Dr. Dorothy Frauenhofer, 93; therapist was voice for black women . By
Kathleen McKenna Globe Correspondent . Born and raised in the South
before the civil rights era, Dorothy Frauenhofer became a teacher and
raised three children in the Midwest. After a divorce, she relocated to
Boston with her two younger daughters in 1967 without a job or a
definite plan, except to go back to school and start a new career.
Growing to love her adopted city, she built a counseling practice and
became a prominent voice for African-American women like herself.
"Almost every black professional that I have ever talked to who came to
Boston or surrounding areas from some other place hates it," she told
the Globe in 1988. "They talk about the coldness of the environment.
They talk about leaving, and many do. But if they stay 10 years, they
grow to like it because they've learned that it takes time, that you
have to work hard at meeting people here. Dr. Frauenhofer, who ran a
private practice in Brookline for more than 35 years, died of a stroke
July 29 in Atria Woodbriar assisted living in Falmouth. She was 93 and
had lived for 30 years in Onset, after living in Cambridge and West
Newton for many years. As a therapist, she developed a clientele of
mainly professional African-American women, and she was often quoted in
the media about the double challenge black women face in the working
world. "Our society has predetermined notions of how women should act,"
she told the Globe in 1983. "If women are assertive, people think, 'We
have something on our hands that's not normal.' The bias they face, she
added, leaves African-American women "in the double bind of wondering,
'Is that just the way they treat women? or, 'Am I treated this way
because of color? You think color, not gender, if you're black. Dr.
Frauenhofer said that at times black parents "have downplayed
ego-building" by telling their children: "Be good, don't show anger,
don't assert yourselves. She compared the phenomenon to white women who
"learn to hide being smart if they want to get married. "We have to
realize we are reliving our own experiences with parents who feared we
wouldn't survive if we were competitive," she said. Known to all as
Dottie, Dorothy Othello Stallworth was born in Americus, Ga., the
second of four children of Elbert Stallworth and the former Martha
Johnson. The family settled in Alabama, where Dr. Frauenhofer graduated
with a bachelor's degree in home economics from Tuskegee Institute,
where her mother had done the same. While at school she met Milton
Lemmons, a gunnery trainer for the Tuskegee Airmen. They married in
1943 at Tuskegee Army Airfield and later settled in St. Louis to raise
their family. Dr. Frauenhofer taught school before returning to school,
said her daughter Kasi Lemmons of New York. In 1963, Dr. Frauenhofer
received a master's in clinical psychology from Washington University
in St. Louis, sometimes bringing her daughters along when she studied
at the campus library. Her marriage ended in divorce in 1967, and she
moved with her two younger daughters to Boston, a city she'd become
fond of when she traveled there for workshops and classes, Kasi said.
"She had gotten a taste of Boston," Kasi said. "She liked it and
decided that's where we would go. Dr. Frauenhofer received a degree in
rehabilitation counseling from Boston University and then was a
therapist at Danvers State Hospital before becoming a guidance
counselor and administrator in the Newton Public Schools. There she
developed elementary school curriculums and helped incorporate
diversity into the social studies program, said her friend and former
colleague Vivian Johnson of Newton, who is now an education professor
emerita at Boston University. Dr. Frauenhofer also was involved in
Newton's Metropolitan Council for Educational Opportunity program. Dr.
Frauenhofer's Southern childhood and the obstacles she had faced
influenced and inspired her work, Johnson said, and she encouraged
everyone who encountered a hurdle to "number one, prepare yourself,
number two, become part of a community, and number three, keep moving
forward and never let it stop you from accomplishing your goals.
"Dottie was really about forward motion," Johnson said. "When she had
an idea, she acted on it. She was always eager and engaged and full of
life, and whatever negative thing had happened, well, you just moved
past it. Through a friend, Dr. Frauenhofer met Denis Frauenhofer in
1969 and they married soon after. He was an optical engineer and math
teacher, and they both were interested in pursuing lifelong education
and supported each other's efforts to do so, Kasi said. He enrolled in
law school, eventually becoming a criminal lawyer, while she received a
doctorate in planning and social policy in consulting psychology at
Harvard University. Helen Boulware Moore, who was a partner in Dr.
Frauenhofer's practice, said she was "a very easygoing person, just a
delight to be around. They ran conferences attended by African-American
professional women and often shared insights gleaned through sessions
with clients. Dr. Frauenhofer counseled career women, families,
couples, and children, and told the New York Times in 1989 that
African-American schoolboys faced unique stresses due to discrimination
and are more likely to be punished than their white classmates. "Their
problems begin early and multiply rapidly," she said. "They develop a
'school phobia,' and show it by being inattentive in class and not
doing their schoolwork. But these are symptoms of stress, not
rebellion. She and her husband bought and restored a 17-room Victorian
in West Newton, where they often took in foster children and welcomed
women in need of help. Dr. Frauenhofer also loved to read, cook, and
travel, and with her husband she visited Cuba, China, and many European
cities, including her favorite, Paris, where the couple took cooking
classes. She retired in 1996 to move temporarily to Louisiana and lend
child-care support to Kasi, an actress, writer, and director who at the
time was working on the 1997 film "Eve's Bayou. "She really helped me
out, cooking for me, taking care of my babies," said Kasi, who added
that her mother helped her on later projects, too. "She was always a
very involved mother, a very fierce advocate for us, and just a funny,
beautiful woman. Dr. Frauenhofer's daughter Cheryl Lemmons, a surgeon
and psychiatrist, died of cancer in 2011. Denis Frauenhofer died the
following year. They had "a really great marriage, though they faced a
fair amount of discrimination as an interracial couple," Kasi said of
her mother and Denis. "They had parties and entertained, but there was
also a side of them that was very insular. They were really entertained
by each other. At Dr. Frauenhofer's request, no service was held. In
addition to her daughter, she leaves another daughter, Adrienne Dillon
of St. Louis, and five grandchildren. Dr. Frauenhofer wrote many
articles and essays, and contributed to "Ourselves Growing Older," a
book about women and aging that was published in 1994. A longtime
writer of poems and short stories, she realized a lifelong dream in
2011 when she published "Castles of Deferred Dreams," a novel about an
orphaned black girl in 1920s Georgia. Kathleen McKenna can be reached
at kmck66@xxxxxxxxxxx.
