[sac-forum] Einstein's Memo
- From: Stan Gorodenski <stan_gorodenski@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: sac-forum@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Wed, 14 Sep 2005 09:44:23 -0800
I read the following in a recent issue of Science under their Letters
section. Science is published by the American Association for the
Advancement of Science. I have my doubts the purported memo by Einstein
is true, but it makes for fun reading.
Einstein's Interoffice Memo?
The following is reputed to have been found in the files of the Swiss
Patent Office.
21 September 1904
TO: Patent Office Headquarters
FROM: Albert Einstein
SUBJECT: Commercial Prospects for My Research
I am responding to your request for more information concerning my
proposed research for the coming year. In particular, you asked me to
describe the prospects for the economic development of Switzerland that
will arise from my current work. You have also asked me to explain my
work and its commercial prospects in terms that are understandable to
the typical Swiss voter.
I am working on three related topics: Brownian motion, the theory of
relativity, and the photoelectric effect. Although the work on all three
is far from complete, I believe that it is not too soon to see great
commercial prospects for Switzerland in at least two of these projects.
Brownian motion is the movement of small particles that float in a
liquid. No one is quite sure why these little fellows jump around so
much, but previous research confirms that their motions are random. My
research is based on the idea that liquids are composed of tiny little
pieces of matter, so small that they cannot be seen by the most powerful
microscope, and that these little beggars are always jumping around.
Occasionally, they bump into the specks floating in the liquid, causing
the specks to jump, too.
The commercial prospects here depend on finding a way to control and
make use of the jumping specks. If my research is successful, we may be
able to create new types of liquids and specks that cause specks to jump
around more frequently and in entertaining ways. If so, bartenders will
be able to sell beer and schnapps with colorful bouncing specks. Maybe
we can find ways to get the specks to sparkle or explode when they are
bumped, in ways that are not damaging to the intestinal track of the
consumer. If I am allowed to patent a device that implements this idea,
I commit to licensing it only to Swiss brewers and distillers, so that
Switzerland can dominate the world market in these products.
The theory of relativity is an attempt to integrate time, distance,
matter, and energy into a unified theory of everything. My progress here
is slow, and so I have decided to leave out gravity for this version. I
am now concentrating on the implications of the fact that light, unlike
other forms of energy, travels at the same speed in all mediums, even a
vacuum. This seems to imply that if several people see the same light,
it will travel in relation to each one at the same speed, even if they
are moving in relation to each other.
The commercial prospects of this work are enormous. If I can prove one
or two more conjectures, the implication will be that it is possible to
grow younger if we just travel fast enough. The implications for the
Swiss travel industry are staggering. If I can use this theory to build
a device for traveling to youthfulness, I will patent it in Switzerland
and grant licenses only to Swiss travel agencies to offer such
excursions to the public.
The photoelectric effect refers to the fact that under some conditions,
one can generate electricity by shining light on matter. My research
pursues some implications of my conjecture that energy, too, is
comprised of little tiny things and that these explain how light is
transformed into electricity.
I have thought long and hard about the commercial implications of this
project, but, sadly, I have not been able to see any. Electricity is
useful for lights and trolleys, but its commercial potential does not
seem particularly great. Moreover, Edison and Westinghouse have been
successfully pursuing other means of producing it rather than shining
lights on certain materials. My initial thought was that one could
manufacture an electric light that would shine on your newspaper as you
walked down the street, but I now realize that for this to work it would
have to be light out anyway. Perhaps I should abandon this project in
favor of the others because its commercial prospects are so dim.
*Roger Noll*
Department of Economics
Stanford University
Stanford, CA 94305, USA
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