[projectaon] Re: 21tvom
- From: Simon Osborne <outspaced@xxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: projectaon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Mon, 16 Mar 2009 15:26:39 +0000
McSwain LeRoy wrote:
about the text, the list of issues follows. thanks in advance for
processing these, simon. i reported all t he singular form used as
plural nouns i noticed but as always some may be false positives.
better to look at them than not, i reasoned. i look forward to the
responses and possibly learning some new grammar and idiom.
for sommerlund and the kai,
leroy mcswain
Hi LeRoy
A number of the issues you've reported have already been fixed (e.g. the on to -> onto ones) since
September when Book 21 was originally output. I've uploaded newer versions of Books 21-28 so this
shouldn't happen on the other New Order books.
Assume that the issues are "Escalated" unless otherwise stated.
Advanced Dungeons & Dragons World Championships in Baltimore => (the wording
decided on for the previous books is clearer)
The author blurb is kept in a separate "shared" file that all of the books link
to. This will be
fixed as soon as I output and upload a new version. [Should now be done for
Books 1-8, and 18-28.]
(ack) Sections 1-350 => Sections 1-350)
(ne) Fixed!
(rules) Random lumber => Random Number
(ne) Fixed! Annoyingly, this error was propagated to Books 22-28 as well. They
have also been fixed.
(disc) Curing You => (strike line break?)
Jon, Ingo, Thomas: I am not sure how to fix this. There is a <p> inside a <dd>
because there are two
separate paragraphs underneath this heading. Can we remove the superfluous
newline? Escalated.
(disc) adventure. You => (strike line break?)
(er) The line-break is there in the published version. I see no compelling
reason to lose it. Escalated.
(equip) Random Number Table, your Kai Weapon => Random Number Table; your
Kai Weapon
(er) No. The sentence wouldn't make sense with this change. Rejected.
(equip) weapon, such as a sword or axe. => weapon, such as a Sword or Axe.
(er) Already fixed to "...a Sword or an Axe."
(equip) and used in addition to two normal weapons. => awesome, but
how are you holding the third weapon? your teeth? also: weapons => Weapons
(er) weapon -> Weapons. Escalated.
As for the Special Item status of certain weapons, that's been in the rules
since the Sommerswerd.
It's why dual-wielding never made any sense to me.
(wisdm) Successful completion of previous Lone Wolf adventures (Books 1-20) may
be advantageous, but it is not essential for the completion of this New Order
adventure. => ???
Already reported here: <http://www.projectaon.org/en/Errata/VoyageOfTheMoonstone> Best solution
seems to be removal of this sentence entirely.
1 far to the west of Magnamund => ? far in the west of Magnamund
Or, far to the west of Sommerlund? Escalated.
2 on to => onto
(er) Already Fixed!
5 with a sneer bed to his cruel lips => ?with a sneer fixed to his cruel lips
(ne) Fixed as "fixed".
9 on to => onto
(er) Already Fixed!
11 drawing your Magnakai skill => ? drawing upon your Magnakai skill (or is
this idiom?)
Not idiom here. (er) Escalated.
36 nearer-and => nearer and
(ne) Already (Fixed)
40 The troupe are gifted acrobats and jugglers => ? The troupe is gifted
acrobats and jugglers
Or, The troupe is comprised of/The troupe comprises... (er) Escalated.
54 [x2], 56, 83 [x2], 132, 190, 208, 286, 310, 333: item => Item // Items =>
Items
(er) Rejected. Item only needs to be capitalised when it occurs after "Special" or
"Backpack".
58 custom? (this is the first time i've heard this word used this
way. i guess it's where we get the word customer from, but i couldn't
find this defintion in the dictionary; so, i'm checking if it's correct)
Using 'custom' in this way is completely correct, yes.
104 men's => ? mens'
No; "men" is in the plural form, but it is treated as singular (cf. Sheep vs.
Sheep's)
109 on to => onto
(er) Already Fixe.
113 ghost stories; Having seen => ghost stories; having seen OR ghost
stories. Having seen
(ne) ghost stories. Having. Fixed.
126 Oriah's horses => Oriah's horse
No; "yours and Oriah's horses" refers to two horses, not just Oriah's horse. Maybe this should be
changed to '...both horses...' Will Escalate that change (or similar).
163 orphaned section
219 says Oswin, ‘we're not => says Oswin. ‘We're not
(er) No, this is fine. Oswin says: "Don't be alarmed, we're not assassins."
227 That's wrong, that's wrong! => That's wrong! that's wrong!
(er) This is fine as-is.
232 You agree his price => ? You agree to his price (or is this idiom?)
(er) Could be considered idiomatic, but I think the alteration would be better.
273 remain legible for thousands => remain legible, for thousands
I prefer: symbols yet -> symbols, yet
285 was heard. ‘The fiend => was heard, ‘the fiend (quote is all one
sentence)
Disagree. Spoken English does not have to conform to the same grammatical rules and written English.
"Down by the river," is a self-contained spoken sentence in this context and can be punctuated
accordingly.
306 o'war => ? o' war
(er) According to Chambers it should be 'men-o'-war'. Escalated.
--
Simon Osborne
Project Aon
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