[projectaon] Re: Errors: <onomatopoeia> Redux
- From: "Jonathan Blake" <blake.jon@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: projectaon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Tue, 7 Oct 2008 08:57:42 -0700
Warning: I don't always have rational justification for my preferences
in the following. :)
On Tue, Oct 7, 2008 at 3:51 AM, Simon Osborne <outspaced@xxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
> CLICK:
>
> Book 1:
> 22: "Then behind you the ominous click of a crossbow being cocked..."
> 87: "...a subtle click confirms that your effort has not been in vain."
> 196: "...and you hear a metallic click."
> 205: "...the ominous click of a crossbow being primed sends a shiver down
> your spine."
> 326: "You hear a dull click--the Key works."
>
> Book 2:
> 287: "...you hear a faint click that tells you that..."
>
> Book 3:
> 194: "A subtle click indicates you have been successful..."
> 256: "...and is followed by a dull click."
> 303: "A click confirms that it works."
> 326: "A click confirms the success of your effort..."
Should be marked up.
> Book 4:
> 282: "You hear the hollow click of the lock, but this is echoed by a click
> far louder."
It seems odd to mark up both clicks. I think only the first should be marked.
> Book 5:
> 152: "You hear the creak of dry hinges and the click of bolts..."
Unless we're going to mark "creak", I suggest we leave this one alone;
it should be all or none. I'm not sure "creak" should be marked up. It
begins to feel like a book for toddlers where the reader is supposed
to provide dramatic and amusing sound effects.
> Book 6:
> 85: "As you hear the click of the crossbow trigger..."
>
> Book 8:
> 153: "...there is a dull click, and the entire circular front..."
> 177: "...waiting for the tell-tale click that will reveal the direction..."
>
> Book 9:
> 6: "There is a faint click but the doors remain firmly closed."
> 316: "There is a soft click and Sogh smiles proudly..."
>
> Book 10:
> 7: "The metallic click of a crossbow being cocked..."
> 152: "You hear a click followed by a rush of air..."
>
> Book 11:
> 253: "A loud click issues from the lock..."
>
> Book 12:
> 144: "You awake to the sound of a loud click, barely audible above the..."
> 338: "...you awake to the sound of a loud click, barely audible above
> the..."
>
> Book 13:
> 115: "Then you hear a click followed by the hiss of escaping air..."
> 234: "There is a faint click and, as you push, the wall glides inwards..."
>
> Book 14:
> 3: "...the lock emits a distinct click and, slowly, the great door..."
> 244: "...there is a metallic click as the bolt is drawn."
>
> Book 16:
> 33: "...you hear the click of a door latch."
>
> Book 18:
> 160: "...you hear the ominous click of a crossbow being cocked..."
>
> Freeway Warrior Book 2:
> 343: "There is a click of a pistol hammer being cocked..."
All should be marked up.
> Freeway Warrior Book 4:
> 28: "...there is a faint click and the whirr of a hydraulic lock as it
> disengages."
> [Also: whirr ?]
I vote for "click" only.
> 91: "...when you hear the click of a firing bolt being cocked."
> 277: "With a satisfying click, the lock disengages..."
>
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> CLANG:
>
> Book 5:
> 132: "...and the clang of hammer on anvil..."
>
> Book 9:
> 156: "...you are rudely awoken at dawn by the clang of a brass hand-bell."
>
> Book 10:
> 230: "The harsh clang of the alarm bell, and..."
>
> Book 12:
> 22: "...the silence is shattered by the piercing clang of a bell."
> 100: "...the sudden clang of alarm bells and the appearance of huge
> clouds..."
> 349: "...the alarm bell echoes between the walls of solid rock, its dreadful
> clang reverberating in
> your head."
>
> Book 13:
> 50: "...when suddenly the harsh clang of an alarm bell fills the hall."
>
> Book 15:
> 272: "...of galloping steeds, the clang of riven steel, and..."
>
> Book 19:
> 71: "...you suddenly hear the ringing metallic clang of an iron girder..."
> 185: "You hear the distant clang of a bell..."
> 289: "...you hear the distant clang of a bell and..."
>
> Book 22:
> 106: "...you unsheathe your Kai Weapon and the clang of striking metal
> echoes..."
All of these should be marked.
> Book 14: [I don't think any of these qualify to be marked up; however:]
> 38: "The distant clang and clash of steel tells you that the fighting is not
> over..."
> 44: "The distant clang and clash of steel tells you that the fighting is not
> over..."
> 51: "The distant clang and clash of steel tell you that the fighting is not
> over..."
> 80: "The distant clang and clash of steel tell you that the fighting is not
> over..."
> 171: "The distant clang and clash of steel tells you that the fighting is
> not over..."
> 172: "The distant clang and clash of steel tells you that the fighting is
> not over..."
> 343: "The distant clang and clash of steel tell you that the fighting is not
> over..."
I don't like these for the same reasons given for the "creak" and
"click" passage.
> Should this be standardised to "tell you" or "tells you"?
"tell you"
--
Jon
~~~~~~
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