I thank you all for your condolences, but truly, I am just very tired of trying. I spent every last penny I had on Zan. I can barely pay for my apartment, I've been living off Mac and Cheese and Soup, I've barely been able to make my car payments. I really didn't care, because I had Zan. I could finally show. It doesn't matter anymore. I have tried, and tried, and tried, and all I've done, is fail. None of my dogs have turned out for conformation, and this is the worse loss by far. My mother has offered to buy me a new show dog when I was ready, and I just can't accept that offer. It breaks my heart, because I very badly want to show, but she's in debt hock over head, and she just can't afford it. I can't afford it. I just can't stand to try and buy another $1200 dog or puppy, and have it not turn out. I've had it. - Jackie ============================================================================ POST is Copyrighted 2005. All material remains the property of the original author and of GSD Communication, Inc. NO REPRODUCTIONS or FORWARDS of any kind are permitted without prior permission of the original author AND of the Showgsd-l Management. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ALL PERSONS ARE ON NOTICE THAT THE FORWARDING, REPRODUCTION OR USE IN ANY MANNER OF ANY MATERIAL WHICH APPEARS ON SHOWGSD-L WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF ALL PARTIES TO THE POST AND THE LIST MANAGEMENT IS EXPRESSLY FORBIDDEN, AND IS A VIOLATION OF LAW. VIOLATORS OF THIS PROHIBITION WILL BE PROSECUTED. For assistance, please contact the List Management at admin@xxxxxxxxxxxx VISIT OUR WEBSITE - http://www.showgsd.org ============================================================================