[mso] Re: for the geekier bah-humbugs among us
- From: "Rocky Fithian" <Rockyfit@xxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: mso@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Thu, 18 Dec 2003 16:26:47 -0500
I think all your calculations are out of line or at best wrong or things
from the north pole work different down this way. I'm 67 and still
think there is a Santa. GBGrin
Rocky
On 18 Dec 2003 at 9:00, Glenda Wells wrote:
> Is there a Santa Claus?
> 1. No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000
> species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of
> these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying
> reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.
>
> 2. There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world.
> BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish
> and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total
> - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average
> (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million
> homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.
>
> 3. Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the
> different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he
> travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6
> visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household
> with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out
> of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute
> the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been
> left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on
> to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are
> evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be
> false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we
> are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2
> million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at
> least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.
>
> This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second,
> 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the
> fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at
> a poky 27.4 miles per second; a conventional reindeer can run, tops,
> 15 miles per hour.
>
> 4. The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element.
> Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego
> set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting
> Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land,
> conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting
> that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal
> anoint, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need
> 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the
> weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this
> is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.
>
> 5. 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates
> enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same
> fashion as spacecrafts re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead
> pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per
> second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost
> instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create
> deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be
> vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will
> be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than
> gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be
> pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.
>
> In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve,
> he's dead now.
>
>
>
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