[ SHOWGSD-L ] Fred & Wilma finally show at the National
- From: Barbara Galasso <uwish@xxxxxxxxxx>
- To: Showgsd-l@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Mon, 14 Nov 2005 15:57:01 -0500
"You better hurry up in that bathroom Wilma or we'll be late for the
first class". "Plus, I want to stop downstairs in the motel lobby to
pick me up one of those cinnamon donuts and some coffee," he says.
Wilma yells out, "they don't have any cinnamon donuts in this place".
"You're lucky you get the muddy coffee that's left over in the pot from
the night before". "Well what am I suppose to have for my breakfast
then Wilma?", Fred shouts back.. "Go down the hall to one of those
vending machines" she tells him and get yourself a Drakes Ring Ding or
something". "That's a nice way to start my day," he mumbles. "Well
where do you think we're staying, at the Ritz or something?", she
answers him sarcastically. "Okay then" he says, "do you want me to get
you anything?" "No" she yells out from the other side of the bathroom
door". "I'm too nervous to eat". "You know I had to take a couple of
those Metamucil pills last night before I went to bed and they're not
even helping me", she says in disgust. "Okay, you better be ready when
I get back, he threatens. "Just go already, will you, for darn sake",
she replies.
When Fred returns to the room, Wilma is anxiously waiting for his return
so they can get going to the show. "You look nice in that polka dot
peddle pusher set Wilma", Fred says. "How do I look in my new suit that
I bought at K-Mart"?, Fred sheepishly asks. "Oh you look very handsome
Fred",Wilma beams with pride. "Now turn around so I can get a good look
at you, she says. Her pride soon turns to embarrassment as she leads
him over to the mirror and says to him, "you had the nerve to walk down
the hall like that". "What's the matter", he asks. "Take a look at
your self in the full length mirror Fred", she instructs him. "You got
a stream of toilet tissue hanging out of the back of your pants". "I
tell you Fred, you will be the death of me yet with all the
mortification you put me through", she yells. Just then Fred gets a
"light bulb moment" and says, "now I know why those kids were giggling
when I walked past them" he says. "I just thought they were being fresh
kids", he tells her. "Come on Fred, let's get Koochie and get out of
here because my patience is reaching it's limit with you." "No wonder I
have to sit in the bathroom for hours Fred, and no amount of Metamucil I
ever take is ever going to help me for what you put me through". With
that, Fred mumbles some cuss words to himself that he doesn't dare share
with Wilma.
Finally at the show at last and Wilma kisses Koochie on the forehead and
gives Fred a peck on the cheek and off they go into the ring. "Now
don't forget, don't make a fool of yourself out there Fred, just follow
what the other handlers are doing and listen to what the judge tells you
to do," she tells him. Fred struts Koochie into the ring with pride.
His dog is twice the size and weight of any of the others. "They don't
stand a chance next to you my boy", he says to himself. "Look at all
those ribs sticking out on those dogs." "Why you can't see one rib on
Koochie, no sir those 10 cups of food he eats everyday, sure has paid
off", he grins to himself. He's the only one who looks like he's had a
decent meal. "Oh yes, Koochie", Fred says as he fluffs the main of his
coat around his neck, "you got nothing to worry about my boy", sticking
his chest out in reassurance.
Now Koochie is in a hugh class and Fred is standing next to the most
famous handler in the breed, Mr. James A. Moocher himself. "Wow, Fred
says to himself, "I'm going to have to strike up a conversation with
this guy and see if I can get some handler tips from him". "So Jim, he
says, "I can call you Jim ,can't I, or would you rather me call you Mr.
Moocher?" Jimmy looks at him and his oversized pet and says politely,
"Jim is just fine". "So Jim, I hear you're the number one man in this
sport, and no one has done more winning in this game than you". "Is
that right Mr. Moocher, er I mean Jim". Jimmy puts his hand on his chin
and tries to hide the grin that wants to escape into an outright fit of
laughter, but decides to play nice with this man who he knows is just
going to be a pain in his posterior. He decides to play with him a
little and says to him, "if I can't answer any of your questions, you
see that guy over there?" Fred turns to look. "Yeah, who's he"? "I've
seen him around a lot also". "Oh that's George Burst Her and that woman
over there is Leslie Dan Of Course." "They're equally qualified to help
you, he says hoping that he doesn't have to take all the responsiblitlty
of dealing with this character himself.
Just then the judge Barbara Fame A Don calls for Fred to bring Koochie
out to the middle of the ring for examination. "Tsk", Fred say's to
himself. "This is the lady whose bred over 90 champions, "well she just
hasn't seen anything like my Koochie yet" he says to himself. Right
about the same time he's thinking this, Mrs. Fame A Don is thinking the
same exact thing. Not in all her years of judging has she ever seen
anything quite like Koochie. She asks Fred to show her the dogs mouth.
Upon examination, she notes four missing teeth, and a slightly overshot
mouth. She takes the dogs head in her hands and notes his round,
protruding yellow eyes. Koochie licks her hand. Fred grins knowing
that just gave him some extra points. "Okay, she tells him, take him
down and back. As he moves away from her, his hocks crisscross and upon
returning he elbows coming out her. "Now take him around the ring for
me please, she says to him. Wilma calls out Koochie's name to double
handle him just like she's seen everyone else do with their dogs. Well
with that Koochie is at a full gallop now, kicking up in the rear, and
high stepping like one of those fine bred horses with the braids in
their mane. "That a boy Koochie, you show em'", Wilma yells out.
Barbara puts her hand to her forehead and calls her ring steward over
and says "do you see what I go through with people and why I like my
turtles and chickens so much"? "Get me an aspirin and a glass of water
will you" she asks him. Jimmy who is watching this from the side lines
can no longer hold his laughter in and the tears roll down his cheeks as
he shakes his head in astonishment. Fred comes up along side of Jimmy
now, and say's, "how'd I do Jim"? Jim decides he needs to talk to Fred
and needs more than just his handling
tips. to be
continued.......... Barbara Galasso
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