[USS Renaissance] "Loss"
- From: "Melanie Redgrave" <melanieredgrave@xxxxxxx>
- To: <renaissance@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Tue, 8 Aug 2006 21:33:14 -0400
"Loss"
Patrick McEntire, N'Ellie Coyne, Nanny Jo
Mac drew a breath and shook his head. He felt as if he'd just been sucker
punched. Josh was dead? He made his way quickly to the nearest console and
keyed in the query, only to find most details still under investigation, yet
one thing certain. His best friend was gone.
Belle. Did she know? He searched out her location to find she'd just left
the station. From her hurried departure and destination her could assume she
knew.
Anna. He couldn't tell her yet. Not when she had so much on her mind
already. Had she already heard? Surely not. She'd have told him if she knew.
She was with the babies now. He'd wait until she came back to tell her.
Babies. Josh's babies. N'Ellie. Did she know? Mac headed toward her cabin,
fighting hard against the scream that rose in his throat. No. This couldn't
be true. Why was he going to tell her this when he knew it couldn't be true?
He rang the chime even as he considered turning away and denying it all. It
couldn't be real. Could it?
With a touch of a frown on her face, Jo went to answer the door. N'Ellie was
acting oddly, but she couldn't explain why. Jo was guessing that N'Ellie
didn't understand her own off set mood anymore then she did. When the doors
parted the blank look on the young man's face didn't help her feeling of
something having gone wrong. "Mr. McEntire?"
Mac found it hard to utter a sound. What was he going to say? "Is N'Ellie
here?" he managed at last, his voice sounding thick in his own ears.
"She's giving Angel her bath." Jo replied as she stepped aside to allow the
young man in. Despite the foul mood N'Ellie had been in after his last
visit, she still knew that he was her friend. She pointed at the bathroom
were N'Ellie and the baby were. "Go right in."
Mac hesitated a moment before stepping past her. He paused in the doorway
and watched as N'Ellie carefully tended her child. Josh's child. He cleared
his throat and fought back tears, looking away as he gathered himself before
trying to speak.
She'd sensed him as soon as he'd walked in the door, but she wasn't sure it
was him. Her mind felt cloudy, hazy, and she didn't know why. Turning back
to the baby she used the cloth in her hand to finish rinsing soap off her
daughter's skin. "I didn't think I'd see you again."
"I didn't think you would either," he admitted, though he sounded little
like himself. "But I....I didn't want you to hear it like I did...not that
way...." he stopped. He couldn't say it. The tears came unbidden.
"Mac?" She asked as she wrapped her cooing daughter in a warm towel. She
turned to look at him and all color drained from her face. She'd never seen
Mac cry before. "Mac?"
A sob escaped him as he looked at the tiny bundle in her arms.
"Sit...please..." he managed to say when at last he could find his voice
again.
That made her heart sink. Without a word she walked past him and headed
towards the babies' room to dress her daughter for the day. Once Angel was
dressed and put down, she picked up Gabe who had begun to fuss and then sat
in their rocker.
Mac sat across from her, unable to tear his eyes away from the infant's
bright blue eyes and dark curls, his world spinning out of control.
"Mac will you just spit out whatever has you so worked up?" N'Ellie asked
softly as her son's fussiness grew. She knew they were bound to be rather
high on the PSI scale, but it seemed they could already pick up on moods a
little more easily then most babies. Not much seemed to phase her daughter,
but her son was sensitive.
"It's Josh..." Mac began, then stopped, swallowing hard against the lump in
his throat. "...he's.."
She was starting to feel angry. "Mac!" She hissed softly.
"...dead..." Mac finished at last, looking at her in disbelief. Quietly,
more to himself than to her he repeated. "He's dead."
Cold like she never felt before settled over N'Ellie as everything finally
became clear. Her hazy mind, his peaceful white noise was missing. Tears
gathered in her eyes as he cheeks began to burn in anger. She became ridged
which caused Gabe to wail. Dead? How could Josh be dead?
"He was alone in a corridor. They found trace dna and evidence of disruptor
fire. He was just vaporized. They think it was just a random attack..." the
tears had started again in earnest. "That's all I know. "
Her son's cries snapped N'Ellie too for a moment so she could calm him. She
cooed softly to him and whispered to him in French. She sent him calmness
though the bond she shared with both of her children. She then placed him in
the crib with his sister, she always had a soothing effect on him. N'Ellie
then walked into the living room where she stood stock still.
Mac stood, looking forlorn. "I should go. I just...I didn't want you hearing
it though the rumor mill like I did."
"Then it could be a lie." She said softly, her voice trembling.
Mac shook his head. "I wish it was. "His voice grew thicker as he went on.
"I wanted it to be."
Large hot tears rolled down her cheeks as she turned to look at Mac. She
didn't want to believe but she couldn't sense him anymore. "Would you lie to
me just to keep me from him?"
Mac shook his head, tears streaming down his face, unable to believe she'd
even asked that. What kind of bastard would lie about something like this?
It had been her last sting of hope even though she never really believed it.
With the simple shake of his head all her anger and grief consumed her.
N'Ellie let go of a warrior's yell of mourning before it turned into the
scream and growl of raw pain. She spun and in a blink of an eye upturning
everything in her path.
Mac backed out of her way, but kept an eye on her just in case. Josh would
never have forgiven him if he let her or the babies get hurt...
N'Ellie hadn't trashed a place this badly since her last loss. When Val had
died she'd trashed her mother's New York penthouse and nearly died of
alcohol poisoning, but she couldn't loose herself that way again. She had
her babies to live for. Glass broke, wood splintered, chairs, tables, the
couch were upturned. After what seemed like hours N'Ellie finally stopped,
took a breath, then collapsed.
Mac had remained still and silent, watching as his friend would have, but
not interfering so long as she remained safe. When she collapsed, he stopped
over the debris and picked her up gently and carried her to bed. Laying her
gently upon it, he peeked in on the kids again, then nodded to Jo. "Take
care of them." He told her quietly. "He would have wanted someone to."
Jo nodded from the rocker where she was cuddling both children. Their
mother's emotions had upset them both. "She'll need friends, Mr. McEntire. I
understand you are angry with her, but she has so few people." She'd have to
call Mrs. Murgo, she thought.
"We all do." Mac told her simply, unwilling to even attempt to go further.
They'd lost someone important to them both. And it was their own fault. They
were the reason he was out there. Her. And him.
"I am deeply sorry for your loss, Mr. McEntire." Jo said softly.
"Thank you." Mac answered, nodding slightly as another tear streamed down
his cheek. I'm sorry too.
Other related posts:
- » [USS Renaissance] "Loss"
