
replay the last few minutes of their conversation before she caught on
to why she’d just felt Cyanah pushing something away.
Sara smiled faintly before standing up and walking her empty glass over
to the small dining table on the other side of the room. "Are you
always going to do that when I say her name?" she asked as she picked
dead leaves off the plant in the center of the table.
“Do what?” Cyanah hoped to feign innocence long enough to change the
subject.
"Think about the two of you and then push it away like it’s something
to hide from me." Sara said as she moved on to picking off healthy
leaves just to give her a reason not to turn around.
“I’m sorry… I guess I’m still not used to having a partner that can
read my thoughts. Please quit killing that plant and come back over
here.”
Sara stopped picking the plant apart and turned around, but she stayed
by the table. "I can turn it off like I did before if you want, but
that still doesn’t tell me if you’re going to be thinking about someone
I think of as a sister every time she’s mentioned `cause she happens to
be one of your old lovers. What’s going to be on your mind when you see
her at our wedding?"
This was taking a turn for the worse, so Cyanah flipped into damage
control mode. “I don’t think about her that way every time I see her,
or every time she’s mentioned. It was just the context of this time,
when we were talking about flirting. And of course I don’t want you to
turn the link off, I just need to learn to keep my private thoughts to
myself a little better. Sometimes I forget since I’m not normally
telepathic and this isn’t second nature to me.”
"We’ve been together a long time, Cyanah. It’s not like it’s new, and
it‘ll just be stronger after the bonding at the wedding." Again Sara’s
voice dropped to a whisper. "If we every get around to having one that
is."
“I need to be taught more of the techniques you know, but we never get
time… and we’ll get our wedding if we can just get past Sorcha!” The
frustration of fighting Sara’s grandmother had grated on them both, and
Cyanah was grateful to vent a bit. “I don’t understand her!”
Sara kept herself from looking surprised at Cyanah‘s sudden shape tone.
"What?! And it’s my fault we don’t have time do much lately!? Do you
see me walking around in a tacky red uniform barking out orders!?” She
sighed and shook her had as she crossed her arms across her chest,
leaned against the table, and crossed her legs at the ankles.
"And as far as my grandmother. She’s trying to give her only
granddaughter the wedding she thinks I deserve. Granted it’s not what I
want. But I said I’d handle it, didn’t I?"
“Meanwhile, we don’t even have a date yet. It’s so frustrating, Sara!”
"Don’t you think I know that!?" Sara shouted a little louder then she
meant to. She threw one arm down so it crossed her stomach, while
lifting the one so she could pinch away the headache she was getting
between her eyes. "And you can’t blame my grandmother for us not having
a date set!"
“You don’t think we’d already have a date if we didn’t have to fight
with her over every little tiny aspect of our wedding? I think we
would.” Cyanah placed the empty wineglass that she’d been holding on
the coffee table and studied her fingernails for a long moment. Sara
could sense that she had something that needed to be let out, and bit
back her reply. “It almost seems like it’s never going to happen at
this rate! We may be fighting with her a year from now over the font on
the invitations!”
Every little ouch that Sara’s body had relaxed while she was on the
couch now gave way. She could feel the muscles in shoulders knot as she
presses her palms into the edge of the table. She kept asking herself
if they were really having a fight over this stuff and then realized
they really were.
“No we won’t! We picked Edwardian Script and that’s what we’ll use.
Forget her and her stupid Lucida Calligraphy. I said I would handle my
grandmother and make sure we got to use our own plans, Cyanah. I don’t
plan on giving in to her! I thought you trusted me on this?"
“It would be easier if you’d stand up to her! In person and not just to
me when she can’t hear you!”
Sara opened and closed her mouth several times. She wasn’t sure how to
replay to that. Finally she just huffed.
Silence took over the room, settling in like a wet blanket. Cyanah
resumed the study of her fingernails, and for a good five minutes, no
words were spoken, just pointed sighs and huffs pierced the air.
Finally, Cy broke and emotion cascaded like water from a shattered dam.
“Shcha, Sara! Just tell her that it’s our shchaeh
wedding and that she’ll have no part in the planning! Shchaeh
stand up to her and TELL HER because all the shchaeh
complaining we do about her ISN’T WORKING, SO SHCHAEH DO
SOMETHING ABOUT IT!”
"Like what, Cyanah!? What do you want me to freakin’ do?!" Sara asked
as she kicked at the chair leg. "I’ve stopped reading her messages,
which got me a rather nasty note from her. I’ve asked and asked her to
back off! She’s not someone who backs off easily!" Sara started pacing
the length of the room as she muttered under breath. She refused to
look over at her fiancée because she didn’t want Cyanah to see the
tears in her eyes.
“STOP ASKING HER! SHCHAEH TELL HER!” Cyanah yelled as she stood
and bolted out into the corridor, making a beeline for her own
quarters. Fortunately for her, they still had separate quarters even
though every night was spent together in one bed or the other. She
could feel Sara’s surprise in her mind and quickly erected her mental
wall to block the link between them, grateful that she had least been
successful in learning to do that.
The doors to her quarters parted almost fearfully as Cyanah barged
through them. She paced around the room in a huff for a few moments,
but as the anger started to subside, it gave way to guilt and sorrow.
She had never even raised her voice to Sara before and suddenly, she
felt terrible about it. Rather than going back to Sara’s quarters and
apologizing, though, she did the only logical thing she could think to
do right then; go into her bedroom, collapse onto the bed in a teary
sobbing mess, and cry herself to sleep.
Sara stopped suddenly and watched as Cyanah stormed out of the room.
She stood there looking at the cold grey doors with her eyes and mouth
wide open. She’d hadn’t expected her to just up and leave. Sara closed
her eyes and tried reaching out to her lover, but instead of finding
the familiar softness of Cyanah’s thoughts, she found herself smacking
into a mental shield. Cyanah had cut her off. Slowly, and in shock,
Sara lowered herself to the floor in front of her couch, her eyes never
leaving the doors as tears rolled down her cheeks.
Sara sat there a while longer, just staring at the door; they’d never
fought like that before. Finally after losing feeling in her legs, and
realizing that no matter how hard she tried she wasn’t going to will
Cyanah to walk though the door, Sara got up and numbly walked into her
room and went to bed.
