Notable programming quotes
- From: "Jacob Kruger" <jacobk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: "Program-l" <program-l@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Thu, 15 Jul 2010 13:53:32 +0200
Walking on water and developing software from a specification are easy if both
are frozen.
Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent
psychopath who knows where you live.
Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore,
if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not
smart enough to debug it.
The first 90% of the code accounts for the first 90% of the development time.
The remaining 10% of the code accounts for the other 90% of the development
time.
Linux is only free if your time has no value.
It works on my machine.
It should be noted that no ethically-trained software engineer would ever
consent to write a DestroyBaghdad procedure. Basic professional ethics would
instead require him to write a DestroyCity procedure, to which Baghdad could be
given as a parameter.
If debugging is the process of removing software bugs, then programming must be
the process of putting them in.
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention in human
history, with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
The trouble with programmers is that you can never tell what a programmer is
doing until it's too late.
Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft
building progress by weight.
There are two ways of constructing a software design: One way is to make it so
simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make
it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is
far more difficult.
With regard to adding more programmers to get a project done faster...Nine
people can't make a baby in a month.
A programmer started to cuss
Because getting to sleep was a fuss
As he lay there in bed
Looping 'round in his head
was: while(!asleep()) sheep++;
Weeks of coding can save you hours of planning.
You can stand on the shoulders of giants OR a big enough pile of dwarfs, works
either way.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger
and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and
better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
An idiot with a computer is a faster, better idiot
We better hurry up and start coding, there are going to be a lot of bugs to fix.
A computer is a stupid machine with the ability to do incredibly smart things,
while computer programmers are smart people with the ability to do incredibly
stupid things. They are, in short, a perfect match.
Mostly, when you see programmers, they aren't doing anything. One of the
attractive things about programmers is that you cannot tell whether or not they
are working simply by looking at them. Very often they're sitting there
seemingly drinking coffee and gossiping, or just staring into space. What the
programmer is trying to do is get a handle on all the individual and unrelated
ideas that are scampering around in his head.
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
Jacob Kruger
Blind Biker
Skype: BlindZA
'...fate had broken his body, but not his spirit...'
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